本期点评名师
陈传光 男,中学高级教师,江苏省连云港市罗阳中学,从事教育教学工作近二十年。江苏省教育学会会员,连云港市优秀教育园丁,赣榆区优秀班主任。有多篇论文在各杂志期刊上发表并获奖。曾获全国中学生新课程英语语言能力竞赛优秀辅导教师一等奖。
Hello, my name is Zhu Jinxing. I am 13 years old. I come from Lianyungang. Now I am study① in Luoyang Middle School. I am in Class One, Grade Seven. Now I live in No. 303, Haiyang Road. There are four peoples② in my family. They are my grandfather, my parents and I. I am not very tall but③ my hair is short. Sometimes I wear glasses.
I have many hobbies like playing football, playing chess and reading books. I like maths best. I am good at English. I want being④ an English teacher in the future.
江蘇省连云港市罗阳中学七(1)班 朱金星
1. 优点:
本文是一篇介绍自己的文章。小作者在首段先介绍了自己的姓名、年龄、学校、家庭住址、家庭成员和外貌;接着阐述了自己的爱好和理想。整篇文章条理清晰、流畅精练,是值得同学们借鉴的一篇范文。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①study改为studying。now是现在进行时标志词,现在进行时的构成是:am/is/are+v.-ing。 ②peoples改为people。people是复数名词。
③but改为and。此处上下文是并列关系,不是转折关系。
④being改为to be。want to do sth.是固定结构,意为“想做某事”。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准,本文修改前可得20分。