蒋振朔
1.Introduction
The Old Man and the Sea is the most representative work of Ernest Hemingway,which has won him the 1954 Nobel Prize for literature.Because of its prominence and excellence,this short novel has been translated into more than 10 Chinese versions.In this essay,Zhang Ailings version and Hai Guans will be chosen to make a comparative analysis.Maybe there are many people who do not know Zhang is the first one to translate it into Chinese.For various reasons Zhangs version is not published in Mainland but only in Hong Kong and Taiwan.However,Hai Guans version has come out in 1956 a year later than Zhangs but has gained much more influence and popularity.Even though these two versions are published in 1950s,they are still the most excellent among many Chinese versions.This essay will explore how Zhang Ailing and Hai Guan use domestication and foreigniaztion these two different translating strategies to deal with this great work in their translating process.
2.A comparative analysis of the two versions in three levels
2.1 The word level.One striking characteristic of Ernest Hemingways writing style is his economy in use of words.He mostly depends on appropriate verbs and nouns to describe the plot and characters of the story.Adjectives and adverbs are less often used.Therefore when translating this work,translators have to make sure that they also use the correct and concise words to translate the original words.
Example (1):But after forty days without a fish the boys parents had told him that the old man was not definitely and finally salao,which was the worst form of unlucky.
Hais version:可是,過了四十天没有捉到一条鱼,孩子的爸妈就对他说,老头儿现在一定“背运”了(那是表示最倒霉的一个字眼)。
Zhangs version:但是四十天没捕到一条鱼,那男孩的父母就告诉他说这老头子确实一定是晦气星──那是一种最最走霉运的人。
In the novel Hemingway uses a sum of Spanish words in order to create the true atmosphere and emphasize the main characters Cuban identity.Noticing this,translators have to be careful to deal with the words,making sure that the exact and the unique meaning be transferred to Chinese.In here both Zhang and Hai adopt the domestication strategy using “背运” and “晦气星” to translate the Spanish word salao.Even though these two words have fully expressed the correct meaning of salao,readers lose the chance of knowing something particular about Cuba and the protagonist.
2.2 The sentence level.Besides his conciseness in use of words,Hemingway is also famous for his use of simple and short sentence.In the novel,complicated sentence structure is seldom seen.Let us say,the most complicated sentence is connected by the conjunction and.By employing this kind of sentence,Hemingway means to imply that the hero Santiago is a person of capability and determination.Therefore when translating the sentences,translators have to make their sentences concise and rhythmical,avoiding lengthy ones.
Example (2):He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.
Hais version:他是個独自在湾流里一只小船上打鱼的老头儿,他到那儿接连去了八十四天,一条鱼也没有捉到。
Zhangs version:他是个老头子,一个人划着一只小船在墨西哥湾大海流打鱼,而他已经有八十四天没有捕到一条鱼了。
This sentence is the first one of the novel and it totally represents Hemingways journalistic style.That is,he tries to use the least words to express the most profound meaning and provide much more information.From this sentence,we can see that it tells us that the whole background information about the story such as the identity of the protagonist,where the story happens and what kind of state the main character is in now.Also,the sentence lays the key tone for the whole novel by linking the two sentences of the same length with the word and,making readers feel the fluent rhythm and simplicity.Now let us look at the translated versions.Hai Guans sentence is a little complicated as the fact that it has a longer adjective modifier.Hai puts the attributive clause before the noun man,which is in accordance with the Chinese way of expression that adjectives are often placed in front of the modified core noun.However,Zhang divides the first sentence into two clauses,making the sentence simple and fluent.Compared to Zhangs version,Hais seems lengthy and loses the balance in the form and the rhythm of the original sentence.In effect,Zhangs version almost achieves the same effect and approaches the same style of the original text by adopting the foreignization strategy.
2.3 The style level.The Old Man and the Sea has a great influence on the wring style.In the novel Hemingway adopts the third-person narrative,making the description of the novel plain,objective and powerful.Therefore the style of the novel has to be transferred to the Chinese version to make readers enjoy the same feeling as they are reading the original text.Now let us look at how Zhang and Hai translate the most important sentence of the novel.
Example (3):“But man is not made for defeat”,he said.“A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”I am sorry that I killed the fish though,he thought.Now the bad time is coming and I do not even have the harpoon.The dentuso is cruel and able and strong and intelligent.But I was more intelligent than he was.Perhaps not,he thought.Perhaps I was only better armed.
Hais version:“可是人不是生来要给人家打败的”,他说。“人尽可以被毁灭,可是不会肯吃败仗的。”他想:“不过这条鱼给我弄死了,我倒是过意不去。现在倒霉的时刻就要来到,我连鱼叉也给丢啦。‘Dentuso这个东西,既残忍,又能干,既强壮,又聪明。可我比它更聪明。也许不吧,他想。也许我只是比它多了个武器吧。”
Zhangs version:“但是人不是为失败而生的”,他说:“一个男子汉可以被消灭,但是不能被打败。”不过,我很懊悔我杀了这条鱼,他想。现在倒霉的时候要来了,而我是一条鱼叉都没有。鲨鱼是残酷,能干,健壮,聪明的。但是我比它聪明些。也许不,他想。也许,我不过是武器比它好些。
First of all,we will notice that Hai Guan uses a lot of modal particles such as “吧”and “啦”,making the sentence seem lengthy.Relating the context underlined in the paragraph,the readers know that the hero is in a crisis but he chooses to face it,be tough with it and struggle with it.Actually,these modal particles used by Hai make the whole atmosphere weaker and readers cannot completely experience the same feeling.On the contrary,Zhang does not use some extra words to describe the main character and attempts to use some semantically and functionally equivalent words to give an adjective and vivid description of the scene.Futhermore,Hai uses “既..又..”twice to modify the adjectives but Zhang does not use any.Therefore Hais version seems lengthier than Zhangs.To sum up,Zhang version is much closer to the original text and is faithful to it because she is inclined to adopt the foreignization strategy.However,Hai tries to localize the novel and aims to be accepted by more Chinese readers in that period.
3.Conclusion
In this essay,an attempt is given to make a comparative analysis of the Hai Guan and Zhang Ailings versions of The Old Man and the Sea.Since the publication of Zhangs version in Hong Kong,the Chinese mainland readers seem to ignore her version and take the Hais version as the most influential.However,through contrasting and analyzing these two versions from the perspective of domestication and foreignization by means of choosing some noteworthy examples on the word,sentence structure and style levels,we find that Zhangs version is better than Hais version in recreating the style of the original text.The reason why this happens is that Zhang adopts mainly the foreignization strategy but Hai mainly employs the domestication strategy.Specifically,Zhangs version seems plain,simple and fluent but Hais seems lengthy and contains more adjectives,losing part of the unique journalistic style of the novel.In general,the two versions are still the best and considered the classic Chinese versions of The Old Man and the Sea.
References:
[1]Hemingway,Ernest.The Old Man and the Sea.Nanjing:Yilin Press,1995.Print.
[2]海鳴威著.海观译.老人与海.北京:商务印书馆,1978.
[3]海鸣威著.张爱玲译.老人与海.香港:今日世界出版社,1972.