江苏省兴化市大垛中心校 九年级(2)班 潘 阳
My sister has a pair of beautiful eyes.Her eyes are bright.I like her eyes very much.She has a small mouth.When she eats food,she looks like a lady.
Once I failed in my exams.I was very sad.She encouraged me and helped me to find out the reasons.When I was sad,she always took me to eat nice food.Now,she has grown up and worked in other(another)city.We seldom meet and eat food together.But she often gives me some money to buy delicious food.I want to play with her and share things with her.This summer holiday,I shall take the bus to meet her.I shall do a lot of things with her.Then we are all(both)very happy.I hope I can grow up quickly.Then we can live together all the time.
Many people think someone who has a sister will be very happy.So do I.
【习作点评】
这是一篇介绍自己家人的习作。
文章层次清晰,用词准确,语句通顺。作者从介绍她姐姐的外貌、她喜欢姐姐的原因和表达作者的情感三个方面成文。多种时态的正确的运用及复合句、倒装句的灵活的使用,体现了作者扎实的语言功底。
但如果把other改为another,以及all改为both,文章将会更加完美。