对《到灯塔去》中完美婚姻的分析

摘要：在小说到灯塔去中，伍尔夫从女性角度描述了生活，婚姻，工作，思想以及之间的关系。本文关注了伍尔夫对幸福婚姻的理解，以及丈夫和妻子怎样才能创造美满的婚姻。根据伍尔夫的观点，幸福的婚姻要建立在爱与理解最重要的是夫妻双方要保有各自独立的空间和自由。

关键词：婚姻；独立；私密空间

Abstract： In the Novel To the Lighthouse， Virginia Woolf exposes a rather complicated world about life， marriage， work， thought and relationship among these from a special woman’s point view. This article focuses on Woolf’s attitudes towards the happy marriage， and for the husband and wife how to create a happy one. According to Woolf’s opinion， a happy marriage should be based on love， reverence， support and certain private space.

Key Words： marriage； private space； independence

Virginian Woolf was praised as the greatest novelists of the 20th century， one of the pioneers of modern literature trends； She served on the English language innovations in novel methods of trying to stream of consciousness writing， trying to depict the heart in people's subconscious. In her writing， she expresses her own understanding towards marriage and life， especially women’s role and self-consciousness in that society.

In part one， The window， Woolf describes Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay’s happy and satisfying marriage on the basis of deep their deep love. There is a detail shows that Mr. Ramsay seized her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it with an intensity that brought tears to her eyes， and he quickly dropped it， which reveals the deep love between the couple. The series of gentle actions expresses his profound affection. In Mrs. Ramsay’s eyes， her husband beauty was so great； he was so awfully handsome， that she couldn’t dismiss him. Marriage life is real and trivial. After getting married， a couple must face the reality and the once enthusiastic love seems gradually faded due to the distraction of the daily life. It seems so， but it is still there and can be felt. It is true for Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay. In their daily life， they know how to deal with common and trivial things， and they play different roles. For example， Mrs. Ramsay worries about the fifty pounds for the green house and children’s problems. On such occasions， Mr. Ramsay plays a very husband’s role and he can keep his wife from worries and make her feel safe and warm. When she strolled along with her husband， she felt that particular source of worry had been placed， so her husband turn up as a quiet and safe harbor for her to rest after her surge of emotions. He can， naturally， replace her worries and soothe her instantly. He convinces her of his value as a husband.

Comparing the husband with the wife， generally speaking， the husband is the braver and the more confident one， but sometimes so brave a man also needs the support from his wife. It was sympathy he wanted， to be assured of his genius. He hopes that his wife can bring him respect， confidence and enthusiasm towards life. That is what he wants from marriage life. And Mrs. Ramsay does play her role well. She makes the house full of warmth and vigor and fills his blank properly. There is such a detailed description to prove this. She was flashing her needles， confident， upright， she created drawing-room and kitchen set them all aglow； all her efforts make sure that her husband can go in and out， enjoy himself. So mutual love and proper roles in marriage are basic factors for a happy marriage.

As for a harmonious marriage， such factors as love， reverence， support are essential， but only these can not be enough. One man and one woman get married and a family life start. Some people think one should present everything about him or her to the other one without any reserve. But the truth is that， the husband and the wife， to some extent， are still two independent individuals. They should keep their relative independence， and private space. Love can’t make a couple become one person. Each one must have his or her private room. And they， therefore， should respect each other’s privacy and keep a distance from if， especially when it refers to the spiritual world. Otherwise， the subtle mysteries and beauty of one’s privacy will be disturbed and destroyed， which certainly will do harm to his or her relationship with the other one， since on one can keep calm when one’s own treasure of privacy is trodden by others. The result is obvious： both will be hurt， so a desirable marriage， to some degree， lies in the respect for each other’s independence and privacy. Observing the rule well， The Ramsays lead a peaceful and happy life. Though Mrs. Ramsay is only a common housewife， she ha her own understanding of life. “She took a look at life， for she had a clear sense of it there， something real， something private， which she shared neither with her children nor wither her husband.” She can show disappointment at her husband’s silence when she expects he should say something. When Mrs. Ramsay loses in her own world， Mr. Ramsay could not speak to her. He could not interrupt her… she was aloof from him now in her beauty， in her sadness. He would let her be. An sometimes Mrs. Ramsay also meets such occasions： he did not want to be interrupted-that was clear. Each one should have their one private world， then the distance between them will attract and lead them appreciate each other. Since they cannot become one， then their mutual attraction will grow and the love lasts. Sometimes， the mysterious unknown of the other is hateful but it is attractive and beneficial. Based on their mutual love， trust， tolerance and acceptance， the respect for the other’s certain distance and independence will certainly add colors to one’s marriage life.

On the whole， the article deals with the roles that are performed by husband and wife in marriage and the respect that should be paid to each other’s independence and privacy. And then an ideal marriage can be possibly achieved. Some feminist critics criticized Mr. Ramsay’s egotism and Mrs. Ramsay’s weakness. No one can deny this， and even Woolf herself also expressed such kind of opinion， but at the same time no one can deny that their marriage is a satisfying one， either.

Bibliography：

[1]Woolf，Virginia To the Lighthouse， Wordsworth Editions Ltd， 1994.

[2]Freedman， Ralf. Virginia Woolf： Revaluation and Contunuity. Berkeley， Los Angeles： University Of California Fress， 1975.

[3] Mepham， John. Virginia Woolf： Criticism in Focus. New York： Saint， Martin’s Press， Inc.， 1992

（作者单位：日照职业技术学院）