Young Star Award

I’m a student from Class 1， Grade 9. Our school has held an activity about “How will I get the young star award”recently.

My classmate Li Ming is one of the young stars. He is a top student of ourclass. He’s a tall boy and good at sports， especially basketball. He is always readyhelping淤others. He often takes part in different activities， especially for charity.

Last year， he organized basketball matches to raise money to于the childrenfrom poor areas. So far he has raised more than one thousand yuan but盂he’llsend the money to the children from poor areas soon.

What a kind-hearted student Li Ming is！ His deeds have been spokenhighly of by his teachers. Li Ming sets a good example for every student in ourschool. We should learn from him.

优点：

本文结构清晰、行文连贯、表达流畅，文中多样的句式和自然的过渡性词语为文章增色不少。

需要修改的地方院

①helping 改为to help。be ready to do sth.意为“准备做某事”。

②to 改为for。raise money for...意为“为……筹钱”。

③but 改为and。此处上下文是并列关系，不是转折关系，应用并列连词。

评分院

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25 分的评分标准，本文修改前可得22 分。