黄文娟
(湖南外贸职业学院,湖南 长沙 410114)
商务英语写作包括商务英语应用文写作和商务英语函电写作,是写作和商务的结合,因此,作者既要满足英语写作的语法、拼写、格式等基本要求,又要尽量满足商务活动中的礼仪要求,我们提倡在商务英语写作中要注重7C原则,即Courtesy(礼貌原则),Conciseness(简洁原则),Clarity(清晰原则),Completeness(完整原则),Correctness(正确原则),Concreteness(具体原则),Consideration(周到原则),就是为了能够使遣词造句尽可能地礼仪化,使作者能更为妥帖地达成商务文件的目的,从整体上提升整个商务文件的高级度。下面我们将从几个案例来分析7C原则的应用技巧。
1、A: I request your early reply.
B: I appreciate your early reply.
例1中的两个句子都是期待对方能够尽快给予回复,可能应用于邀请函、询盘等商务信函中,但从语气上来说,A句仿佛是在表达一种命令和要求,而B句则是在表达一种请求和感谢。无疑,B句让人更愿意接受并给出回复。由此可见,A句是违背了7C原则中的Courtesy礼貌原则。
2、A: Thank you for writing us for information about our new delivery service. We have been in business for six months, and our customers are finding the service is dependable and economical already. A brochure giving complete details about our service is enclosed. Please call us at 123-4567 should you have any additional questions.
B: A brochure giving complete details of our new delivery service is enclosed. Thank you for requesting this information. Should you have any additional questions, please call us at 123-4567.
例2中的两个句子是作为对方询盘的回复,在商务英语函电里又称为还盘。一般情况下,还盘要对对方提出的问题和要求进行回复,并提供有效联系方式,以便后续跟进,信息量比较大。但是商务活动中,双方往来信函都比较多,言简意赅才能让对方抓住重点,实现有效沟通。可以看出,A句的叙述里有一些非重点信息,冲淡了主题,违背了7C原则中的Conciseness简洁原则,不利于对方准确把握重点信息。
3、A: Today we shipped your order of Sept.10th, and you should be receiving it next week, but since you are a new customer, I want you to know that we allow an additional discount of 5% if you make your payment within 10 days.
B: Your order of Sept.10th was shipped today and should arrive next week. As a new customer, you will receive an additional 5% discount, for payment sent within 10 days.
例3的两个句子同样选自商务英语函电的撰写实例。我们知道,商务英语函电撰写需要做到措辞简洁明了、叙事清晰、信息完整等。例3中的B句采用了英文中惯用的被动语态,句子显得更地道,而A句以中式结构来展开叙述,显得含糊而拖沓,违背了7C原则中的Clarity清晰原则。
4、A: In order to celebrate the 1st anniversary of our Company, we are holding a celebration party at Tinghua Hotel on Saturday, July 25th.
B:In order to celebrate the 1st anniversary of our Company, we are holding a celebration party at Tinghua Hotel from 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. on Saturday, July 25th.
例4是一个取自商务英语应用文邀请函的案例,从划线部分可以看出,A句子交代了周年庆典的日期,却没有完整交代开始和结束的具体时间,信息不完整,表达不清楚,使客人无法准确得知具体而正确的信息,违反了7C中的Completeness完整原则。
5、A: The celebration party will be held at Sheraton Hotel, Conference Room A, at 7:00 p.m. on June 4th.
B: The celebration party will be held at Conference Room A, Sheraton Hotel, at 7:00 p.m. on June 4th.
英文写作和翻译,很多时候需要特别注意中英文语法习惯、排序方式的差异,例5中A句没有遵循英文地址从小到大的翻译习惯,违反了7C中的Correctness正确原则。
综上所述,商务英语应用文写作和函电写作不仅要考虑拼写、语法、格式等基本要求,更要考虑写作内容的完整、具体,表现形式的清晰、周到。在商务英语写作中巧妙运用7C原则,不仅能使行文更为流畅,质量更为上乘,而且能有效地避免商务活动中因措辞不当或表达不清引起的误会或歧义,让商务活动更为顺畅地开展。