把握故事冲突，成就完美续写

聂凌云

【问题导读】

读后续写的选材常传递正能量，涉及的话题颇为广泛，我们在阅读原文时，不但要找出文章的故事背景，而且要找到故事情节中的冲突或问题。故事中的冲突通常是故事的转折点，也是最紧张或扣人心弦的一部分。矛盾冲突在叙事类读后续写中尤为重要，它的解决是推动故事情节发展的主要动力。我们可以通过矛盾冲突的设定和解决更好地发散思维，在构思情节的时候做到既合情合理又妙趣横生；同时，联系原文已有的矛盾冲突以保证故事的完整性和连贯性。掌握矛盾冲突的主要形式也有利于我们在续写中打开新的思路，增强写好读后续写的能力以及语言综合运用的能力。

【名师导学】

故事冲突是读后续写的灵魂与核心，推动着整个故事的发展。故事冲突或是故事的危机点，或是关键时刻和转折点，推动着故事情节的发展。故事冲突包括两种主要形式：一是外部冲突，包括人与人、人与周围环境的矛盾；二是内部冲突，指的是特定环境下人物自身的矛盾。冲突带来紧迫感，将故事推向高潮。富有冲击力的结局不仅让主角成长，还让冲突得到解決，更让读者回味无穷。故事冲突大致分为以下三个方面：

1. 人与人的冲突：主要通过具有不同价值观的人与人之间的冲突实现。

2. 人与周围环境的冲突：洪水、飓风、野兽等来自大自然的威胁，作为人物角色必须克服的挑战。（这个方面的冲突可以通过环境描写来烘托人物形象，达到故事高潮）

3. 人与自我的冲突：人的性格因素和内心斗争。

【案例导引】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Alice and her family went on a camping trip along the seaside. Upon arrival， Dadcalled for a meeting. He announced，“There are lots of jobs to be done. It’s no fun on holidayif Mum and I do all the work， so I come up with this pocket money chart. In this way，

everyone has to do something， and you must do your own jobs every day！ If you do your jobswell， you get some extra pocket money！”

Looking at the chart， which had their names on it next to a list of jobs， the kidsfrowned （皱眉） at the idea. Unwillingly， they began to do their jobs. Alice washed up thedishes. Mike， the youngest brother， dried the dishes. Jeff， Alice’s twin brother， took theirdog for a walk.

The next day they went to the beach. After playing some time in the sea， they went tolook for shells along the beach. Suddenly， Alice found a strangelookingrock. She picked itup and showed it to Dad.“You’ve found a fossil （化石）！ It was once a shellfish and hasturned into a rock after millions of years！”Dad said happily. Greatly inspired， Alice continuedher search and determined to find a better one， but she failed. Darkness fell， and Alice hadto head back to the campsite with her family in disappointment. On the way back theystopped at a shop， where Alice spotted some amazing fossils！ But soon she found they weretoo expensive！

Back at the camp， Alice was still thinking of the amazing fossils in the shop. Suddenlyan idea occurred to her，“I’ll do everyones jobs and then I can get all the extra pocketmoney to buy a fossil！”The next morning， Alice offered to dry the dishes and walk the dog，which greatly pleased Mike and Jeff. But things didn’t go as Alice planned.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

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When Dad saw Alice walking the dog， he was confused.__________________________

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Later that morning， Mike and Jeff approached Alice when they found she was  unhappy.

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一、梳理故事背景

本文講述了爱丽丝和她的家人在海边露营，以及爱丽丝和她的兄弟们通过做一些工作来赚取零花钱的事情。这是一个关于规则和爱的故事。

二、原文的情节发展：线索和情绪

三、分析原文冲突

故事的冲突是爱丽丝在商店里发现了一些惊人但昂贵的化石，但是却没有足够的钱。本文的冲突形式属于外部冲突。这个冲突给爱丽丝带来的影响是Alice offered to dry the dishes and walk the dog。

四、把握故事冲突

1. 外部冲突：增加外部冲突是一种可以有效地达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来的紧迫感，将故事推向冲突的解决或崩塌。外部冲突的形式主要有人与人的冲突、人与周围环境的冲突。

除了以上两种外部冲突，我们还可以根据故事需要从增强时间紧急程度和增加额外障碍等角度来突出人物角色以及其必须克服困难才能达到的目标。

2. 内部冲突：放大角色的内心冲突（角色的内心斗争）或情感变化也有助于营造一个高度紧张和戏剧性的氛围。

参考范文

Paragraph 1：

When Dad saw Alice walking the dog， he was confused. Obviously， he was not happy

about this. When Alice came back， Dad asked why she was doing Jeff’s jobs. Alice stuttered，“I... I just want to earn all the extra pocket money to buy that fossil in the shop.”“I’msorry， Alice. I’m afraid you can’t. You all have to do the jobs—not just you. The point isthat we share the jobs，”Dad said. Hearing what Dad said， Alice was taken hold of by asurge of disappointment mixed with sadness. She thought it was unfair that Dad just ignoredher hard work. Feeling the cold wind from the sea， her heart sank as the decliningsun.

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Later that morning， Mike and Jeff approached Alice when they found she was unhappy.They presented a small box and urged her to open it. Alice was still gloomy about what happenedyesterday. But seeing her two brothers’ eyes twinkling with eagerness， she opened it.The moment she saw what was inside， Alice jumped up with joy. It was her brothers’ extrapocket money， with which she could afford one of the fossils she dreamed about！ She threwher arms around her brothers， tears welling up in her eyes. Jeff said，“Dad told us yourplan.”Looking at Dad’s smiling face under the fabulous blue sky， Alice realized that hewas trying to tell her that rules are rules， but love between family members never fails.

【模拟导练】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

I remember the first time I got on a horse. I was six years old and we were watching afriend of the family ride. My mom agreed to let me take a short ride with the friend and thatwas it！ I was crazy about horses. From then on， I drove my parents to buy a horse.

When I was eight years old， I had selective mutism （缄默症）. This is a rare childhooddisorder in which children stop speaking in certain social situations. I spoke normally tomy parents， my brother and certain other people， but was silent at school and in social situations.I went days， weeks， months without a sound at school.

I suffered silently through school until I was ten years old when one in a long string ofpsychologists had an idea. One day I was asked by the psychologist what I wanted morethan anything in the world. He explained that I was going to be given an opportunity towork for it. I couldn’t believe my good luck， but I could not answer. Finally， I was permitted to whisper the answer in my mother’s ear.“A horse”was all I could say.

I was to get a little horse， but I had to live up to my end of the bargain. I had a chartof weekly tasks I had to accomplish. I had to answer the phone five times per week， makefive phone calls to my friends， say one word to my teacher at school and the list went on.For a child with selective mutism， saying one word to someone can be like climbingMount Qomolangma.

I did everything that was asked of me and the day came when my parents found a localriding stable that had a perfect pony. His name was Sequoia， so perfect that I fell in lovewith him immediately. I boarded him and began taking lessons. It truly was a dream cometrue.

注意：續写词数应为150左右。

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Each week I could not wait for Saturday and my lesson.____________________________

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As I see it， horses give me the strength I lack._____________________________________

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【评价导思】

1. 请提取原文情节和人物设定。

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2. 请提取原文中的外部冲突和内部冲突。

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3. 请运用内部冲突和外部冲突写作，并对比你的文章和范文有哪些异同。

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