高考书面表达“赚分”有道

谢　勇

“书面表达”在英语高考试卷中占25分 (北京卷占35分)，所占分值较大，因此做好这一题目对于考生取得理想的成绩至关重要。近年来高考书面表达对于考生写作能力的要求逐步提高。一篇好的书面表达除了要求要点齐全、表达正确和语句通顺外，还要求考生能“应用较多的语法或较复杂的结构”，“具备较强的语言运用能力”。在高考书面表达中，假如“语法结构和词汇有些许错误，但为尽量使用较复杂的结构或较高级的词汇所致”，仍可得高分。那么考生怎样才能在高考中夺得高分呢？笔者认为除了审清要点、体裁和人称以及书写规范等基本要求外，如果考生能够在高考有限的时间内从篇、句、词三个方面稍动脑筋，“赚分”还是有道的。

一、 篇

1.讲究谋篇布局，使文章层次分明。综观近几年的高考书面表达命题，尽管体裁多有变化，但主要还是三种基本文体——记叙文、应用文和说明文。记叙文就是把人物的经历、行为或发生的事情叙述出来。应用文的写作应特别注意其格式的规范和措词技巧。说明文是对事物形状、性能、特点、成因等进行的理解式表述的文章。无论是哪种体裁的文章都要讲求谋篇布局，使文章层次分明。如写说明文时可首先根据内容把文章分成几个段落，每段拟定一个主题句(topic sentence)，然后围绕主题句展开发挥，扩展文章要点，再按一定的逻辑关系，用适当的过渡词把写好的段落连成一篇完整的文章。如2008年浙江卷高考书面表达范文：

Working Individually or Working in a Team

There are basically two ways to get work done.One is to work individually.In this way, people can decide for themselves when to start work and how to do it.Whats more, they will be able to learn how to solve problems on their own.

People may also choose to work in a team, where they can learn from each other and help each other.Besides, they may work out better ways to get work done by discussion.

Personally, I prefer to work in a team,which offers me a chance to learn how to get along with others and to share my experiences with them.As the work can be divided among several people, it can be done efficiently.Teamwork is always important.

2.根据行文逻辑进行信息重组或调整表达顺序。一般情况下，材料中要点顺序即是行文顺序。但在写作时切勿拘泥于材料中要点顺序。在写作前应根据逻辑关系对材料要点进行组合、调整，才能充分体现作者不拘泥于材料的灵活思维。

例如：(NMET2001春)写信邀请美国朋友给学生做一次讲座。信的主要内容包括：1.讲座目的：使学生对美国电影有所了解；2.讲座内容：简要介绍美国电影（制片）业的历史。

Im writing to ask you to come and give a talk on the history of American films and film making industry in order to help students understand how the industry has developed into big business as it is today…

分析：这几句几乎看不出原要点的影子，文章经过材料重组之后，给人的感觉是文章思路非常清晰，层次分明，逻辑性强，体现了作者的写作功底。

再如：（2007年江苏卷）写的是有关全国亿万学生阳光体育活动，其中有这样的要点“教育部倡导学生每天锻炼一小时，健康工作五十年，幸福生活一辈子”。不少学生只是将这三层意义运用并列句进行机械地阐述，没有认真分析其中的逻辑关系，因此表达很难出彩。试体味下列句子表达的效果：

The Ministry of Education calls on students to exercise for an hour every day, in the hope that they will have good health to work fifty years and enjoy the whole life.

分析：很显然这句话表达很富逻辑性，考生用in the hope that 这一结构有机地将三层意义巧妙地结合在一起。这说明考生在审题时真正动了脑筋，而不是随意写就，同时也体现了考生扎实的语言基本功。

3.在合情合理、合乎规范、力所能及且不违背文章原意的前提下适当增添信息，是令自己的文章与他人的文章相区别的重要方法。如：（NMET2003）你的英国笔友来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房，并写信告知住房的情况。我们可以在文章的结尾用“Do you think youd like it? If not, I can try and find another place for you.Just let me know.”一句话。文字提示和示意图上并没有相关的信息。如果你不写它，自然不会失分。但在要点的基础上稍加发挥立即收题，语句平实朴素，却又合情合理，它的存在无疑提升了整篇文章的档次。再如，在描写新旧对比时，中间可用：“But now things are quite different.”“But things are not what they used to be.”作为过渡句，这样，就显得妥帖自然。当然，信息的添加切忌漫无边际，旁逸斜出；或者一味追求标新立异。这样，不仅劳而无功，还会凭空多出许多错误的机会。

二、 句

1.句子表达简洁明了，做到言简意赅。做书面表达时不要为求词数的达标而一味堆砌。殊不知，有时删减一词，反而使句子焕发生机。如：

Now it is time to tell you everything that has happened.(the whole story)

He hurriedly went home to get his schoolbag.(for)

Fortunately, he was still alive, though he was seriously injured.(去掉he was)

It was our brave Ah Fu that pulled my little sister to the bank.(safety)

He is a boy who is sixteen years old.［of 16 (years old)］

2.句子描写细节化，切勿泛泛而谈。句子表达简洁明了，并不是不需要细节描写。如果一篇书面表达能够做到要点齐全、表达正确和语句连贯，再辅之以恰当且得体的细节描写，不仅能使文章内容饱满，还能为文章表达增色。如：

(1) A:Mrs Smith will give us a report.

B1:Mrs Smith will give us a report, which I think will have a good influence on our studies.

B2:Mrs Smith will give us a report.Personally, I think itll be of great value to our studies.

分析：原句（A句）来自口头通知，句子简单而平淡。修改后的句子（B1、B2）语句充实，更有说服力；同时也有效地避免了学生写“口头通知”时容易出现词数不够的情况。

(2) A:Where the playground used to be now stands a library.

B:Where the playground used to be now stands another new building—our library，in which we students can freely float in the sea of knowledge.

分析：原句（A句）过于简单，不容易给读者留下深刻印象。B句通过巧妙地使用同位语another new building—our library和定语从句，使句子更加形象生动，并进一步说明了图书馆的功能。

(3) A:I failed in the maths exam again.

B1:Much to my disappointment, I failed in the maths exam again.(What disappointed me most was that I failed in the maths exam again.)

B2:What a pity I failed in the maths exam again.

分析：原句（A句）只是对事实简单而平淡的陈述；B句在A句的基础上加入了表白情感的词语，读者不仅了解了事实，还能感受到作者沮丧无奈的心情。

总之，对高考书面表达的细节描写考生应有所取舍，不能面面俱到，考生应根据自己的语言水平和书面表达的具体要求，扬长避短，恰当发挥。

3.句式类型多样化，凸显语言功底。高考书面表达提倡“文章流畅，语言丰富、得体”。比较注重应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性。这就要求我们应该尝试一些比较复杂的语法结构和不同的词汇，以使自己的书面表达上一个档次。试比较以下句子：

(1) A:The area of the flat is 25 square metres.It has a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen.

B:Its a small flat of 25 square metres, with a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen.

(2) A:We were very glad to see the crops and vegetables growing well.

B:How glad we were to see the crops and vegetables growing well!

(3) A:Charging entrance fees will cause some people not to get in.

B:No doubt charging entrance fees will keep some people away.

(4) A:Listening has a positive effect on us students friendship.

B:When it comes to students, it is listening that has a positive effect on our friendship.

(5) A:You must come here.

B:Do come!

(6) A:I think one and a half hours may be 〆nough.

B:Do you think one and a half hours will be 〆nough?

通过以上句子对比不难看出，A类句子句式结构稍显单一、呆板，而B类句子给人的感觉是文章句式结构多样、语言活泼，体现了考生的语言功底和驾驭语言的能力。

三、 词

1.词汇和短语的选择不落俗套。俗话说，见微知著，一叶知秋。词汇和短语的选择处处体现出作者的词汇能力和整体英语水平。如：表达“我们唱歌跳舞玩得很愉快”这一句时。We had great fun singing and dancing.当然比We sang and danced and had a good time.更容易给阅卷老师留下深刻印象。因此在有把握的前提下，尽量使用高级的词汇和短语，不要人云亦云，这有助于你获得高分。历年高考满分作文，都得益于能将高级词汇和短语应用得贴切自然，毫不造作。请体会下面画线部分被括号中的高级词汇和短语被替代的效果：

(1) 对你的帮助我非常感激。

We are very thankful to you for your help.(much obliged)

(2) 你打电话时如果我不在，可留个口信。

If Im out when you phone, leave a message.(not available)

(3) 昨天专家就这个问题和我们参加了讨论。

Yesterday the expert joined in our discussion ゛bout this problem.(participated in)

(4) 这是一项艰巨的任务。

This is a difficult task.(challenging / demanding)

(5) 教师节就要来临了。

Teachers Day is coming.(drawing on)

此外，有时一篇书面表达中多次出现同一个词，这时稍稍变换一个表达方式尤为重要，因为丰富的表达方式可以反映出学生英语运用能力和阅读量的多少。如：表达“喜欢”，在不同的句子里可以用不同的词或短语，不要给阅卷老师有这种印象，这个学生只会用“like, love”。仔细体会下面句子中表达“喜欢”的词语的运用效果。

(1) I dont care for baseball.

(2) She is fond of playing the piano.