An article of argument

杨立军

题目 20世纪50年代以来，动物克隆不断取得进展。1996年，克隆羊“多莉”出世，然后野牛、猫、狗等也先后被克隆。动物克隆是科学进步的表现，具有很大的医学价值。但是，克隆动物仍有诸多问题，因此引起了许多争议。你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心。请根据所学知识，以An article of argument为题写一篇120字左右的短文陈述自己的观点。

策划 我们可以从五个方面来着手写这篇文章。

1. 文体特征：从标题An article of argument中可以看出，应根据所学的克隆知识写一篇辩论性短文，即论说文。因此，必须做到“先提出观点，然后逐步论证，最后归纳总结，有效结论”。

2. 人称特征：素材要求写出“你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心”，可能会用到第一人称，但是不宜多用，否则会显得过于主观，应以第三人称为主。

3. 时态特征：观点陈述部分宜用现在时态，列举实例部分宜用过去时态，而推理部分应用将来时态。

4. 写作重点：题目要求写出“你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心”，所以文章应该以陈述“动物克隆已经带来和可能带来的问题”为主。

5. 亮点策划：遵循议论文“立论、论证、结论”的三段式规律；总论点和分论点均要明确，论证过程要清晰有序，佐证有力；有目的地选择克隆现有动物、克隆灭绝的动物和克隆人三种情况存在的问题，使自己的观点更有说服力；用好连词，使过渡自然；“动物克隆”是一个科学话题，注意专业词汇和表达方式的使用，语言不能过于口语化；因“动物克隆”目前还处于探讨争论阶段，会有一些推理陈述，用好虚拟语气，会增强表达效果。

习作1

With the development of cloning technology， more and more animals have been successfully cloned， which is a sign of high-technology and very beneficial to us human beings， especially to curing terrible diseases.

But each coin has its two sides. As far as I am concerned， there also exist some problems. First of all， cloned animals may get ill and even die easily. That is why Dolly the sheep just lived half as long. Secondly， it is of little use to cloning extinct animals， because there isnt a natural habitat they need. What is worse， there are moral problems because cloning technology may be used to produce human beings. Its really difficult for us to tell the relationship between the cloned persons and the original ones， and some evil leaders may clone themselves to attain their ambitions.

In a word， cloning animals may not only break the balance of nature， but also destroy the harmony of society. Valuable as cloning is， but we must make laws to prevent it from being abused.

亮点

1. 全文分段合理，层次分明，过渡自然，详略得当；语言流畅，表达专业、地道；“立论、论证、结论”清晰有序，佐证有力；三方面分论点和例证科学而具有代表性，说服力很强。

2. But each coin has its two sides. As far as I am concerned， there also exist some problems. 是一个很好地过渡句，既有格言，又恰如其分地使用了两个好句型：as far as I am concerned（反映个人主观看法），there also exist（体现客观存在）。

3. 第一段既是背景交代，也客观体现出克隆动物的好处；first of all， secondly， what is worse， in a word贯穿全文，体现出清晰的思路。使用what is worse， 而不用thirdly， 效果更佳，说明这是一个更令人担忧的问题。

4. 最后一段的总结很好：we must make laws to prevent it from being abused作为结束语，层次很高；且prevent it from being abused既是好短语，又能体现作者的结论是理性和科学的。

瑕疵

1. it is of little use to cloning extinct animals中，it是形式主语，to cloning应改为to clone（不定式短语为真正的主语）。

2. Valuable as cloning is， but we must make laws to prevent it from being abused.句中的but应去掉，因为前面使用了as（尽管）。

习作2

Nowadays， animal-cloning has become a hot topic. Opinions are different from person to person. Im afraid that I am object to animal-cloning and my reasons are as follows.

Firstly， animal-cloning is just a reproduction， with the animals bad character copied. That is why Dolly the sheep just lived about six and a half years， half of the length of life of the original one. Secondly， it would be useless to clone any extinct animals if we couldnt provide the natural habitat， which is of essential importance for the cloned animals to live in. Besides， animal-cloning would arouse some moral problems if cloning technology were used to produce human beings， and some evil leaders might clone themselves to do something illegal.

All in all， there remain to be many problems to be solved. We need to develop our legal system to limit animal-cloning， otherwise it might bring us much trouble even great damage.

亮点

1. 全文结构合理，观点明确，论证有力。

2. 第一段明确亮出自己“不支持克隆动物”的观点，文中的has become a hot topic与opinions are different from person to person呼应得较好，也为提出自己的观点埋下伏笔。但是如能用一句话肯定克隆动物的益处，会显得更加严谨。

3. 文中恰当地使用了虚拟语气：如it would be useless to clone any extinct animals if we couldnt provide the natural habitat，又如besides， animal-cloning would arouse some moral problems if cloning technology were used to produce human beings。

瑕疵

1. Im afraid that I am object to animal-cloning and my reasons are as follows. 句中的am应去掉，因为object to是一个动词短语。

2. All in all， there remain to be many problems to be solved. 句中的to be应去掉，因为there remain就相当于there are。

范文

Since 1950s， more and more animals have been successfully cloned， including frogs， mice， cats and so on. That marks a fast development of science and means serious diseases would be cured. But in my point of view， there are also some problems.

Firstly， animal cloning usually means a dead end and weakens the species. Dolly the sheep was “middle-aged” when she was born because her DNA came from a middle-aged “mother”. Cloning also means less variety of species， so the animals with the same DNA may not be able to resist illness and may die out.

Secondly， it would be useless to clone any extinct animals if there wouldnt be the natural habitat， which is the most important. We cannot clone animals that became extinct 10，000 years ago， let alone clone dinosaurs that disappeared 65，000，000 years ago.

What is worse， animal-cloning would arouse some moral problems if cloning technology were used to produce human beings， and some evil leaders might clone themselves to do something illegal.

All in all， animal-cloning means not only much benefit but also great trouble. We need to develop our legal system to prevent it from being abused.