请求信写作指导

廖英 敖向丽

试题呈现

（2016·全国卷Ⅰ） 假定你是李华，暑假想去一家外贸公司兼职，已写好申请书和个人简历（resume）。给外教Mr. Jenkins写信，请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）。

注意：1. 词数100左右；

2. 可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

谋篇布局

请求信是对收信人提出要求，并希望对方满足该要求。写请求信的重点是要写清楚请求他们做某事的原因。在许多情况下，请求信是写给不认识的人或者机构的，所以在信的开头可以作一下简单的自我介绍。同时，由于提出的请求往往都是需要麻烦别人的事情，所以要注意语气的礼貌程度，不要吝啬你的感谢。

在结构布局上，具体可以分为三段：首先介绍自己，提出请求，再说明原因及其他事项，最后表达谢意，期盼答复。

开头常用句式

I am writing to formally request ...

May I ask you to consider ...

Could you be kind enough to ...

I am writing to seek your assistance in ...

I am writing to request you to make an investigation on the matter of ...

Will you be kind enough to give me some information about ...

结尾段常用句式

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Looking forward to a prompt reply from you.

Thank you for your kind assistance.

I shall greatly appreciate your answering my questions.

I would like to thank you for your generous help in this case.

I should remain grateful to you for the great help.

I would appreciate your considering this matter and getting back to me at your earliest convenience.

Thank you for your attention to these requests.

习作1

Dear Ms. Jenkins，

Im a senior student taught by you. Sorry to bother you but I am really in urgent need of your help.

I want to get a part-time jop in a foreign trade company. The resume had been ready， but I dont have confidence that I could be chosen. So I need your help. I know you are exactly a respectful teacher and have a great number of knowledge. Whats more， you are a native speaker， knowing the grammar better than us. So can you spend a little time to reduce my articles？

Im sorry to take up your time but I will be grateful if you could give me a hand.

Yours，

Li Hua

点评 根据高考评分标准，我们可以将其归为第四档（16～20分），具体评分为19分。

第四档（16～20分）的评分标准为：完全完成了试题规定的任务。虽漏掉一、两个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂的语法结构或词汇所致。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。达到了预期的写作目的。

这篇文章的优点在于：

1. 段落清晰，主题明确，且恰当运用衔接词，如so，whats more等。

2. 恰当地运用了一些亮点表达，如in urgent need of， 还运用了非谓语动词knowing the grammar better than us。

不足之处是：

1. 要点不足。文章提出具体的修改要求是修改文字和格式，而作者只说了reduce my articles。

2. 搭配不当。knowledge不能与a great number搭配，reduce my articles中的reduce应改为revise。

3. 时态混乱。在The resume had been ready， but I dont have confidence that I could be chosen这句话中，强调动作到现在已经完成应使用has been ready，同时后面的could应改为can，因为表述的不是过去的事情。

习作2

Dear Ms. Jenkins，

I am a senior three student from our high school， and I am writing in the hope of your assistance for standard writing and formatting.

In order to accumulate some social experience and improve my professional competence， I am going to take a part-time job during the summer vacation. Interested in a position in a foreign-captured company， I have already written my application letter and resume all in English. However， It is by no means whether there are some unauthentic expressions or inappropriate format in the materials I prepared. Therefore， I would be grateful if you could spend some time in checking the expressions and format of the attached materials thoroughly.

Your early reply would be highly appreciated.

Sincerely yours，

Li Hua

点评 根据此篇文章的优缺点和高考评分标准，我们可以将其归为第五档（21～25分），具体评分为24分。

第五档（21～25分）的评分标准为：完全完成了试题规定的任务。覆盖所有内容要点。应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂的结构或较高级的词汇所致。具备较强的语言应用能力。有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。完全达到了预期的写作目的。

这篇文章的优点在于：

1. 观点清晰，层次分明，要点齐全，细节补充到位，详略得当，内容饱满充实。

2. 合理运用衔接词使得过渡自然，如in order to，however， therefore。

3. 语言输出能力强，亮点表达多。在词方面，用到了assistance而非普通的help， accumulate而不是get/collect。此外，恰到好处用到一些形容词和副词让表达更饱满，如unauthentic， inappropriate， thoroughly。在短语方面，有in the hope of， professional competence， by no means。在句式方面，长短句并存，富有节奏感。运用了主语从句、分词作状语合并语句，使表达更紧凑。如：

Interested in a position in a foreign-captured company， I have already written my application letter and resume all in English. （分词作状语）

It is by no means certain whether there are some unauthentic expressions or inappropriate format in the materials I prepared. （主语从句）

不足之处是：

此篇文章存在极少数的词汇识记错误，如：assist sb. in doing sth.， 因此第一段中的your assistance for standard writing and formatting的for应改为in。此外，此篇文章高级表达有些过头，几乎句句都是高级句式，从而使得表达有些不自然，影响了应用文的交际性。