劳动话题作文示例解析

杨庆春

[真题呈现]

（2020·重庆A卷）国家提出了将劳动教育（Labor Education）纳入中小学国家课程的方案。为此，你校校报英语栏目English World就开展劳动教育的意义，以及如何在校园内开展劳动教育，发起征文。请你以“Some Advice on Developing Labor Education in Our School”为题，写一篇短文参赛。

要求：

1.80-120词，开头已给出，不计入总词数;

2.文中不能出现自己真实的姓名和所在学校的名称。

参考信息：

1.劳动教育的意义（学习生活技能、养成良好习惯）;

2.校内劳动教育建议（开设种植课、组织做蛋糕比赛等）;

3....

Some Advice on Developing Labor Education in Our School

Its reported that Labor Education will be included in the education of middle schools and primary schools in China.

【试题解读】本文要求以“Some Advice on Developing Labor Education in Our School”为题写一篇短文，介绍劳动教育的意义、反映校内劳动情况等内容。义务教育阶段的培养目标是把中学生培养成德智体美劳全面发展的社会主义建设者和接班人。话题反映了中学生的学习生活实际，属于学校生活范畴。

写作前，要认真研读试题要求和提示信息，尤其要注意标题和两点提示要点内容。就本文特点可采用四段式写作方法完成全文。第一段内容已给出;第二段从学习生活技能、养成良好习惯等方面讲述劳动的意义;第三段要对开展劳动教育活动提出合理建议。例如，开设种植课、组织一些劳动技能大赛等。同时对第三个要点的内容展开合理的想象;第四段表达自己的见解和主张。

写作时，首先要合理安排短文内容，叙述应有层次、条理。其次应注意文章的表达，整体考虑句式的应用，先确定主干结构，然后添加修饰成分。为提升作文档次，可使用一些高级词汇、短语以及复合句、非谓语动词等复杂结构。同时要注意语句之间的衔接，要使文章上下连贯，表达流畅。文中时态应为一般现在时，人称主要为第一、第三人称。

[习作展示]

Some Advice on Developing Labor Education in Our School

Its reported that Labor Education will be included in the education of middle school and primary schools in China.

As for Labour Education， I couldnt agree more①. We can learn some important life skills from labour.

Moreover， we can also form the good habit of working， which are good for us in the future②. At the same time we are supposed to love and respect labour.

To develop Labour Education in our school， Id like to give some advice③. First， our school should offer some labour classes， such as planting， cooking， and so on. Second， our school should hold a competition of making cakes to encourage students to do it well. Third， our school should hold more activities to make students more interesting in labour④. Last but not the least， we need experienced teachers to give us some instructions.

As the saying goes， “There is no gain without labour.”⑤ In my opinion， I love labour very much. And I hope our school will open the course as soon as possible to enrich our school life⑥.

[亮點分析]

①句式表达简洁，As for短语使用恰当，句子“I couldnt agree more”新颖独特。

②此句为非限制性定语从句，丰富了文章的句式，提高了文章的档次。

③句式表达灵活，此句运用了非谓语动词短语，并将“To develop Labour Education in our school”移至句首作目的状语，彰显了作者语言驾驭的能力。

④句中运用“make sb/sth adj”结构作目的状语，丰富了文章的句式。遗憾的是此句误用词语，需要把interesting 改为interested，（be）interested in 是固定搭配，意为“对……感兴趣”。

⑤作者使用了諺语，给文章增彩。

⑥句中使用了短语“in ones opinion”和宾语从句表达了作者的主张，做到了首尾呼应。

[习作点评]

本文要点齐全，并结合要点进行了合理的拓展，使得文章的内容充实、丰富。语言使用流畅、地道，长短句结合。一些逻辑词汇的应用，使文章内容连贯、紧凑，浑然一体。此外，作者使用了moreover， form good habits， encourage， experienced， instructions， as for，be supposed to， such as， in ones opinion， （be） interested in等高级词汇，还使用了谚语、非限制性定语从句、宾语从句的复杂句式，以及不定式短语作状语等复杂结构。这些高级词汇和复杂结构的应用，彰显了作者丰厚的语言功底。

[经典范文]

Some Advice on Developing Labor Education in Our School

Its reported that Labor Education will be included in the education of middle schools and primary schools in China. I think its important. We can learn some life skills and form good habits. Both will help us a lot in the future.

As for how to run the course in our school， I have some ideas. The school can offer us classes to teach us how to do the cleaning and grow plants. Whats more， the school can set up some clubs， such as cooking club and paper-cutting club...The school can also hold competitions to see who is the best in making cakes. Such activities will make our school more colorful and meaningful.

Im looking forward to taking the course in the new term. I believe I will do well in it.