指向语言能力提升的读后续写语料库构建

邵 晨

（广东省中山市小榄中学 ）

作为一种将阅读和写作紧密结合的新题型，读后续写在2016 年10 月浙江省高考英语试题中首次亮相，之后2020 年至2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷和新高考Ⅱ卷也采用了该新题型，随着越来越多的省份采用读后续写新题型，如何提高读后续写的分数成为了师生需要迫切解决的问题。读后续写的评分主要从内容、语言和结构三个维度进行。学生的续作想要拿高分，在内容方面要在原文的基础上创造出新的内容，并与原文保持内容上的有效协同；在语言方面，要准确恰当地使用丰富的词汇和句型；在结构方面，要与原文有逻辑地衔接，并能够使用恰当的衔接手段使续作完整、连贯。在三个评分要点中，语言是基础，有了语言做支撑，构建的情节才可能有逻辑地被表达出来。

然而，反观学生续作，有的学生词不达意，有的学生使用的词汇、句法简单且单一，换句话说，语言的积累和运用能力在很大程度上限制了学生们发散性思维的展开和创新性思维的呈现。因此，本文将基于过去7 年的读后续写高考真题，提炼总结出不同主题和场景下的精彩句型，为同学们建构一个读后续写微型语料库，旨在助力学生积累丰富语言，提升语言能力，进而促进学生创造性思维的表达。

一、考情梳理

截止到2022 年，历年高考真题中，读后续写一共出现了13 次，表1 分析了每一道考题的体裁、话题、主题语境以及主题语境下的场景。

表1 浅析近7 年高考英语读后续写题

基于以上分析，不难发现读后续写涉及的场景可以归纳为以下几类：脱险类、助人类、个人成长类、家庭生活类、爱护动物类，每一个场景下又可以继续细分，具体如表2 所示。

表2 近7 年读后续写题场景归纳

一个语义场内存在某些特定且相关的语言表达，这些表达汇聚在一起承担着特定的语义功能，因此笔者从以上微场景中提炼了一些常用语料，构建了一个读后续写微型语料库，供同学们参考使用，旨在解决续作中言语匮乏、词不达意等问题。

二、场景刻画金句

（一）脱险类

1.野外环境描写

（1）Amid the frightening darkness,strange cries of wild beasts were heard.在令人恐惧的黑暗中，传来了奇怪的野兽的叫声。

（2）Darkness as black as ink flowed over the land and sky.夜色如墨，席卷了天地。

（3）Immediately,utter darkness ruled the forest.黑暗瞬间统治了森林。

（4）The forest was dark and damp,the sky was as black as ink,and the shadows of trunks and branches moved with the roaring wind,just like hundreds of tigers and lions which opened their mouths and tried to tear me into pieces.森林黑暗而潮湿，天空漆黑如墨，树影随着怒吼的狂风摇曳，就像数千头虎和狮子张着它们的血盆大口，想要把我撕成碎片。

2.凶猛野兽刻画

（1）The bear jumped to its feet and roared at me,ready to attack anytime.熊跳起来向我吼叫，随时准备向我发起进攻。

（2）The enormous bear howled with rage with its dripping jaws open wide.大熊垂涎三尺，生气地怒吼着。

（3）Pacing back and forth,the bear snarled at me,baring its enormous teeth,which would tear me into pieces anytime.大熊一边前后踱步，一边向我吼叫着，它露出巨大的牙齿，随时会把我撕成碎片。

（4）At night,howls and cries of lions echoed in the dark forest.晚上，狮子的嚎叫声在漆黑的森林里回响。

3.负面情绪状态描写

（1）It seemed all the strength had drained away,and we collapsed to the ground,starving to death.似乎所有的力气都用完了，我们瘫倒在地，饿得要死。

（2）Gazing at the dark forest,I felt a strong wave of fright surging through my whole body.望着漆黑的森林，一种强烈的恐惧感席卷了我的全身。

（3）He felt very cold,trembling uncontrollably,with his teeth chattering.他感到非常寒冷，身体不由自主地瑟瑟发抖，牙齿也在打寒战。

（4）The thought that I might be torn into pieces by the bear sent quivers down my spine.一想到可能会被大熊撕成碎片，我就不寒而栗。

4.自救及他救过程

（1）After what seemed like ages,we heard a faint voice from the distance.似乎过了很久，我们听到远处传来了微弱的声音。

（2）Just as we were pondering upon how to seek our way back,a brilliant idea occurred in my mind that...就在我们思考如何寻找归路时，我灵光一现……

（3）Scared but determined,he strained every nerve to do sth.with his remaining calmness.虽然害怕，但他意志坚定，竭尽全力保持平静去做……

（4）Tom pulled over,set the brake and got hold of the fire extinguisher.Two good bursts from the extinguisher and the big fire was put out.汤姆靠边停车，拿起灭火器喷了两下之后，大火被扑灭了。

（5）“Help! Anyone help!”she shouted at the highest volume but heard nothing in response except the roaring wind.“救命！谁能帮帮我!”她以最高的嗓音呼喊求救，但是除了狂风之外，没有任何回应。

5.获救与表达感恩

（1）It was you that risked your life and saved me from the hungry animal.是你冒着生命危险从饥饿野兽的口中救了我。

（2）Overjoyed to see sb.coming to their rescue,they all breathed a sigh of relief.看到某人前来营救他们，他们高兴极了，都松了一口气。

（3）I shouted with great joy and excitement,tears of relief twinkling in my eyes.我开心地叫了起来，如释重负的泪花在眼眶里闪烁。

（4）Safe and sound,they hugged tightly with tears welling up in the eye.安然无恙，他们紧紧相拥，眼泪夺眶而出。

（5）Had it not been for your timely rescue,I would have been burned to death.如果不是你的及时营救，我可能会被烧死。

（二）个人成长类

1.成长前的负面情绪

（1）A wave of embarrassment enveloped me.我感到一阵尴尬。

（2）Tears of fear and regret welled up in my eyes.害怕和后悔的泪水从我眼中奔涌而出。

（3）Badly frightened by the sudden incident,she was frozen to the spot.被突发事件严重惊吓之后，她呆若木鸡。

（4）I was flooded with a sense of horror.恐惧感向我席卷而来。

（5）He felt a wave of panic sweeping over him.他惶恐不安。

2.成长后的喜悦与感恩

（1）Grasping sb’s hands firmly,Tom said...紧紧握住某人的手，汤姆说……

（2）Casting a grateful look at him,she did...向他投去感恩的眼神，她做了……

（3）Mary bent and gave him a tight hug.玛丽弯下腰来，紧紧地拥抱了他。

（4）She looked gratefully into children’s eyes,saying“Thank you for giving me the most valuable gift I have ever had.”她向孩子们投去感激的目光，说道：“谢谢你们，这是我收到的最珍贵的礼物。”

（三）家庭生活类

1.有趣瞬间

（1）They all jumped to their feet,dancing and singing with thrill.他们一跃而起，激动地又唱又跳。

（2）Laughter of happiness echoed through the living room.欢笑声在客厅里回荡。

（3）They shrugged and grinned from ear to ear,driving away the nervous and embarrassing environment in the house.他们耸了耸肩，咧开嘴大笑起来，驱散了屋内的紧张和尴尬的氛围。

（4）Roars of laughter burst all around the room with all the families throwing themselves onto the sofa at ease.大笑声充满了房间，全家人都自在地躺在沙发上。

2.感动瞬间

（1）I picked up the receiver,and on the other end of the receiver,a tiny and trembling voice spoke,“I love you,Daddy,”she said and then hung up.我拿起话筒，在话筒的另一头，一个微弱且颤抖的声音说道：“我爱你，爸爸，”然后她挂断了电话。

（2）A surge of happiness and warmth flowing through her,Mom kissed the two kids gently.一股幸福的暖流流遍了她全身，妈妈温柔地亲吻了两个孩子。

（3）Overjoyed to see his families sitting and talking together in harmony,the father’s eyes grew misty.看到家人其乐融融地坐在一起聊着天，父亲泪眼模糊。

（4）Tears of gratitude welling up in my eyes,I nodded my head and accepted the gift.我感动得热泪盈眶，点点头，接受了礼物。

（四）助人类

1.面对困难消极情绪

（1）A wave of/ a sense of/ a surge of rage/grief/embarrassment/guilt flooded/swept over sb.

2.描述困难情境

（1）As the economy was in decline,some people in the town had lost their jobs.Many of the families were struggling to make ends meet.随着经济衰退，镇上的一些人失去了工作。很多家庭都在努力维持生计。

（2）There was a man sick in bed,and his wife who took care of him could not go out to work.丈夫卧病在床，妻子不得不辞去工作照顾他。

（3）One day,a hurricane hit the area where he lived,completely destroying his home.有一天，飓风袭击了他居住的区域，彻底摧毁了他的家。

（4）As he got closer,he found another vehicle upside down on the road.One more look and he noticed flames shooting out from under the disabled vehicle.当他走近时，他才发现一辆车翻倒在路面上，再仔细一看，他发现破损车辆的底部喷射出了火苗。

（5）A thick burning smell filled the air,which nearly made him choke to death.空气里满是烧焦味，浓烟让他快窒息了。

3.灵机一现妙助人

（1）It suddenly occurred to sb.that...某人突然想到……

（2）A brilliant idea flashed across her mind that...她灵光一现，想到……

（3）Without any hesitation,sb.did something.某人毫不犹豫地做了某事

4.皆大欢喜结局（感激+感动+升华）

（1）It didn’t take long before...不久之后,……

（2）Surprisingly enough,it turned out that...令人震惊的是……

（3）What happened next was pure magic,which made everyone breathed a sigh of breath.接下来发生的事像魔术一般，让所有人都松了一口气。

（4）I was extremely grateful to her for extending a helping hand.对于她伸出的援助之手，我不胜感激。

（五）爱护小动物类

（1）Stretching itself,letting out a lazy yawn and licking its paws,the little cat curled up next to him.小猫咪伸伸懒腰，慵懒地打着哈欠，舔着爪子，蜷缩在他身边。

（2）Seeing the meat in the master’s hand,the little dog wagged its tail eagerly with its tongue hanging out of its mouth.看到主人手里的肉，小狗狗渴望地摇着尾巴，伸着舌头。

（3）The dog looked up at Tom,wagging its tail gently as if expressing its gratitude to its master.狗狗抬头望着汤姆，温柔地摇着尾巴，好像在向主人表达感激之情。

（4）The little cat arched its back,pacing forth and back at ease.小猫咪拱起背，安逸地走来走去。

三、场景升华金句

（一）脱险类

（1）I realized how lucky I was to be rescued and how blessed I am to have such supportive friends.我意识到能够被营救、能够有这样支持我的朋友是多么幸运。

（2）This frightening experience taught me a valuable lesson in my life,through which I knew the importance of ...这次可怕的经历让我学习到了人生中宝贵的一课，通过这次经历我认识到了……的重要性。

（3）I will be always careful when I go outdoors.After all,safety always comes first.以后外出时我会注意安全。毕竟安全总是第一位的。

（4）After that,I obeyed the instructions seriously and never acted just following my will.It was indeed a lesson that benefited me a lot.自那之后，我很认真地遵守指令，不再仅根据自己的意愿行动。这次教训让我受益良多。

（二）个人成长类

（1）The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts,the more you can attract great things into your life.你的思想越积极，你生命中就会遇到更多的好事。

（2）All of the hard work and sacrifice paid off.When you have a dream,pursue it with all of your heart.所有的付出与艰辛都会有所回报，当你心怀梦想的时候，全身心地去追逐吧！

（3）A dream doesn’t become reality through magic;it takes sweat,determination and hard work.梦想不是通过魔法变成现实的，而是通过汗水、决心和努力来实现的。

（4）Actually,every individual possesses talent.Be brave when you find it and also make efforts.You can create miracles in the end.事实上，每个人都有天赋。当你找到你的天赋时，要勇敢并且付出努力。最终你也可以创造奇迹。

（5）It’s never too late to go for your dream.As long as you grasp every opportunity and take full advantage of it,you will stand a chance to realize your dreams.追逐梦想从来为时不晚。只要你抓住每一个机会并且充分利用它，你就有机会实现梦想。

（6）The journey to success is not smooth.It is full of challenges and difficulties,which we should be brave to face.As long as we don’t give up hope and make every effort to overcome all the difficulties,we will surely achieve our goal finally.通往成功的道路不是平坦的。它是充满困难与挑战的，我们应该勇敢面对。只要我们不放弃希望并且不遗余力地去克服困难，最终我们一定能实现梦想。

（三）家庭生活

（1）It was Henry’s kindness that made me realize that family matters the most.是亨利的善良让我认识到家庭才是最重要的。

（2）I keep the little doll as a reminder of my daughter’s love.我留着这个小娃娃，以提醒女儿对我的爱。

（3）The warm golden sunlight,flooding in through the window,together with love between my family,warmed up us,as if the freezing ice was all melted.温暖的金色阳光透过了窗户，和家人之间的爱温暖了我们，冰好像都融化了。

（四）助人类

（1）From that day on,every time I meet someone who is in need of help,I always reach out to them,hoping to pass on the love and kindness to others.Just as a saying goes,“Roses given,fragrance in hand.”从那天起，每当我遇到需要帮助的人，我总会向他们伸出援助之手，希望能够把爱与善良传递给别人。正如谚语所说：“赠人玫瑰，手有余香。”

（2）Sometimes,a small act of love and kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference.有时候，一个小小的善举能够产生巨大的影响。

（3）It is love that makes the world go round and Tom felt it deep in his little heart.汤姆深深地感觉到是爱让世界运转。