Going Out of Your Comfort Zone for the Child’s Growth为了孩子成长要走出舒适区

玛丽亚·里兹万/文　刘伟/译

One of my friends was struggling to conceive a baby. After three years of marriage， she became a mother of an adorable baby boy. From the day she knew she was pregnant， she was too cautious. She did everything in her scope to save that pregnancy so that it could go smoothly and she could have a healthy pregnancy. During her pregnancy days， the doctor diagnosed her with a low-lying placenta. Therefore， they advised her to rest because she was told that if she exerted much， she could have heavy bleeding. However， those days passed gracefully， and she became a mother soon.

我的一个朋友原来一直在努力备孕。婚后三年，她生下一个可爱的男宝宝，如愿成为母亲。从知道自己怀孕的那一天起，她就万分谨慎。她竭尽所能地采取保护措施，以期顺利度过孕期，并且全程保持健康。孕期经医生诊断，她存在胎盘低置的情况。大家建议她多休息，因为医生告诉她，如果过度劳累，可能会大出血。不过，她平稳地度过了怀孕的日子，不久就成为人母。

After her son was born， she was too possessive and extra caring for him. It was hard for her to let him walk because she dreaded he might fall. She became used to going the extra mile to save her kid from any harm. Moreover， she would overthink a ride on the swing or even play with other kids could harm him physically. Deep inside， she was petrified of losing her child so much that she became an obstacle to his growth. Then she was told to let him grow. She had to go out of her comfort zone for that and struggled with herself to let him grow.

儿子出生后，她占有欲太强，对孩子异常关心。她很难放手让孩子自己走路，因为她害怕他会摔倒。她习惯了加倍努力，为的就是不让孩子受到任何伤害。她还思虑过度，担心荡秋千或者和其他孩子一起玩耍，会对儿子的身体造成伤害。她在内心深处唯恐失去孩子，以至于她自己反倒成为孩子成长的障碍。于是，我们告诉她，要放手让孩子成长。为此，她必须走出自己的舒适区，在自我挣扎中放手让孩子成长。

The nature of parents varies from each other. No two parents are the same. Therefore， all have different coping mechanisms. Some do not even give a damn about whatever their kid does the whole day. But some are so damn overprotective that they even bathe their toddlers with boiled water.

父母的性格各不相同。世上没有相同的父母。因此，他们对待孩子也各有应对机制。有些人根本不在乎孩子一整天都在做什么，而有些人实在是保护过度，甚至用白开水给蹒跚学步的孩子洗澡。

As parents， it is essential to maintain a balance between being too careless and too careful. At every step of life， always think about two things：

作為父母，必须在过于粗心和过于小心之间找到平衡点。在人生的每一步，都要考虑两件事：

If I behave like this， what consequences will it bring to my child？

如果我这样做，会给我的孩子带来什么后果？

If I behave like this， how will it affect my child’s growth？

如果我这样做，会对孩子的成长产生什么影响？

For parents， not the same things work for all. There is no such formula that works perfectly， and that tells that this is fine and that is not. To let your child walk on their own， you have to leave their hand. Initially， it must be terrifying that they might fall， but for their growth， and betterment， you have to go out of your comfort zone.

同样的事情并非对所有父母都有用。世界上没有完美公式能确切指出这样好，那样不好。要让你的孩子自己走路，你必须舍得松手。起初，他们可能会摔倒，你一定会因此感到恐惧，但为了他们的成长和进步，你必须走出你的舒适区。

In various stages of life， you would never want to get separated from your child even if they are grown up. But for their betterment， you will have to do this. In all cases， you must think about how a certain move will affect their lives and make them stand out shortly.

在人生的不同階段，你绝对不想和自己的孩子分开，即使他们长大了也是如此。但为了他们的进步，你必须舍得分开。在任何情况下，你都必须考虑某个举动将如何影响他们的生活，并使他们很快脱颖而出。

I have seen some mothers sobbing on the first day of their child’s school. When asked， they tell you they have never got separated ever from their child. That makes sense. They need to be counseled and treated with empathy. But that does not mean that the kid would not go to school.

我见过一些在孩子上学第一天哭泣的母亲。问及原因，她们会说自己从未与孩子分开过。这就说得通了。她们需要有人提供建议，需要有人设身处地地理解她们。然而，这并不意味着孩子不能去上学。

As parents， you have to kill your comfort zone for the sake of your child’s growth. That might not be easy for you at all. But you need to train yourself for it. Always think why you are behaving like this， and if you do not let your child grow right now， what consequences they will have to bear in the future because of this decision you took today.

作为父母，为了孩子的成长，你必须舍弃自己的舒适区。这对你来说可能一点都不容易，但你需要为此训练自己。你要时时思考自己为什么要这样做。还要想想，如果你现在不让孩子成长，他们将来会因为你今天的决定而承担什么后果。

（译者单位：上海电子信息职业技术学院）