Help a Friend

By Sophie Zhang

在孤独中，我们想起朋友，于是孤独不再孤独；在困难中，我们想起朋友，于是困难不再困难；在快乐中，我们想起朋友，于是快乐更加快乐——每个人都需要朋友，有福同享，有难同当。对于那些有心理障碍的人而言，朋友可谓更加珍贵。如果我们能伸出援助之手，友善地和他们成为朋友，也许，他们就不会做出很多傻事。所以，请不要吝啬友谊，和那些需要帮助的人成为朋友，让这个世界更加美好。

In the light of the recent school shootings in America, I always shudder to think what could have happened if any of my friends were victims and I woke up in the middle of the night to a phone call that informed me that one of my loved ones was no longer alive.1. in the light of: 鉴于；shudder:发抖，战栗； victim: 受害人。We watch the news, feel our hearts break for the victims and their families, and then go about our normal lives. We forget until another tragedy happens again.Then it’s the same cycle all over again—nothing about the tragedy is brand new, and we feel the crushing familiarity of the pain, yet we do nothing to stop it.2. 同样的循环再次发生——悲剧也没什么新奇的地方，我们感受同样撕心裂肺的痛，但却无计可施。all over again:再一次；brand new: 全新的；crushing: 支离破碎的。The gun laws are the same.We treat people the same way. We make no effort to understand the symptoms3. symptom: 症状。of mental illness.

Sometimes I think we forget that the victims of such events aren’t just those who were killed.4. 在我看来，有时我们也忘记了此类事件的受害者不仅仅是那些被杀的人。We forget that the shooter5. shooter: 射手，枪击者。is a victim of our system, of our failed mental health system, and of our failure to treat people with kindness and sympathy when they need it.Sometimes I wonder—if someone had taken the effort to be a true friend to these individuals, would the same shootings have broken out? If a true friend had extended a branch of kindness, or gotten to know the person well enough to encourage them to seek treatment,would we be in the same position as we are in now? There are no definitive answers—but I can’t imagine that an act of friendship could ever be a negative prescription.6. 对此没有明确的回答——不过，我想不到友谊还能有（什么）负面的作用。definitive: 明确的；prescription: 解救方法。Oftentimes we hear about how quiet,lonely, and bullied these individuals were.7. oftentimes: 时不时地；bullied: 被欺负的。Perhaps their mental illness caused them to seek isolation and abandon friendship.8. isolation: 孤立；abandon: 遗弃。Or perhaps no one ever offered their friendship to begin with.

Maybe it’s harder to sympathize9. sympathize: 同情，怜悯。when we feel so distant from the shooters and the families of the victims. It doesn’t feel different from watching a tragic movie. But imagine if you were the parent of the shooter, and you found out it was your child who executed10. execute: 执行，做。a mass murder. Maybe you always knew that your child often buried himself into solitude11. solitude: 孤独。. Did you ever wonder if he or she enjoyed that singlehood?

When I was growing up, I always had some sort of strange complex that compelled me to befriend those children who were often bullied or made fun of in school. I sought out those who were alone and by themselves and offered them my friendship. I remember people always asked me—why do you make friends with those weirdos12. weirdo: 古怪的人。? Don’t you know that there’s a reason why they don’t have any friends? And, most importantly, if you’re being friends with them because you feel sorry for them, is that even a real friendship? Do they even want your pity friendship?

First of all, we need to stop being so quick to label13. label: 给……贴标签。people as “weird” or “losers.”Just because someone is different doesn’t automatically turn them into “losers”, which literally, by definition,means someone who is unsuccessful.14. 一个人不能因为他的与众不同而被自动归为“失败者”，即字面上所说的“不成功的人”。automatically: 自动地；literally:照字面地。Being different does not automatically disqualify you from succeeding in life, and we should not convince them into thinking so at such a young age. Secondly,why should “weird” have a negative connotation15. connotation: 含义，暗示。? I was always taught that being unique and different was good, and suddenly we tell ourselves that being not like everyone else disqualifies you from having real friendships? Lastly, maybe it was often true that I extended my friendship out of a moment of sympathy. But in most cases, that friendship turned into something real once I got to know the individual.Just because someone is misunderstood doesn’t mean they don’t want friends. As children, we’re still finding ourselves and still struggling to feel comfortable with the people we are. It doesn’t help when people quickly cast negative judgments on you before you even know who you are. They turn into our critiques, never getting the opportunity to be the great individuals they were destined to be. We call them “monsters” and“freaks”16. freak: 怪人。, and one day, when the gun is turned on us,we realize that they really have become “monsters”of our systems. That’s what we pinned17. pin: 迫使。them to be,and, true to our word, that’s what they become.

So next time you see someone eating by themselves in the cafeteria, maybe ask them if they want company. If they let you, maybe you’ll realize that you’ve just created a friendship with someone different and unique and special.