Final Days1余命

I guess it’s about time， I thought， and decided to go ahead with the preparations. First I contacted the workers to dispose of all my belongings.

时候大概到了，我思忖着，并决意着手料理起来。首先是去联系工人，处置我所有的个人物品。

“Are you making plans to die？” a young man asked.

“您计划去死了吗？”一个年轻人问道。

“Yes. Either tomorrow or the day after.”

“没错。要么明天，要么后天。”

“Really？ My girlfriend and I are thinking of dying together next month or so.”

“真的呀？我和女友也考虑下个月左右一起去死呢。”

Many couples in their twenties or thirties chose to die together.

有不少二三十岁的伴侣们选择一起去死。

“How nice，” I said automatically.

“真不错啊。”我随随便便地应和着。

“May I ask what setting you have in mind？ Disneyland， I imagine. Or a meadow of flowers？”

“能不能问一下，您设想的是哪种场景？我想是迪士尼吧。或者是铺满鲜花的草地？”

“No， I have a more natural death in mind.”

“不，我设想的是一个更加自然的死法。”

“Oh wow， nice. A natural death. That’s what my sister did， too.”

“哇噢，妙啊。自然死亡。我姐姐也选了这种死法呢。”

The young men went about their work chatting cheerfully until there was nothing left in my apartment.

几个年轻人一边干活，一边开心地闲聊，直到公寓里什么也不剩。

“Well， that’s us done. Have a good death！”

“看，都弄完了。祝您死得愉快！”

I picked up my backpack， the only item left in the empty place， and went outside.

我拿起背包——留在空荡荡的寓所里的最后一件物事——然后出了门。

About 100 years had passed since medicine had advanced so far that nobody died any more. Nobody aged either， and even if you died in an accident or were murdered by someone， technology was such that you could immediately be resuscitated. It was feared that the population would explode， but surprisingly that hadn’t happened. As it was， once we thought we were ready to die we could do so in whatever way we liked. Bookstores were full of volumes on ways to die： Perfect for Women！ 100 Cute Ways to Die; Die Like a Man！ How to Leave an Impression in Death; The Top Ten Ways for Lovers to Die☆Illustrated. I myself chose one titled Let’s Die Naturally！ Super Deaths for Adults & the Best Spots.

大约100年前，医学已经发展到了人不再死亡的程度。人也不再衰老，即便死于意外或遭到谋杀，技术也能让人马上复苏。曾有人担心人口会爆炸，然而意想不到的是，这种情况并没有发生。事实上，人们一旦认为自己已经准备好，就可以用任何自己喜欢的方式死去。书店里充斥着关于各种死法的书：《最适合女性！一百种可爱死法》《像男子汉一样去死！让人印象深刻的死法》《恋人十大死法☆图解》。我自己选的书题为：《让我们自然地死去！成年人的超级死法及最佳地点》。

The right time was different for different people. There were some who had reached two hundred years old and intended to keep going， while some children died when they were only ten. I’m thirty-six now and I don’t know if that’s early or late—I just somehow started to feel that it was time. My hunch was probably right， though， since the population remained steady at about the right number without increasing or decreasing.

合适的时间因人而异。有人活了两百岁还想继续活，而有些孩子才十岁就死去了。我现在三十六岁，也不知道算早还是算晚——只是莫名地开始觉得时候到了。我的直觉倒很可能没错，毕竟人口一直大体稳定在合适的数字上，没有增加也没有减少。

After flicking through the book and getting a pretty good idea of what I wanted， I went to city hall and filled in a do-not-resuscitate order to ensure that even if my body were found， no measures would be taken to revive me. Once that was done， I dealt with other practical matters such as what to do with the little savings I had， and obtained my death permit. The formalities were more complicated than I’d anticipated， and by the time I finally finished and went outside again it was already dark.

我把这本书翻了翻，搞清楚自己到底要什么之后，就去市政厅填写了一份“不复苏令”，以确保即使有人发现我的尸体，也不会对我采取任何复活措施。这些手续办完后，我又处理了其他一些实际事项，比如处置我那微薄的积蓄，以及拿到死亡许可。手续比我预想的要麻烦，当我终于办完手续走出来时，天已经黑了。

I presented my death permit at the pharmacy and asked for a relatively strong， fast-acting drug so that I wouldn’t suffer.

在药店里，我先出示了死亡许可，然后要求买一种药性较强、作用较快的药物，以便到时候不会痛苦。

“You take care of yourself， now. Have a good death！” the young woman pharmacist told me， throwing in some vitamin tablets free of charge.

“现在，您就得自己保重了啊。祝您死得愉快！”年轻的女药剂师一边叮嘱，一边饶给我一些维生素片。

I got onto the night train and headed for the location described in the book. It was a quiet place deep in the mountains. In the winter it was a busy ski resort， but in this season the only people here had come to die.

我坐上夜班火车，前往书里描述的地点。那是群山深处一个宁静的地方。冬天，这里是热闹的滑雪胜地，但在这个季节，这里只有来寻死的人。

I alighted at the appointed station， and headed off into the mountains on foot in search of a quiet place. On my way I passed by a couple stabbing each other with knives. A lot of couples chose killing each other as their way to die. I skirted around them， taking care not to get in their way. After walking along the mountain road for a couple of hours， I finally came across a deserted spot with a lovely view that looked like a nice place to die. Following the instructions in the book， I dug a hole with the spade. Maybe someone else had been here before me， for the earth was soft and it was easier than I’d expected.

在指定的车站下车后，我徒步进山，寻找一个安静的地方。途中，我从一对用刀互刺的伴侣身旁走过。很多伴侣们都选择互相杀死对方作为死亡方式。我小心翼翼地绕行，生怕妨碍了他们。沿着山路走了几个小时后，我终于找到一个人迹罕至、风景优美的地方，看起来是个不错的死所。按书上的说明，我用铲子挖了一个洞。也许在我之前有人来过这里，因为土很松，挖土的活儿比我想象的要轻松。

When the hole was ready， I lay down inside it and drank the mineral water containing the drug I’d been given. Then， while still conscious， I began covering myself with earth. I couldn’t do it as thoroughly as someone else would have done it for me， but still I managed to get myself more or less buried in the ground. Breathing through a short hose connected to the surface， enveloped in the warmth of the earth， I closed my eyes. Before long the drug would take effect and I would die buried there in the ground. Returning to the earth like this was currently a popular way to die.

洞穴挖好，我躺了进去，喝下了含有开来药物的矿泉水。然后，在还有意识的情况下，我开始往自己身上盖土。没人帮忙，我一个人没法盖得那么到位，但还是设法把自己多少埋进了土里。由一根连接到地表的短软管维持呼吸，包裹在大地的温暖中，我闭上了眼睛。不用多久，药效就会发作，而我就会死掉，埋在地底。如此回归大地，是一种当下流行的死法。

I didn’t want people gossiping about me after I was dead， laughing about the way I died or commenting on how I was so plain in life but then chose a flashy death causing problems for others， or saying that I should have known better than to die like that， and so I wanted to go as quietly as possible， a classy kind of death.

我不想在死后有人说闲话，嘲笑我的死法；或者揶揄我生时平平无奇，却选了个惹眼的死法来给别人添麻烦；或者议论说我本不该那样死云云。所以，我想尽可能安静地离世，这是一种得体的死法。

Before medical care had become so advanced， death had apparently been something that came unpredictably. A drug would be the best way， I thought， given that I would have to bury myself. I wanted my death to be as unobtrusive as possible.

在医疗如此发达之前，死亡显然是一件无法预料的事。我想，由于我必须自己掩埋自己，药物是最好的办法。我希望死得尽量不引人注目。

Suddenly my head grew heavy， and I knew I was dying. Wouldn’t it be great if natural deaths were restored in the next world， I thought， squeezing my eyes shut， and then abruptly lost consciousness.

脑袋突然变得很沉，我知道我就要死了。如果来世能恢复自然死亡，那该多好啊！我一边想，一边闭紧双眼，随后骤然丧失了意识。