做自己，你就是校园红人！

宋怡秋

哦，中学校园里，总有一些闪亮的身影。他们看起来很酷，自信满满，肆意张扬，被一群人前呼后拥，让人好生羡慕。为了成为这样的人，我费尽心思改变自己，却被朋友说我太做作，真绝望！不过，做个校园红人真的那么重要吗？想方设法讨别人喜欢又是为了什么？与其太过在意别人的评价，变得敏感、不自信，不如回归自身，充实自己，恣意地展现自我。那时你就会发现，其实那些校园红人并没特意做什么，只是在忠实地做自己而已。

Throughout my entire middle school experience， there was not one day where somebody in my grade wasn't "literally about to cry". This is normal， typical teenager behavior—obsessing， fretting1）， over-analyzing every small detail. What I know now as I'm entering high school is this： 98 percent of what we worried about in middle school never even mattered.

It turns out that whether or not the boy who sat to the right of you in 6th grade science thought you were pretty on a particular Tuesday in January did not change the course of your life. Neither did the girl you liked who never texted you back. Or whether or not you were invited to "that" party a month ago.

But as any middle schooler knows， when you are in the smack2） middle of this angst3）， it's hard to see beyond it. It's hard to see beyond the glossy4） seats of the popular kids' lunch table or the glisten5） in the smile of the person you like. I'm pretty sure I can say that you have pondered the thought of your social standing at some point in your life. I certainly have.

I came to Calhoun （a K-126） progressive school7） in New York City） in 5th grade with a desire for popularity. I thought popularity was the key to happiness. Or at least that's what the TV shows and movies promised for the popular girls with hair that bounced and the nerdy girls who ended up being popular due to some sort of magical makeover.

In my nave 5th grade mind I thought Calhoun was a place where there was no social hierarchy8）， or at least， if there was one， I could be on top of9） it. Like any new girl coming into a grade with people who have known each other their entire lives， I quickly realized I was wrong.

See， the thing is， during our middle school years， teachers and parents repeatedly tell us that if we question the status quo10） and listen to our hearts， we will be our best selves. And while that's true and we all strive to be our best selves， each of us still struggles with wanting to belong.

About a year ago， I sat in the passenger side of my mom's car， ranting11） about either not being well enough liked， not having enough friends or not being good enough （all of which are in the repertoire12） of things my mom has to hear me complain about ... on a daily basis）. It was about halfway through my diatribe13） that she decided to speak up. "I just think you are putting too much on the idea of popular kids."

"I am not，" I spat14） back and that's when she said it： "What do the popular kids have that you don't？"

By this point in the conversation， I had lost all of my ability to debate， so I just sat there in my seat and mumbled15）， "Stuff." What I should have said is that I don't know what the popular kids have that I don't， but it's something. We spend so much of middle school time trying to figure out what makes the "cool kids" cool.

Is it whether they wear Jordans or LeBrons， have straight or curly hair， or listen to indie16） or pop？ So maybe you go on a diet until you see chocolate that wants you. You grow a beard until you realize it looks patchy17）. You stop holding your parents' hand in public. The problem is that none of these things really work. The only thing accomplished by not holding your parents' hands is hurting their feelings. All growing a patchy beard does is make you look young， and all going on a diet does is make you feel fat.

So why do we do it？

Well， it's hard not to when that is the culture that surrounds us. We see it when a select group of mothers get lunch together weekly， or when fathers only shake certain father's hands. We see it in the cliques18） teachers form， but most importantly， we see in each other. It is apparent in every dirty look， hair flip and phony19） smile. We see it at the empty chairs that are miraculously full when we go to sit in them. It is overheard in the whispers about who is hot and who is not. We see it on Instagram when your best friend has more likes than you do.

What we realize now that middle school is over is that if the world depended on whether or not the boy who was sitting to the right of you in your 6th grade science thought you were pretty on a particular Tuesday in January， then maybe the fretting and worrying would be worth it. But the thing is， in the long-run， none of this stuff will matter. Because in 20 years from now， that particular Tuesday will be just one of a hundred Tuesdays where you hoped a boy thought you were pretty. This is why we need to take more from our time in middle school than just a wild goose chase20） of popularity.

Now as I'm about to enter high school， I hope to take with me my math teacher's capability to make math fun， or my science teacher's faith that we could all become scientists if we wanted to.

I want to model my seventh grade English teacher's ability to both see the kindness and draw it out of people and remember my 8th grade English teacher's dedication21） to get children to be aware of all the circles of social responsibility around them. I hope to take my history teacher's way of making history entertaining， enjoyable and educational. I hope to live with my dean's22） passion for change and my principal's belief that every single one of us will succeed as long as we remember to take charge， lead and listen to our hearts. Because in 20 years from now， I hope I won't remember my middle school years by what lunch table I sat at， but will remember it for Wednesday dance parties， the advisor who changed everything and the teachers that inspired me.

In 20 years from now， I hope we will remember Calhoun for every smile or laugh that was shared together， every song that was sung and every time we truly loved a friend.

The truth is， popular kids have a quality about them that is mystifying23）. It's not a pair of sneakers or a certain lip color. It can't be simmered down24） to "21 Ways to Be Popular" or "Popularity in 19 Days". Popularity in its simplest definition is accepting who you are and flaunting25） it. So go out there guys， and flaunt it.

在我整个初中阶段，我们年级里每天都会有个同学“简直要哭出来了”。这是正常又典型的青少年行为——心事重重，烦躁不安，对每个小细节都想得太多。如今我就要升入高中了，到现在我才懂得：初中时让我们烦恼的那些事当中有98%甚至从来就不重要。

事实证明，六年级科学课上坐在你右边的男生在1月的某个星期二是否觉得你漂亮并没有改变你的人生。还有那个你喜欢她但她却从不回你短信的女孩，或者一个月前你有没有获邀参加“那场”派对，这些都没有改变你的人生。

但是，正如任何一位初中生都知道的那样，当你恰好身处这些忧虑之中，你很难不会当局者迷。你很难不去关注校园红人的午餐桌旁那充满虚荣的座位，或是你喜欢的人那灿烂的笑容。我敢肯定我可以这样说：你在生活中的某个时刻一定思考过自己在同学中的地位问题。我当然也想过。

五年级时，我抱着成为校园红人的愿望来到卡尔洪（纽约市一所实行进步教育法的基础教育学校）。当时，我认为人气高是开启幸福之门的钥匙。或者至少电视节目和电影就保证那些头发富有弹性的人气女孩以及施以某种神奇化妆术后人气大增的书呆子女孩都会幸福。

我五年级时想法幼稚，认为卡尔洪是一个没有社会等级差别的地方，或者至少就算有，我也完全能应付。就像一个年级里所有新来的女生一样，当我来到这个其他同学从小就彼此认识的年级时，我很快意识到自己想错了。

瞧，问题是，在读初中的那些年，老师和家长一遍又一遍地告诉我们，我们如果质疑现状，并听从自己的内心，就能成为最好的自己。虽然这话很对，我们也都在努力去做最好的自己，但我们每个人仍然在对归属感的渴望之中挣扎。

大约一年前，我坐在妈妈车里的副驾席上，大喊大叫地说着我不够讨人喜欢啦、我的朋友不够多啦、我做得还不够好啦之类的话（妈妈不得不每天听我抱怨这些）。在我言辞激烈地说到大约一半的时候，她决定表态了：“我只是觉得你在要当校园红人这件事上花的心思太多了。”

“我没有。”我咬牙切齿地反驳道。这时妈妈说了一句话：“那些受欢迎的孩子身上有什么东西是你所不具备的吗？”

谈话至此，我已经失去了辩驳的能力，所以就只是坐在座位上咕哝着：“就那些东西呗。”其实我当时本该说的是，我不知道自己比起那些受欢迎的孩子欠缺了什么，但肯定有欠缺。我们在初中时费了那么多时间，就是想弄明白那些“酷孩子”到底为什么酷。

这和他们穿乔丹牌球鞋还是勒布朗牌球鞋，留直发还是卷发，听独立摇滚还是流行音乐有关系吗？那么，或许当你也开始节食的时候，会看到巧克力在向你招手。你蓄起胡须，却发现胡子长得稀稀拉拉。在公开场合，你不再拉着父母的手。问题是，这些做法没有一样会真正见效。不再拉父母的手所达到的唯一效果就是让父母伤心。蓄起一副稀稀拉拉的胡须只会让你显得稚嫩。而节食只会让你觉得自己很胖。

那么，我们为什么还要这么做？

嗯，当我们置身于这样的文化中时，我们很难不去这么做。当某个特定圈子的妈妈们每周共进一次午餐，或是爸爸们只会跟某些爸爸握手时，我们会看到这种文化；从那些拉帮结派的老师们身上我们也会看到这种文化；但最重要的是，从彼此身上我们也能看到这种文化。它清晰地显现在每一副轻蔑的表情、每一次甩头发的动作和每一个虚伪的笑容里。从原本空着却在我们想坐下时忽然奇迹般地坐满了人的椅子上，我们能看到它；从我们无意中听到别人议论谁热辣谁不热辣的低语中，我们能看到它；当你的好友在Instagram上获得的点赞数比你多时，我们也能看到它。

我们初中毕业了，因此我们认识到，如果这个世界是由六年级的科学课上坐在你右边的男生在1月的某个星期二是否觉得你漂亮决定的，那么或许这些烦恼和忧虑也还算值得。但问题是，从长远来看，所有这一切都毫不重要。因为从现在开始的20年后，那个星期二将只不过是你希望有个男生觉得你漂亮的100个星期二中的一个。正因如此，比起一味徒劳地追求人气，我们更需要从初中时光里收获更多东西。

在即将步入高中校门之际，我希望能够带着数学老师那让数学变得有趣的能力，或是能带着科学老师的那种信念——坚信我们只要想成为科学家，就都能成为科学家。

我希望以我七年级的英语老师为榜样，既能看到别人的善意，又能激发这种善意。我希望记住我八年级的英语老师如何致力于让同学们了解身边所有的社会责任圈子。我希望能像历史老师那样，让历史变得生动有趣，让学生乐在其中，且富有教育意义。我希望像教务长那样对变革充满热情，希望像校长那样，坚信只要我们记得承担责任、掌握主导权并倾听自己的心声，我们每一个人就都能成功。因为20年后，我希望自己不是因为坐在哪张餐桌旁吃午餐而记住了中学时光，而是因为那些周三开的舞会、那位改变了一切的指导老师以及那些激励过我的老师们。

20年后，我希望我们会因为共同分享过的每一次欢笑、唱过的每一首歌以及和朋友度过的每一个真情时刻而记住卡尔洪。

事实上，那些校园红人的身上有一种神秘的特质。这跟穿哪个牌子的球鞋和涂什么颜色的唇彩无关。你没法把它提炼成“21招让你受欢迎”或“19天变得有人气”这样的东西。所谓受欢迎，最简单的定义就是接受自己并恣意地展现自我。所以，朋友们，大胆地走出去，恣意地展现自我吧！

1. fret [fret] vi. 苦恼；烦恼；发愁

2. smack [sm?k] adv. 正好；恰好

3. angst [??st] n. （对时事的）忧虑；疑惧

4. glossy [?ɡl?si] adj. [贬]虚饰的；浮华的

5. glisten [?ɡl?sn] n. 闪光，闪耀

6. K-12： K指kindergarten，12指12年级，K-12指包括幼儿园、小学到高中在内的初等教育和中等教育。

7. progressive school： 进步学校，是美国实行进步教育法的学校。进步教育是从19世纪晚期开始的一场教育运动，主要是针对19世纪传统欧美教育提出的，反对校园中存在社会阶级。

8. hierarchy [?ha??rɑ?ki] n. 等级制度

9. on top of： 完全掌握；对……驾轻就熟

10. status quo： 请参见P17注释6

11. rant [r?nt] vi. 大喊大叫

12. repertoire [?rep?twɑ?（r）] n. 保留节目

13. diatribe [?da??tra?b] n. 抨击；谴责

14. spit [sp?t] vi. （咬牙切齿地）愤愤说出

15. mumble [?m?mbl] vt. 咕哝；含糊地低声说

16. indie [??ndi] n. 独立制作的唱片。这里指独立摇滚（indie rock），是一种摇滚风格，脱胎于20世纪80年代的地下摇滚和另类音乐，它强调乐队需要不受干扰地按照自己的思想制作音乐，具有极度鲜明的个性特色，因此很少被主流音乐所接受。

17. patchy [?p?t?i] adj. 分布不均衡的；散落的

18. clique [kli?k] n. [贬]派系；小集团

19. phony [?f??ni] adj. 虚伪的；做作的

20. wild goose chase： （根据错误信息进行的）徒劳寻找，白费力气的追求

21. dedication [?ded??ke??n] n. 献身（精神）；致力

22. dean [di?n] n. （大学或学院的）院长；教务长

23. mystifying [?m?st?fa???] adj. 神秘的

24. simmer down： 浓缩

25. flaunt [fl??nt] vt. 炫耀；夸耀