高中英语段落写作剖析及课堂应用研究——基于一堂段落写作技巧指导示范课的思考

王静静

一、段落写作的重要性

高质量的段落是优秀文本的必要组成部分，段落的质量直接决定整个篇章的成败。段落要素及写作技巧的掌握是提升学生阅读能力及写作能力的重要途径。近年来的高考英语改革越来越重视写作考查，赋分比例越来越高，如高考改革首批试点浙江省高考英语写作包括应用文与读后续写或内容概要，分值达40分。究其原因，在于写作这一主观考查形式能最大限度地反映学生的综合语言运用能力。

二、英汉段落特征及学生存在的问题

英语写作一直以来是相当一部分学生的短板。学生的习作往往存在结构混乱、主旨不清等问题，他们不知道如何组织段落，这与其不了解英语段落的结构特征不无关系。

20世纪60年代，卡普兰（Kaplan R.B.1996）明确提出“英语段落展开的方式呈直线型，通常以话题陈述句开始，后面跟有若干分述部分，其意思的流动是朝着逐渐明晰的方向进行的”。之后，多位学者的研究也印证了这个理论。换言之，英语段落呈线型结构，典型的英语段落结构是用主题句（Topic Sentence）开门见山地阐明这个段落的话题，明确作者观点；随后用扩展句（Supporting Sentence）对主题句加以说明或阐释，层层展开；有的段落结尾还会有结论句（ConcludingSentence），重申主题或者引出下文。整个段落组织严谨，有较强的逻辑结构。这根植于西方人的逻辑思维或者分析思维。相比较而言，汉语段落则呈螺旋型结构，往往不直接进入主题，作者的观点非常含蓄，常常在层层铺垫之后才逐渐明晰，经常缺失主题句或结论句。段落中的句子组合也往往比较随意，没有明显的逻辑结构，经常围绕主题不断重复，一个段落往往可以表达一个甚至数个意思，所表达的意思往往需要读者自己理解、领悟。这同样是东方人辩证思维的产物。

由于英汉民族思维方式上的差异，学生在英语段落乃至全篇的行文中深受母语的负迁移干扰。即使学生掌握了词汇、句型，能够写出地道的句子，在结构上仍然存在较大问题：一些学生喜欢在开头写一大堆无关痛痒的细枝末节，迟迟不进入主题甚至跑题；一些学生进入了主题，展开的内容与主题没有密切联系；还有的学生随心所欲，所写内容毫无逻辑性可言……这些都是不符合英语段落写作模式的。

三、研究意义和目的

针对中学英语教学中普遍存在学生写作结构不明晰、层次不清楚的问题，明确段落的内容构成和形式的完整性是中学生写作的重要环节。段落要素和阅读、写作密不可分，掌握段落要素不仅可以帮助学生在阅读理解中快速定位段落的关键信息，还可以指导学生在写作中构建好段落框架，提高他们的阅读、写作能力。

四、教学实例

段落是构成文章的基础，牛津高中《英语》Module 10 Unit 2 Grammar and usage：The elements of a paragraph介绍了段落的组成要素，即主题句、扩展句和结论句。主题句在段落中通常位于段首，包含了段落的要点。扩展句应按逻辑顺序展开，用以解释或证明主题句的内容。结论句再次强调主题句内容或者引出下文。教材包括书后的Workbook还辅以了必要的练习。

授课班级是物生普通班，学生英语能力总体较弱，尤其在阅读能力和写作能力上有欠缺。段落要素的学习对他们来说非常必要。通过学习，能够帮助他们在阅读理解中快速定位关键信息，在写作中构建段落框架。

教学设计如下：

（一）教学目标

Learn to identify the topic sentence and the concluding sentence；

Master some micro-skills to write a coherent paragraph；

Realize the importance of the elements of a paragraph.

（二）设计理念

先通过七个段落引出段落的基本要素及应该掌握的相关技巧，由浅入深，环环相扣。在后面的段落写作中指导学生按照“总起—分述—总结”的模式组织文章，让学生巩固所学技巧，提高写作水平，活学活用。整堂课以学生为中心，教师仅加以引导，让学生自己在学习中分析段落、剖析句子、提炼技巧、判断正误、应用写作，充分调动学生的能动性，体现学生的主体地位。

（三）教学过程

Step 1：Warming up

Is the hamburger delicious?Why is it attractive?Different foods are put together to make it attractive to you.Do you want to make your writing attractive to the teachers like the hamburger?A good text is made up of good paras.Like the layers of a hamburger，a para has some basic elements.What are they?—Topic sentence/Supporting sentences/Concluding sentence（板书）

【设计说明】导入部分基于学生预习了教材内容，用汉堡包这个具体、形象的事物帮助他们更好地理解一个好的段落应该具备的要素，开门见山，直奔主题。

Step 2：Reading for elements of a paragraph

1.Topic Sentence

Every paragraph has its main point.In which element can it be found? —Yes，in the topic sentence.The topic sentence is the soul of a paragraph.

2 mins for you to finish Workbook page 105，C2/1 and think about the reasons for your choice.

Check the answer first.（d：Human beings should stop hurting animals.）

In this paragraph，how do you find the topic sentence in this paragraph?Have you found that there is a word repeated for several times?—Hurt.That is the key word.That is the first skill to help us identify the topic sentence：locate key words.（板书）

【设计说明】部分学生会误选a选项（Human beings and animals should live together in peace.），这个环节就是引导学生学会定位关键词来选择主题句。a选项表述虽然正确，但这段文字通篇讲的是人们有意或无意对动物造成的伤害，关键词是hurt，主题句的第一个要素是要具备关键词。

2 mins for you to finish Workbook page105，C2/2

Check the answer first.（a：Success favors hard-working people.）

It seems that three choices contain the same word.—Success.Is it the key word of the paragraph?Is it enough to find out just the key word?—No.So there should be a limitation on the key word.Which aspect of success does the paragraph talk about?Is it about waiting for opportunities to succeed?Is it about the difficulty in being successful?What is it about?How can we achieve success?—By working hard.That’s limitation on the key words.（板书）

【设计说明】四个选项中有三个都涉及关键词success，仅凭定位关键词不能选出正确选项。这个环节就是引导学生意识到除了寻找关键词，还需要对关键词进行限定，读懂这段文字主要讲的是关于这个关键词的什么内容。

You did a good job in choosing!What about writing one?Is it more challenging for you?What is a good topic sentence?Brief or long?Clear of vague?How to write a brief and clear topic sentence?Can these two skills help you?Time for you to write a suitable topic sentence for paragraph C.3 mins.

Paragraph C：Have you heard or read stories about people who are sick and have been healed by listening to music?Is it a miracle or a successful form of medicine?

____________________________Some of the ways people use music therapy（疗法）are to reduce pain，such as in childbirth or during cancer treatments，or to stimulate brain activity after an injury or memory loss.Music therapy has also been successful in aiding children to overcome disabilities.Children can move their bodies with the music and stamp along to the beat.

Discussion：Share your answers in groups，choose the best one and give us your reasons.2 mins.

Invite students to share their topic sentences.（实物投影）

（引导学生用技巧分析主题句）Key word：music therapy.What is the limitation?What is it used for?

Limitation：to reduce pain/to stimulate brain activity/to overcome disabilities—to treat different medical conditions and illnesses.

One possible answer：Around the world，music therapy is being used to treat different medical conditions and illnesses.

【设计说明】在学生了解了选择主题句的两个技巧后，这个环节是帮助学生巩固这两个技巧，并将其应用到写作中。通过让学生分享、比较自己的作品，引导他们学会分析及欣赏好的主题句。

Have you noticed that there are two questions before the topic sentence?Do you know why?Why does the author use questions here?—To attract/grab the attention of readers.We call it a hook（板书）.A hook can be a quotation，an interesting fact or just a question.Interested in the hook，maybe readers can’t wait to read the whole paragraph.

【设计说明】引导学生了解段落中“引子”的用意。

2.Concluding Sentence

The topic sentence tells us the main point.What about the concluding sentence?3 mins for you to finish paragraph D.Think about the function of the concluding sentence.

Paragraph D：Too much packaging is doing serious damage to the environment.The UK，for example，is running out of areas for burying this unnecessary waste.If such packaging is burnt，it gives off greenhouse gases which go on to cause the greenhouse effect.Recycling helps，but the process itself uses energy.____________________

Collect two answers of the students and check the answers.

A concluding sentence is used to emphasize the topic in a new way.For example，“That’s to say，it is necessary to controlpackaging.”A concluding sentence can also be used to introduce the topic of the next paragraph.For example，“So，what can we do to control packaging?”After reading it，what can we find in the next paragraph?—Ways to control packaging.Point out the skill：Emphasizing the topic in a new way or introducing the topic of the next paragraph.（板书）

【设计说明】不是所有的段落都有结论句。在学习了主题句之后，紧接着学习结论句，目的是让学生体会两者之间的联系。这个环节通过让学生写结论句，并欣赏不同版本的结论句，帮助他们了解结论句的作用，即强调主题句的内容或引出下文。

3.Supporting Sentences

Is it enough to have a good topic sentence and a concluding sentence?What are supporting sentences used for?They help explain or prove the topic sentence.Turn to page 105，Workbook，C1.There are so many sentences and can we call it a paragraph?—No.Why?These sentences are not organized in order so we can’t understand at all.Should a paragraph be organized in a logical order?How do you organize the paragraph?Put the sentences in a correct order and underline words that help form the logical paragraph.

Check the answer：d—g—h—j—e—a—f—b—i—c

Are there any words to help you?—First，however，second，third，besides.They are transitions.

That’s skill 3：Organize the supporting sentences in a logical order，using transitions to link them if necessary.（板书）In this way，we can make our paragraph coherent.

【设计说明】这个环节可以帮助学生掌握最基本的写好扩展句的技巧，即按逻辑排序并辅以恰当的过渡词。

In fact，it’s common for us to make logical mistakes when writing.

Here are two paragraphs from your mid-term examination papers（见图 1、图 2）.

Discussion：Go through the two paragraphs to check：Do the paragraphs have all the elements?Are the supporting sentences related to the topic and organized logically?

Paragraph F：

图1

Paragraph G：

图2

Paragraph F：The first point and the second point are similar：Have a quiet place to study without being disturbed.What does“this habit”in the third point refer to?We can’t find“the habit”in the context.

Paragraph G：Generally speaking，it is a good paragraph.But the most obvious mistake is that keeping healthy is not directly related to keeping concentrated.

Besides a logical order，the supporting details should be related.（板书）

【设计说明】分析学生的习作可以发现，大部分学生基本能写一些必要的过渡词来连接扩展句，最大的问题在于所写内容不相关。这个环节呈现了学生在刚刚结束的期中考试中的习作，图1不知所云，图2看似段落要素具备，但细看还有考虑欠妥的地方。只有学会了判断，学生才能在以后的写作中避免犯类似的错误。

To sum up，how to write a good paragraph?What makes a good paragraph?A good paragraph includes a brief and clear topic sentence，with key words and limitation；supporting sentences with a logical order，and related details；sometimes a concluding sentence to emphasize the topic sentence in a new way or introduce the topic in the next paragraph.

Step 3：Paragraph writing

Why not write a paragraph now to check if you can apply the skills to the practice?

Topic：How to keep concentrated as a Senior Three student？

Word limit：about 60 words

2 mins for you to share the ways to keep concentrated in groups first.

6 mins for you to write the paragraph according to the structure.Pay attention to your handwriting.

2 mins for you to exchange your paper，check if your partner has finished his writing according to the structure.Give a star if you find a good sentence and underline the mistaken sentences if any.Do remember，focus on the structure instead of grammar.

2 mins for you to have a presentation.Comment on your partner’s writing.（实物投影）

Here is my paragraph.（范文实物投影）Read aloud.

Do you think it is a well-developed paragraph?Are the supporting details related to the topic?

Polish your paragraph after class.

One possible version：

As a Senior Three student，it’s high time to make efforts to concentrate.First，set clear short-term and long-term goals to motivate myself.Second，change passive learning into active learning.For example，write down my thought and explanation as well as the teacher’s words when having classes.Furthermore，strike a balance between study and rest.In this way，I can keep focusing my attention when studying.I’m fully aware that only with a determined mind can I achieve success.

【设计说明】掌握关于段落要素的几个技巧的最终目的是应用于写作。在了解了两段学生习作的问题后，顺势重写这个段落，将本堂课学到的技巧应用于其中。考虑到专注这个话题比较难展开，让学生进行讨论、交换意见有助于内容的充实。

Step 4：Conclusion

Now do you think your paragraph is as attractive as the hamburger?

In a word，make your topic sentence as Attractive as possible with key words；make your supporting sentences as Believable as possible with logical order and related details；make your concluding sentences as Convincing as possible by emphasizing.

I believe with this ABC Principle，you can write a good paragraph because good sentences make a good paragraph.Good paragraphs make a good passage.

【设计说明】引导学生再次回顾本堂课的重点。

（四）板书设计（见图3）

图3

（五）教学反思

整堂课容量较大。在实例中通过对段落要素的层层剖析，让学生很好地掌握了相关技能，达到了预设的目标。教师能运用语言技巧设置悬念或小亮点以吸引学生，给这堂以阅读写作技巧为主的课锦上添花。

结束语

教师通过对英语段落结构的深层次剖析，让学生从本质上了解英汉段落的差异性，从而帮助他们真正掌握英语段落在框架层面上的写作技巧。总之，只有明确篇章中各段落的基本要素，并在语言上进行推敲、完善，才能成就一篇优秀的英语习作。