高中英语读后续写规范化评分模式对描写微技能教学的反拨作用研究

摘要：新高考读后续写所选材料一般是故事情节曲折起伏，具有较强逻辑性的记叙文，续写内容一般也以记叙文为主。若能恰当地运用描写，就能起到烘托气氛、刻画人物、揭示主题的作用，故事内容更具有感染力。文章立足2019年北师大新教材及历年高考真题习作，在充分研究读后续写规范化评分原则之后，根据现在高中生实际情况，引导学生练习描写这种表达方式，以提高读后续写的习作水平。

关键词：规范化评分;描写;教学

《普通高中英语课程标准2017版》高中英语学业质量水平二要求：学生能在书面表达中有条理地描述自己或他人的经历，阐述观点，表达情感态度;能描述事件发生、发展的过程;能续写语篇。读后续写评分标准第五档中原则之一是“内容的丰富”。这对学生的记叙文写作能力提出了直接的要求，要求续写部分详细，生动地描述情景、态度和感情等。

如何详细、生动地描述情景、态度和感情等，这就需要描写。描写就是通过一定的写作手段，把人物或景物的状态具体形象地描绘出来。这是一般记叙文和文学写作常用的表达方式。描写的作用是再现自然景色、事物情状，描绘人物的形貌及内心世界，使人物活动的环境具体化。下面是两篇学生的习作，让我们感受一下有描写与没有描写之间的区别。

习作一Ada then found a strong stick， which she would use to keep his leg straight. Having taken a deep breath， Ada sought to the memory of the knowledge of first-aid. So carefully did she tie Roys leg with the stick that she dared not breathe. Roy was seized by a sense of horror， yelling at his top lungs. “Please， calm down， or you will feel more painful.” Patting on his shoulder， Ada attempted to comfort him. Fortunately， Roys mum and a truck came. Then they sent him to the hospital. Witnessing Roy was saved， Ada felt that the amber-like sunshine was kissing every inch of her skin.

習作二Ada then found a strong stick， which she would use to keep his leg straight. Ada used her knowledge to tie Roys leg. Fortunately， the truck came quickly. It was a middle-aged man. Ada explained fast and the man took Roy to the hospital immediately. When Roys mother arrived， she thanked Ada again and again.

从这两篇习作比较可知，缺少描写的习作存在字数少，内容空洞，感染不了读者等问题。培养学生学会描写是读后续写教学中的重要环节。

一、 描写的分类及方法

（一）分类：描写有人物和环境描写

人物描写分为肖像、动作、语言、心理，环境描写分为自然和社会环境描写。基于高中读后续写的现实状况，文章着重讲述学生实际比较常用的环境场景、外貌神态、动作和情感心理描写。语言描写也是常用的，但对于高中生语言描写相对比较容易，就不详细说明了。

1. 环境场景描写

是对人物活动的地点、季节、气候、时间，以及场景的描写。它有烘托人物心情，渲染当时的气氛，推动故事情节发展，点明和突出中心的作用。The school was much smaller than he had expected， with only three classrooms. In front of the classrooms， there was a playground which got dusty on windy days and muddy on rainy days.（2019年北师大版英语必修一UNIT1）描写了村里学校的环境，衬托出支教工作的艰辛。

2. 外貌神态描写

对人的形象、面部表情进行刻画，可以突出人物的性格特征。（2019年北师大版英语选修一Literature Spot The Necklace） Mathilde Loisel， a beautiful woman is miserable with her life. Although from a family of clerks， she always feels she has “fallen from a higher station” and longs to be part of the upper class.两句话的描写把一位长得漂亮，不甘平凡，虚荣心极强的女子刻画得淋漓尽致。

3. 动作描写

通过对人物个性化的行动、动作的描写，以揭示人物性格。2019年北师大版英语必修二Unit 5 Race to The Pole中Putting on our shoes in the morning is getting slower and slower.通过穿鞋的这一动作揭示了登山者内心的无助。

4. 情感心理描写

通过剖析人物心理活动，挖掘人物思想感情，以刻画人物形象内在性格特征的一种描写方法。2019年北师大版英语必修二Unit 5 A Sea Story中It may appear strange， but at that moment， when we were on the edge of the whirlpool， I felt calmer than when we were moving towards it. I began to think how amazing a thing it was to die in such a way， and how wonderful it was to see the power of nature.此段描写了面对困难险境，作者镇定从容的内在性格特征。

（二）方法：描写有三种方法——感官描写、具象词汇和修辞手法

1. 感官描写

是指作者用他看到的、听到的、吃到的、嗅到的、摸到的，来写人或景物。作者在文章中使用感官描写，能让文章内容更具体，更易产生共鸣。以2019年北师大版英语选修三Unit 8 20000 Leagues Under The Sea为例。The darkness was intense. I saw a black mass disappearing in the east. It was the boat！ I was lost（视觉）. Suddenly I felt myself quickly drawn up to the surface of the sea（触觉）; and I heard these words： “If master would be so good as to hold onto my shoulder， master would swim with much greater ease.” I grabbed my faithful Conseils arm with one hand（聽觉）. I had almost no strength left; my fingers could hardly move; my mouth， opening and closing， filled with salt water（味觉）。细致入微的感官描写让读者感觉身临故事中，更好地感知故事的发展。

2. 具象词汇

较抽象的意义转化成英语习惯了的形象说法，从而使表达生动形象、易于理解。比如中国有句老话说“人生不如意之事十之八九”或是“人生并不总是一帆风顺”，可以表达为：Life is not roses all the way.具象词汇的使用可使读者在脑中形成画面感。

3. 修辞手法

常见的修辞手法包括比喻、拟人、夸张。使用修辞手法让文字超越本身的字面意义，可以解释复杂或抽象事物，使描述生动活泼。诸如选自2019年北师大版英语选修三Unit 8的这段：The wind moanedthrough the trees as she wandered lost and lonely through the forest. I was dark as a long winter night without moon or stars. Her fear rose likewaves in the ocean. Her breath was iciclesin the freezing air. Suddenly， through the forest rose a shadow. She screamed in fear.Dark，dangerous and larger than the highest mountain，it crept towards her. She fled...文中使用了明喻、暗喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法。

二、 培养学生描写能力的具体策略和实践

（一）关于环境场景描写

1. 单句写长法

提供一句英文，让学生不断地将此句加长，延伸下去。经常在基本句上添加形容词，副词，从句，非谓语和带with结构的短语，达到所要表达的意思。

基本句：Greenwich Village is a place.

增添信息后：Nowadays， Greenwich Village is an new and perfect place where the art people came together， hunting for apartments with north-facing windows and low rents.

2. 五感法

从视觉、嗅觉、味觉、听觉和触觉出发，让描述显得生动具体。（2020年7月，浙江高考习作）A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. He roared repeatedly， shattering what was left of the silence.此时声音的描写塑造了故事的立体感，感受到熊来不寒而栗的恐惧。

（二）关于动作描写

1. 动作链

描写动作的时候，分解动作，使用一系列精准动作形成动作链。高中生读后续写通常采用A， B and C形式，非谓语和独立主格呈现一系列动作。（2020年1月，浙江高考习作）Poppy was amazed. She wagged furiously， barked with joy and smiled， her tongue lolling out as she investigated the surprise. Wag， bark， smile， loll几个动词把老狗的惊喜描绘得淋漓尽致。

2. 重积累

英文中动词丰富多彩，如下表，平时学习中多积累，掌握动词的意思及用法，有利于准确使用，提高描写的水平。

与“看”有关

lookseewatchgazestareglareglimpseglance

twinklespotglistenexamine

与“走”有关

walklimpmarchstrollcrawlcreepsneakdash

striphikemeanderpaceedgestaggerrunrush

dragstephead forentermake ones wayflee

（三）关于情感心理描写

读后续写常用修辞手法来描写情感及心理，增强语言的生动性，变抽象为具体，变无形于有形。例如Unforgettable were her eyes that shone like diamonds and lips held in a steady smile.比喻经常用上介词like，连词as if。再如Fear slowly creeps upon her.用拟人手法表现情感。He glared at me with burning anger.簡单句使用了夸张。（2017年11月，浙江高考习作）But what impressed me most was that tent， which was forgotten deliberately by Mom. Though she did love going camping， it was she that presented that poor boy with this tent out of sympathy. It was she that made my childhood colorful. And it was also she that showed me the true meaning of giving.作者使用了排比，最终把故事的落脚点放在“亲情”，提升主题。

三、 结语

首先让学生明确描写种类，做到有的放矢，其次帮助掌握描写策略，安排赏析经典作品，积累素材形成语料库，最后进行描写操练。描写训练对学生的写作帮助是显而易见的。

参考文献：

[1]齐龙梅.高中英语词汇教学中培养学生隐喻思维能力的实践探究[J].试题与研究，2019（21）：94.

[2]邹蓉.高中英语阅读教学中培养学生阅读能力的实践探究[J].校园英语，2019（29）：115-116.

作者简介：

蔡晴瑜，福建省泉州市，福建省泉州市培元中学。