A good read

Reading

He was an old manwho fished alone in a boatand he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.In the first forty days,a boy had been with him.But after forty days without a fish,the boy’s parents had told him that the old man was now exactly and finally salao,which is the worst form of unlucky,and the boy had gone at their orders in another boatwhich caught three good fish the first week.

It made the boy sad to see the old man come in each day with his boat empty and he always went down to help him carry fishing tools.

The old man was thin with deep wrinkles in the back of his neck.His hands had the deep scars from dealing with heavy fish.But none of these scars were fresh.

Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same colour as the sea and were cheerful and full of confidence.

“Santiago,”the boy said to him as they climbed from the bankwhere the boat was pulled up.“I could go with you again.We’ve made some money.”

The old man had taught the boy to fish and the boy loved him.“No,”the old man said.“You’re with a lucky boat.Stay with them.”

“But remember how you went eighty-seven days without fish and then we caught big ones every day for three weeks.”

“I remember,”the old man said.“I know you did not leave me willingly.”

“It was papa made me leave.I am a boy and I must do what he told me to.”

“I know,”the old man said.“I quite understand that.”

“He hasn’t much faith.”

“No,”the old man said.“But we have.Haven’t we?”

“Yes,”the boy said.“Can I offer you a beer on the Terrace and then we’ll take the fishing tools home.”

“Why not?”the old man said.“Between fishermen.”

They sat on the Terrace and many of the fishermen made fun of the old man and he was not angry.Some other older fishermen looked at him and were sad.But they didn’t show it and they spoke politely about the sea,the weather and of what they had seen.

Adapted fromThe Old Man and the Sea

Tasks

1.Read and pay attention to the sentences in bold.

2.What does the underlined word“that”refer to?

3.What do you think of other fishermen?

4.What can we learn from the old man?

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Writing

Recently you have read some good books.You want to recommend them to your classmates.Pick one and write an article to recommend it.

原文呈现

I’d like to recommend the bookJane Eyre.It’s a novel written by British writer Charlotte Bronte.

The book tells a story about Jane Eyre,a girl who lost her parents when she was young,was treated violently by her aunt and her cousins.Then she was sent to Lowood school and became a tutor at Mr.Rochester’s house after studying there for eight years.Jane gradually knew about the society which was led by men,found that she and Rochester had similar thoughts about the social condition.Jane kept discovering herself and found true love.She married Mr.Rochester and lived happily with him.

句子冗长，语义表达不清。对故事主要内容的介绍没有抓住主线，显得比较零散。

Jane Eyre was a typical person fighting for women’s rights and equal rights.She never surrendered to the aristocrats,never reconciled to the cruel reality.She was not afraid of the violence that her cousins gave her,but greatly criticized their unfair behavior.“I’m going to appoint myself as a missionary and tell those who are enslaved,especially women in your harem,that they are born free.”I hope more people can read this book and know more about the social background,so that they can also feel the power of Jane Eyre.

对故事的理解有偏差，女权运动和女性独立自主概念混淆。

结尾应该单独成段。

升格展示

During the Victorian era,women were almost controlled by men.Could women fight for themselves to gain respect and freedom? British writer Charlotte Bronte showed a struggling girl who lived during that time in the bookJane Eyre.

The book tells a story about Jane Eyre,a girl who lost her parents when she was young.She was treated violently by her aunt and her cousins.Then she stayed at Lowood school for eight years and became a tutor at Mr.Rochester’s house.Jane gradually knew that women didn’t have the same right as men in the society.Jane kept discovering herself and found true love.She married Mr.Rochester and lived happily with him.

Unlike the traditional girls,Jane Eyre was a girl who was independent and not easily compromised.She never surrendered to the aristocrats,never reconciled to the cruel reality.She was not afraid of the violence that her cousins gave her,but greatly criticized their unfair behavior.“I’m going to appoint myself as a missionary and tell those who are enslaved,especially women in your harem,that they are born free.”Jane was a girl who dared to fight for unfairness,and gained real happiness in the end.

After reading the book,I learned a lot about Jane.I hope more people can read this book and know more about the social background,so that they can feel the power of Jane Eyre.

综合点评

升格文用了“总—分—总”的结构。第一段从小说的创作背景引入，小作者用“struggling”一词概括出了女主角的经历；第二段介绍了小说的主要内容；第三段深入分析女主角的性格特点；最后一段提炼并升华了整本书的主题。

小作者引用书中的原话，更加直接鲜明地点出了人物的性格特点。小作者还使用了不少用心推敲后的词汇，如struggling，gradually，power等，为整篇习作增色不少。