翻译擂台

上期回顾

大自然从来都不吝啬于给予，绚丽缤纷的自然风光，深深吸引着我们，随时带给我们美妙和兴奋。

白洋淀是华北平原最大的淡水湖泊，这里风光秀美，资源丰富，被誉为“北国江南”、“华北明珠”。

白洋淀最吸引人的当属水乡风光，而且随季节不同景色各异：春季芦苇丛生，满湖青翠；夏季荷花初绽，风光旖旎；秋季芦花纷飞，鱼鸭满淀；冬季湖面冰封，莹润如玉。著名的景点有鸳鸯岛、民族岛、荷花淀、九龙潭等。在鸳鸯岛上，你可以乘坐缆车，从空中俯瞰碧波荡漾的水面。荷花淀则是名副其实的荷花的世界，春天，小小的荷苞在水中若隐若现，一到夏季，荷花淀里一派生气勃勃，千亩荷花竞相争艳，满淀飘香，景致之美，简直难以言喻。

北京杨玥

The Baiyang Lake is the largest freshwater lake in the North China Plain. With its exceptional beauty and abound resources, this land is crowned as the 'Grace Southern China in the North' and the 'Bright North China Pearl'. Here，water brings this area its most enchanting views which put on various displays in different seasons: the lake is lush green with the flourishing reed in spring; the newly blooming water-lilies present a charming and beautiful summer; then, with the autumn reed catkins dancing with the wind, the lake turns into a paradise for the drakes, ducks and fish; winter is a time to appreciate the jady icebound lake which is so glittering and translucent. Many of Baiyang Lake's famous attractions are specific, such as the Mandarin Duck Island, the Ethnic Group Island, the Water-lily Lake and the Nine Dragon Pool, etc. In the Mandarin Duck Island, you can take a ride in a cable car, overlooking the blue water surface dancing and sparkling in the sunlight. The Water-lily Lake is a delightful place for the water-lily indeed and in name. In spring, the little buds of the water-lilies peek through the water, while in summer, thousands of mou of water-lilies compete each other to bloom. The lake, sweet with the flowers, takes on a very lively and exuberant scene. If there was any word which means more beautiful than "indescribable beauty" for the vista of the Water-lily Lake, then I would use that.

外编点评：译得不错，让人读起来赏心悦目，运用了大量的词汇，但是在措辞和用法方面也有一些问题。大多数自然景色不用定冠词来修饰，一般说成Baiyang Lake（白洋淀）或者Mount Everest（珠穆朗玛峰）。当翻译一些汉语词组时，常常将名词转换为形容词，或者将词组的结构重新调整，在英语中实现相同的效果，所以应译成“the Bright Pearl of North China”或者“the grace of Southern China in the north”。此外，abound是动词，文中应该使用形容词形式abundant。Jade一词让人疑惑，应该说成jade-like（玉石般的）。最后，一般take on 不与 scene连用，可将scene改为view。

广东 杨斯毅

With beautiful landscapes and aboundant resources, Baiyangdian, famously known as 'Northern Jiangnan' and 'North China Pearl', is the largest freshwater lake in the plain of North China. What most attracts tourists in Baiyangdian Lake is its waterland scenery which varies with change of seasons. In Spring, the reed shoots come out and the whole lake is full of green. In Summer, the lotus flowers bloom slightly, adding a splendid view to the lake. In Autumn, numerous reed catkins fly into the sky while fishes and ducks swarm into the lake. In winter, boundless ice on the lake is just like jade, shinny and delicate. The well-known scenic spots here include the island of Mandarin Duck, the Mingzhu Amusement Park, the Lotus World and Nine-Dragon Pool, etc. By siting in a cable car, you can take a bird's eye view at the green and rippling water of the lake. In Lotus World, as what its name means, comes virtually a world of lotus flowers. Small lotus bracts float gleamingly on the water in Springtime, but when it comes to summer, the Lotus World immediately overflows with vigour, for thousands of acres of lotus flowers would strive to present their beauty, with fragrance of locuses spreading across the whole lake. In a word, the beauty of the lake, is simply more than words can explain.

外编点评：翻得不错，但是后半部分稍逊色一些。注意介词的使用，例如，应该是attracts tourists to、take a look at或have a view of。另外，可以直接说成when summer comes，不需要使用被动语态，此句中也不应使用“would”。“As what its name means”用法错误，可以改为as its name suggests或lives up to its name。另外需要注意拼写错误，应该是abundant、lotuses、shiny。最后需要注意的是尽量不要使用“in a word”进行总结，可以改为in summary、to conclude或者in brief。

北京 谭思敏

Baiyangdian is the largest freshwater lake in the plain of North China. The scenery is splendid and the resource are rich, which is called 'the south of River' and 'bright pearl' of North China. The most attractive scenery in Baiyangdian is located in a region of rivers and lakes. Besides, it shows different scenery with changing seasons. In spring, the edge of the lake is fringed with reeds. In summer, the lotus flowers bloom with an enchanting scene. In autumn, reed catkins fly all over with being full of ducks and fish in the lake. In winter, the lake froze over with shining and white as a jade. The famous scenery include 'the island of escript duck', 'the island of nation', 'the lake of lotus' 'the lake of nine dragons' and so on. On the 'island of escript duck' you could take the cable car, looking down the ripples of blue water from the sky. 'The lake of lotus' is really the world of lotus flower. In the spring, the tiny lotus buds appear indistinctly in the water. In the summer, the lake is full of life with the flowers fully opening, the fragrance spreading all over beautiful scenery. How indescribable it is!

外编点评：“白洋淀”最好译成Baiyang Lake，而不是Baiyangdian，后者更便于外国人理解。但是也没有固定规则，视情况而定，例如，很多译者将“五台山”译作Wutaishan而不是Wutai Mountain。译文其他部分很不错，尤其是对四季景色的处理，将每季景色简化但使人印象深刻。但是译文使用with过多，如可以说成creating an enchanting scene 、the lake freezes over shining as white as jade。选用形容词而不是短语这点也非常好，用indistinctly（朦胧地）来代替对荷苞的字面描写；结尾的indescribable用得也很到位。

下期题目

北京，文化古都，时尚名城，美景目不暇接，美食口齿生香，几个世纪以来，北京以她的

古韵新律不断吸引着来世界各地的人们。

胡同是北京的象征，它们绵长而优雅，像密密麻麻的血管一样，遍布在这个城市的每个角落；它们是一种不可复刻的文化，千姿百态，或敞亮，或幽深，却都保存着最老旧的生活形态和最原始的京味儿，浓得化不开；它们历经几个世纪的风雨，见证数百年的历史，平静地看着北京城的崛起、沉沦与新生，自己却像耄耋老人般，在时代车轮的碾轧中渐渐消逝。面对现代文明的淹没，我们也许无力留住什么，但我们至少能做一名忠实的记录者，用心体会、用镜头留存这个城市最草根的历史片段——只有感受是真实的，也只有记忆是永恒的。

有奖擂台

注：为了达到点评效果，本刊未对获奖译文进行改动。

参与方式：

1. 直接登陆双语时代官网（www.bbtime.com.cn）于双语时代子版块 “最新杂志互动活动”在线投稿；

2. 发邮件至contribution@bilingualtime.com

翻译擂台“翻译赢取积分活动”已经开始，从2008年11月起只要译文被选中刊登，译者将获赠当期杂志一本、50个积分以及价值一百圆的上海交通卡！