神情交融，营造读后续写灵动画面

在读后续写创作中，神情交融描写是一种营造画面感的写作技巧，它将角色外在的与头部、手部、心脏和脚部等相关的神态变化和内心情感活动紧密结合起来，使读者仿佛能够看到人物的灵魂深处。这种描写技巧的运用不仅让故事更加丰富多彩，还能让读者深入角色的情感世界，产生强烈共鸣。通过细腻且富有感染力的笔触，作者引导读者走进人物的内心世界，感受他们的喜怒哀乐，从而营造出鲜活且富有感染力的画面。

一、 神情交融描写在2024年高考英语新课标Ⅰ卷读后续写中的体现与协同应用

在2024年高考英语新课标Ⅰ卷读后续写题所给出的阅读文本（下文）中，笔者就发现两处生动的神情交融描写。

I met Gunter on a cold， wet and unforgettable evening in September. I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference. Due to a big storm， my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half. I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague. The moment I got off the plane， I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought.

That was when I met Gunter. I told him where I was going， but he said he hadnt heard of the bus station. I thought my pronunciation was the problem， so I explained again more slowly， but he still looked confused. When I was about to give up， Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend. After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century， Gunter put his phone down and started the car.

Finally， with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station. Thankfully， there was a long queue（队列）still waiting to board the bus. Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus， turned around， and looked at me with a big smile on his face. “We made it，” he said.

Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet. I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard. He tried it several times， but the card machine just did not play along. A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out.

At this moment， Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station. There， at the entrance， was a cash machine. I jumped out of the car， made a mad run for the machine， and popped my card in， only to read the message： “Out of order. Sorry.”

根据读后续写的语言协同性原则（读后续写要求续写内容与原文的语言风格保持一致，包括词汇、句法、语法等方面。考生需要通过阅读原文，理解作者的语言习惯和表达方式，并在续写中进行模仿和运用），考生可在续写段落中融入对主要人物角色的神情交融描写，以营造灵动画面。融入神情交融描写的参考范文如下。

I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.On hearing that， he frowned， confusion written on his face （句1）. I thought to myself that he would insist on my paying him immediately. However， instead of demanding the fare， he merely flashed me a kind smile and signaled for me to leave（句2）. “Dont worry about the fare. Go and catch the bus！” he urged with his eyes shimmering with sincerity（句3）. For a moment， I could scarcely stammer out a “Thank you”. I promptly write down his phone number， assuring him that I would undoubtedly pay him back. In no time， I ran like crazy once again， boarded the bus and waved goodbye to Gunter.

Four days later， when I was back in Vienna， I called Gunter as promised. We agreed to meet at the same taxi rank where we first met. As I approached him， I noticed him leaning against his car， a warm and friendly smile spreading across his face（句4）. The sight of his welcoming expression made my heart leap with a sense of relief and happiness（句5）. I could hardly wait to convey my sincere gratitude for his kindness and handed him the money I owed him. Deeply touched by his generosity， I firmly insisted on treating him to some food. We discovered a cafe nearby and chatted for a long time. Gradually， a wonderful friendship based on trust and kindness emerged．

句1中的“he frowned， confusion written on his face”（他皱起了眉头，脸上写满了困惑）这一神情交融的描写，展示了Gunter在听到坏消息时的即时反应。这种描写不仅传达了他内心的不解，还为读者提供了一个情感上的窗口，让我们能够感同身受地理解他的心理状态。同时，这种描写也为后文的情节发展设置了基调，即尽管他感到困惑，但他的行为可能会出乎意料地宽容和理解。

句2中的“he merely flashed me a kind smile and signaled for me to leave”（他只是对我友好地微笑，并示意我可以离开）这一神情交融的描写，显示了Gunter的善良和宽容。这个微笑和手势是对前一句困惑表情的直接对比，突出了他决定不追究车费的慷慨行为。这种描写加深了读者对Gunter角色性格的理解，为故事增添了温暖和正面的情感色彩。

句3中的“his eyes shimmering with sincerity”（他的眼睛闪烁着真诚）这一神情交融的描写，强化了Gunter的真诚和善意。眼睛作为心灵的窗户，这里的描写不仅传达了他话语背后的真实情感，也进一步巩固了他作为一个充满善意和可信赖人物的形象。这种描写有助于建立读者对Gunter的信任感，并为两人之间可能发展的关系打下基础。

句4中的“a warm and friendly smile spreading across his face”（一个温暖友好的微笑在他的脸上扩散开来）这一神情交融的描写，表现了Gunter在重逢时的积极情绪。这个微笑不仅反映了他对再次见面的期待，也传递了一种开放和接纳的态度。这种描写有助于营造一个温馨和愉快的重逢氛围，为两人之间建立友谊提供了情感上的桥梁。

句5中的“The sight of his welcoming expression made my heart leap with a sense of relief and happiness”（看到他欢迎的表情，我的心因为释然和快乐而跳动）这一神情交融的描写，揭示了叙述者对Gunter表情的积极反应。这种描写不仅表达了叙述者内心的感激和愉悦，也反映了Gunter的表情对叙述者情绪的影响。这种互动加深了两人之间的情感联系，并为故事中友谊的发展增添了深度。

以上范文中的神情交融描写细腻地传达了人物的内心情绪和情感变化，增强了故事的感染力和真实性，让读者能够更好地共情和理解人物的感受。

二、神情交融描写的作用和案例 （以《夏洛的网》为例）

1. 丰富人物形象，使人物更加立体、生动。通过细致的神情交融描写，读者可以更好地了解角色的性格特点、心理状态和情感变化，从而对人物产生更深刻的印象。

［例1］ （长睫毛衬托可爱）He looked cute when his eyes were closed， because his lashes（睫毛）were so long.他闭着眼的时候看起来格外的可爱，因为他的眼睫毛是那么的长。

［例2］ （与外在神态对比反衬善良与忠诚）Underneath her rather bold and cruel exterior， she had a kind heart， and she was to prove loyal and true to the very end.在她那可怕冷漠的外表下，有着一颗善良的心，以后发生的事情将证明，她对朋友是忠实，真诚的，每一刻都是如此。

［例3］（揉眼睛显现惊讶）He brushed his hand across his eyes and stared harder at Charlottes web.他用手来回揉了揉眼睛，死死地盯向夏洛的网。

2. 增强故事情节的感染力。当人物的神情与情感相互交织时，读者可以更直观地感受到人物在故事中的喜怒哀乐，从而更容易被故事所打动。

［例4］ （担忧的神态画面）She was staring at Fern with a worried expression on her. 她用一种担忧的表情盯着弗恩的脸。

［例5］ （思念的神态画面） Every day Wilburn would stand and look at the torn， empty web， and a lump would come to his throat. No one had ever had such a friend-so affectionate， so loyal， and so skillful.每天威尔伯都会走到那里站一会儿，望望那张残破不堪的空网，这时他就会哽噎起来。从没有人有过这样一个朋友——这样亲密的，这样忠诚的，这样聪慧的朋友。

［例6］（激动的神态画面） Wilburs heart pounded. he began to squeal. Then he raced in circles， kicking manure into the air. Then he turned a back flip. Then he planted his front feet and came to a stop in front of Charlottes children.威尔伯心里充满了骄傲。他幸福地狂叫起来。接着他开始转着圈儿地跑，把牛粪向空中踢去。然后他又跑回来，抬起他的前脚，停到了夏洛的孩子们面前。

［例7］ （悲伤/痛苦的神态画面） Hearing this， Wilbur threw himself down in an agony of pain and sorrow. Great sobs racked his body. He heaved and grunted with desolation.听到这些话，威尔伯立刻沉浸到巨大的痛苦和忧伤之中。他痛苦地绞动着身子，哭叫起来。

3. 推动故事情节的发展。通过人物神情的变化，可以揭示出人物之间的矛盾、冲突和关系变化，从而为故事的发展奠定基础。

［例8］ （揭示人物关系画面） He would stand and gaze up at her with adoring eyes. 这时他会站起来，用充满深情的眼睛注视着她。

［例9］ （因幸福感而进一步行动） Wilburs heart brimmed with happiness. He felt that he should make a short speech on this very important occasion.威尔伯的心里盛满了幸福。他感到应该为这个重要时刻发表一场简短的演说。

［例10］ （恐惧感刻画角色心理冲突） The thought of death came to him and his legs began to tremble with fear.他开始想到了死，就害怕得哆嗦起来。

三、神情交融描写经典语料的归纳与总结

1.喜悦/兴奋

［例11］A smile lit up her face and her eyes were shining/sparkling with great joy．

她的脸上露出了笑容，眼睛里闪烁着喜悦的光芒。

［例12］A bright smile curved her lips and her

eyes sparkled with gladness， as if she had just discovered the most precious thing.一个明亮的微笑使她的嘴唇弯曲，她的眼睛闪烁着喜悦，仿佛她刚刚发现了最珍贵的东西。

2.感动/宽慰

［例13］She gathered the children in her arms and

held them close. 她把孩子们揽入怀中，紧紧地抱住他们。

［例14］Lost in the delicious breakfast and pure

love from her twins， she sobbed， with delightful tears streaming down her face. 她沉浸在美味的早餐和她的双胞胎纯洁的爱中，抽泣着，开心的眼泪从脸上流下来。

3.愤怒

［例15］Jane could hardly contain her anger， slamming her fist on the desk in anger．

简无法抑制她的愤怒，愤怒地用拳头猛锤桌子。

［例16］She looked at him with eyes flashing with anger， looking as if she were going to burst. 她愤怒地看着他，看上去快要气炸了。

4.悲伤

［例17］With a heavy heart， she wondered if she would ever find someone who truly understood and valued her. 心情沉重，她想知道是否会找到一个真正理解和珍视她的人。

［例18］On hearing the bad news， she lowered down her head， tears streaming/rolling/pouring down her cheeks. 听到这个坏消息，她垂下了头，泪流满面。

5.恐惧

［例19］Extremely frightened， I felt my legs were trembling and my palms were sweating. 我非常害怕，觉得我的双腿在颤抖，我的手掌在出汗。

［例20］A flood of fear swept over him. His throat tightened and his knees felt weak. 他惊恐不已，喉咙发紧，膝盖发软。

6.紧张

［例21］Her face turned pale， feeling like sitting on pins and needles．

她脸色苍白，感觉如坐针毡。

［例22］ With trembling hands and a racing heart， I nervously opened the acceptance letter. 双手颤抖、心跳加速，我紧张地打开了录取通知书。

7.尴尬

［例23］Disappointment and embarrassment written on her burning face， she felt tears began to well up in her eyes.失望和尴尬写在她灼热的脸上，她感到眼泪开始涌上眼眶。

［例24］So embarrassed was she that she stood there clumsily feeling the blood rushing to her face. 她太尴尬了，笨拙地站在那里，感到血液涌上脸颊。

8.惊讶

［例25］My jaw dropped to thd62ea84d4ea004335dc0a3f1d9804d19e ground when I looked at the grade on my math paper. 看到数学卷子成绩的那一刻，我简直要惊掉下巴。

［例26］A spark of surprise flashed across his face. He froze there， staring at me with wide eyes. 他的脸上闪过一丝惊奇。他惊得瞪大眼睛看着我。

四、神情交融描写时应当避免的问题

1.缺乏真实感

有些学生在进行神情交融描写时，会过于夸张或脱离实际情况，致使读者难以产生共鸣。比如：“On hearing the news， his face curved in an extremely exaggerated way that made him look like a monster from a horror movie， and his eyes popped out of their sockets as if they were springs.” 听到这个消息时，他的脸以一种极其夸张的方式扭曲，让他看起来像恐怖电影

里的怪物，他的眼睛从眼眶里凸出来，仿佛像弹簧一样。

此句中的神情交融描写太过奇特，脱离实际且不符合常理，会给人很怪异与不合理之感。作者可尝试将自身置入所描写的情境，避免过度夸张的表述，尽量使神情描写处于合理范畴，更贴近生活实际。

2.与情节不匹配

神情交融描写应与故事情节及角色的情感状态相适配，若不匹配，会让读者感到困惑或不真实。例如：Lily stood in the corner. She was very regretful for misunderstanding her mother. Tears silently slipped down her cheeks and dropped onto the floor. Panic flickered in her eyes， as if she was afraid that something unknown would hurt her. Lily 站在墙角，她因误解母亲而极为后悔。泪水无声地从她脸颊滑落，滴落在地板上。而她眼神中闪烁的惊慌，仿佛在害怕有未知事物会伤害她。

以上语段结尾处的神情交融描写使读者难以理解角色的行为动机，显得不合理、突兀，破坏了故事的连贯性与整体性，让读者难以沉浸其中并产生共鸣。作者应当细致分析故事的走向及具体情境，使神情描写与之紧密结合，符合当时的氛围与发展逻辑。

3.过度使用

对人物神情和情感的刻画占据篇幅过大，且描写手法过于密集、夸张和繁复。例如：The boy found himself in a risky situation where he was about to be attacked by a ferocious wolf. His face distorted into an expression of excessive fear， his eyes bulged so wide that it seemed they might pop out any moment， and his mouth opened with a shout that could shatter glass. His whole body trembled uncontrollably and sweat streamed down his face. 男孩发现自己处于一个危险境地，即将遭到一只凶猛狼的攻击。他的脸扭曲成过度恐惧的表情，他的眼睛瞪得极大，似乎随时可能蹦出，他张开嘴发出一声可震碎玻璃的喊叫。他的整个身体失控地颤抖，汗水如水流般从他脸上淌下。

上面语段中的神情交融描写冗长繁琐，给人以堆砌和滥用之感，不利于推动后续情节的发展。作者在描写时，应用简洁有力的语句传达关键信息，不过多进行不必要的渲染。

五、结语

神情交融描写在高考英语读后续写中有着极为显著的作用。它能够使人物形象变得更加鲜活灵动，让读者仿若身临其境。借由对人物神情的刻画，像是喜悦的笑容、焦虑的眼神等等，能够细致入微地呈现出其内心世界，增强故事的感染力。这不但有益于推动情节的进展，还能让续写的内容更为丰富且真实。恰到好处的神情交融描写能够令文章更具吸引力，提升作文的层级，使阅卷老师体会到考生对语言的精确把控以及对人物情感的深刻领会，进而为获取高分筑牢坚实的基础。

【本文系海南省教育科学规划专项课题“指向读后续写的英语经典小说阅读课CASE教学模式研究”（课题编号： QJH202310159， 主持人：朱敏）研究成果】

【作者简介：上海外国语大学三亚附属中学朱敏高中英语名师工作室主持人，曾先后担任高三英语备课组长和高中英语教研长，曾获得长沙市国开教育者和长沙市三区支教优秀教师等荣誉称号，参与编写教育教学著作3本】

责任编辑 吴昊雷