如何让考场英语作文“亮”起来

王海江

笔者曾多次参加高考英语的写作阅卷工作，真正的英语高分作文已不仅仅局限于用简单的语言把内容说清楚，把意思表达完整，而是要让文章的句子表达得更加地道、流畅，能吸引评卷老师的眼球。因此，要想作文得高分，考生要善于灵活运用高级句式，充分掌握句子的润色技巧，才可让考场作文亮起来。

请认真对照并仔细体会以下各句的一般表达与高级表达，以便在写作中恰当运用高级表达，让自己的作文亮起来。

一、定语从句中的介词提前

1. [汉语] 布鲁斯是一名知识渊博的外教，我们可以从他身上学到很多东西。

[一般] Bruce is a foreign teacher with a wide range of knowledge. We can learn a lot from him.

[高级] Bruce is a foreign teacher with a wide range of knowledge， from whom we can learn a lot.

2. [汉语] 我们住在那个宿舍，前面有一条小溪。

[一般] We lived in that dormitory. There was a small brook in front of it.

[高级] We lived in that dormitory， in front of which there was a small brook.

二、使用非谓语动词

3. [汉语] 正在原来校址上重建的新校将用现代化的技术来装备。

[一般] Our new school， which is being rebuilt in the previous place， will be well equipped with modern technology.

[高级] Our new school， being rebuilt in the previous place， will be well equipped with modern technology.

4. [汉语] 当他听到那个令人兴奋的消息后，他整夜都睡不着。

[一般] When he heard the exciting news， he couldnt fall asleep overnight.

[高级] Hearing the exciting news， he couldnt fall asleep overnight.

5. [汉语] 在这场暴风雨中，我们发现很多房子遭到意想不到的严重毁坏。

[一般] In the terrible rainstorm， we found that many houses were badly damaged unexpectedly.

[高级] In the terrible rainstorm， we found many houses badly damaged unexpectedly.

三、使用with和without的复合结构

6. [汉语]由于期末考试临近，所有学生都在忙于复习。

[一般] As the final term is drawing near， all the students are occupied with their revision.

[高级] With the final term drawing near， all the students are occupied with their revision.

7. [汉语]老师进入教室，同学们都在看书。

[一般] The teacher entered the classroom， and all students are reading their books.

[高级] The teacher entered the classroom， with all students reading their books.

8. [汉语]所有作业都顺利完成后，他和同学一起去踢球了。

[一般] After all his homework was well finished， he went out to play football with his classmates.

[高级] With all his homework well finished， he went out to play football with his classmates.

9. [汉语] 由于睡觉前还有这么多工作要做，汤姆感到非常沮丧。

[一般] As Tom has a lot of work to do before going to bed， Tom feels much frustrated

[高级] With a lot of work to do before going to bed， Tom feels much frustrated.

10. [汉语] 她没再说什么话就离开了会议室。

[一般] She didnt speak a word any more， she left the meeting room.

[高级] Without a word more spoken， she left the meeting room.

四、妙用what引导的名词性从句

11. [汉语] 使我们感到高兴的是，他已被一所重点大学录取。

[一般] To our delight， he has been admitted to a key university.

[高级] What makes us delighted is that he has been admitted to a key university.

12. [汉语] 我们应该把学校学到的东西服务于社会。

[一般] We are expected to apply the things we have learnt at school to serving the society.

[高级] We are expected to apply what we have learned at school to serving the society.

五、应用倒装句

13. [汉语] 只有用这种可行的方法你才能够解决这个复杂的问题。

[一般] You can deal with the complicated problem only with this feasible method.

[高级] Only with this feasible method can you deal with the complicated problem.

14. [汉语] 只有通过这种方式他才能够逃脱大火。

[一般] He escaped from the big fire only by this means.

[高级] Only by this means can he escaped from the big fire.

15. [汉语] 尽管这个小孩的年龄很小，但他却认识很多名车。

[一般] Although the little boy is young， he knows a lot about many famous brand cars.

[高级] Young as the little boy is， he knows a lot about many famous brand cars.

六、使用双重否定

16. [汉语] 大家都认为去掉这些坏习惯比较困难。

[一般] Everybody believes that its more challenging to get rid of bad habits.

[高级] Nobody can deny that its more challenging to get rid of bad habits.

七、使用强调句

17. [汉语] 直到他严重生病，他才决心戒烟。

[一般] He was not determined to give up smoking until he got badly sick.

[高级] It was not until he got badly sick that he was determined to give up smoking.

18. [汉语] 从那个珍贵的生日礼物上，他才意识到母亲对自己的爱。

[一般] From the precious birthday present， he realized how his mother loved him.

[高级]It was from the precious birthday present that he realized how his mother loved him.

八、使用同位语（介绍某人或某物时使用）

19. [汉语] 李明是我以前的同学，他将要来参观他曾经学习过的地方。

[一般] Li Ming， who is my previous classmate， will pay a visit to where he ever studied.

[高级] Li Ming， my previous classmate， will pay a visit to where he ever studied.

20. [汉语] 世界七大奇观之一的长城吸引着世界各地的游客。

[一般] Great Wall， which is one of the seven wonders in the world， attracts visitors from all over the world.

[高级] Great Wall， one of the seven wonders in the world， attracts visitors from all over the world.

九、适当增加插入语

21. [汉语] 然而，玩游戏可以提高学生在紧急情况下的反应能力。

[一般] However， playing video games can increase students abilities of reaction to something emergent.

[高级] Playing video games， however， can increase students abilities of reaction to something emergent.

22. [汉语] 依我看，政府应该马上采取措施应对各种污染。

[一般] In my opinion， government is supposed to take immediate measures against pollution of all kinds.

[高级] Government， in my opinion， is supposed to take immediate measures against pollution of all kinds.

十、恰当使用被动句

23. [汉语] 上周五我们学校在学生中间进行了一场关于学生是否可做兼职工作的激烈辩论。

[一般] Our school held a fierce debate about whether students should do part-time jobs among the students last Friday.

[高级] A fierce debate about whether students should do part-time jobs was carried out among the students in our school last Friday.

24. [汉语] 下周学生会将要举办一场关于公共场合抽烟的危害性的讲座。

[一般] The Students Union will offer a lecture about the harm of smoking in public next week.

[高级] A lecture about the harm of smoking in public will be offered by Students Union next week.

以上各个例句建议背熟。唯有背熟，才可模仿套用，在写作中举一反三，灵活运用。

值得一提的是，上述虽然将其分为一般表达和高级表达，但在实际写作中，也不必过分追求，要尽量采用你最有把握的表达方式。再说，虽然用非谓语动词会比用定语从句子会更加简洁，但也不一定就更高级，就算是更高级，但同一篇短文中既有定语从句又有非谓语动词等更丰富的句式，也许会更好。

（作者单位：广东深圳市福田外国语高级中学）

责任编辑 蒋小青