On Coming Home1论回家

阿尔弗雷德·乔治·加德纳/文　朱建迅/译

A friend of mine found himself the other day on the platform of a country station in the south of Scotland near the sea-coast. A middle-aged couple were the only people visible， and they sat together on the single form provided for waiting passengers. They did not speak， but just sat and gazed at the rails， at the opposite platform， at the fields beyond， at the clouds above， at anything， in fact， within the range of vision. My friend went and sat beside them to wait for his train. Presently another person， a woman， appeared， and advancing to the other two， addressed them. She wondered what train the couple were waiting for. Was their holiday over？

我的一位朋友前几日来到苏格兰南部海滨的一个乡间火车站。月台上能见到的人只有一对中年夫妻，坐在专为旅客候车而设的唯一一张长板凳上。他们不说话，只是坐在那儿，注视着铁轨、对面的月台、远处的田野，以及天上的云朵。确切地说，他们注视着视野内的一切。我的朋友走过去，坐在他俩身边等候自己的火车。不久，出现了另一个人，一个女人，径直走向那对夫妻，跟他们搭话。她想知道他们在等哪趟车。他们的假期结束了吗？

“Oh no，” said the woman. “We’ve another week yet.”

“呃，没有。”妻子说，“我们还有一星期呢。”

“Then maybe ye’re waiting for a friend？” queried the other.

“那你们大概是在等一个朋友？”那个女人问道。

“No，” replied the woman. “We’re just sitting. We like to come here in the evening and see the trains come in and out. It’s a change， and it makes us think of home. Eh，” she said， with a sudden fervour that spoke of inward agonies， “you do miss your home comforts on a holiday.”

“不是。”妻子答道，“我们就是坐坐。我们喜欢黄昏时分来这儿坐坐，瞧一列列火车进站出站。这是一种变化，让我们想起了家。唉。”她说着说着，陡生一股热情，透出内心的惆怅，“在外度假时，你保准怀念自家的舒适。”

I fancy this excellent woman， sitting on the platform to watch the trains go homewards， and yearning for the day to come when she will take a seat in one of them， disclosed a secret which many of us share， but few of us have the courage to confess. She was bored by her holiday. It was her annual Purgatory2， her time of exile by the alien waters of Babylon3. There she sat while the commonplaces of her home life， her comfortable bed， the mysteries of her larder， the gossip of her neighbours， the dusting of the front parlour， the trials of shopping， her good man’s going and returning， the mending of the children’s stockings， and all the little somethings and nothings that made up her daily round， assumed a glamour and a pathos that familiarity had deadened. She had to go away from home to discover it again. She had to get out of her rut in order to find that she could not be happy anywhere else. Then she could say with Touchstone4， “So this is the forest of Arden5： well， when I was at home I was in a better place.”

這位出色的妻子坐在月台上，眼瞅着一列列火车驶向家乡，盼望着坐上其中一列的日子尽早到来。依我看，她透露了我们许多人共有的一个秘密，只是很少有人敢于承认罢了。她厌倦了自己的假期生活。这是她每年一度必吃的苦头，是她在异域他乡孤独漂泊的时间。她坐在那儿，而普普通通的家庭生活、舒适的床铺、食橱秘藏的美味、邻居们的闲聊、前客厅的掸扫、购物的辛劳、丈夫的外出和归来、孩子们袜子的缝补，以及所有日常的琐事杂务，其中自有一种魅力、一种感伤的情调，但都因熟悉而渐渐淡薄。她得离家外出，以便重新发现那种魅力与情调。她得脱离自己日常的轨迹，以便意识到自己在其他任何地方都不可能幸福。然后，她就能言之凿凿地说：“这里是亚登森林——原来此前居家的时候，我是待在一个更加舒心的地方啊。”

It does not follow that her holiday was a failure. It was a most successful holiday. The main purpose of a holiday is to make us homesick. We go to the forest of Arden in order that we may be reconciled to No. 14， Beula Avenue， Peckham. We sit and throw stones on the beach in the sunshine until we get sick of doing nothing in particular， and dream of the 8：32 from Tooting as the children of Israel dreamed of the fat pastures of Canaan. We climb the Jungfrau6 and explore the solitudes of the glaciers so that we can recover the rapture of Clapham Common7 and the felicities of Hampstead Heath8. We endure the dreary formalities of hotel life and the petty larcenies of the boarding-house in order that we may enjoy with renewed zest the ease and liberties of our own fireside.

这并不是说她的假期过得不舒心。她度过了一个无比美妙的假期。离家度假的主要目的，就是诱发我们的思乡之情。我们前往亚登森林，以便与佩卡姆区比尤拉街14号的生活和解。我们坐在洒满阳光的海滩上，扔出一颗颗石子，直到我们厌倦了无所事事，想起8点32分发自图廷的火车，恰似以色列的孩子们向往迦南的膏腴之地。我们爬上少女峰，领略茫茫冰川之寂寥，如此便能重新体会克拉彭公地的迷人魅力，以及汉普斯特德荒野的欢悦氛围。我们忍受刻板枯燥的旅馆生活，以及家庭客栈里小偷小摸的行径，这样自能带着恢复如初的热情，享受自家火炉旁的轻松自在。

In short， we go on a holiday for the pleasure of coming back. The humiliating truth is， of course， providentially9 concealed from us. If it were not， we should stay at home and never see it afresh through the pleasant medium of distance and separation. But no experience of past disillusions dims the glow of the holiday emotion. I have no doubt that the couple on the platform set out from Auld Reekie10 with the delight of children let out from school. We all know the feeling. “Behold … Beyond …” cried young Ruskin11 when the distant vision of the snowy battlements of the Oberland12 first burst on his astonished eyes. “Behold … Beyond，” we cry as we pile up the luggage and start on the happy pilgrimage. And the emotion is worth having， even though we know it will end in a sigh of relief when we reach No. 14， Beulah Avenue again and sink into the familiar armchair and mow the bit of lawn that has grown shaggy in our absence， and exchange reminiscences with No. 13 over the fence， and feel the pleasant web of habit enveloping us once more.

簡而言之，我们外出度假是为了尽享归来的喜悦。当然，这一令人汗颜的真相凑巧不为我们所知。若非如此，我们就该待在家里，而不会欣然借助距离与分别重新认识家的意义。然而，往昔梦幻破灭的经历不会减弱度假的热情。月台上的那对夫妻从“老烟城”动身之际，肯定像放学的孩童那般喜悦。我们都知道那种情绪。“看哪……看远方……”年轻的拉斯金大声呼喊着，那是远处伯尔尼高地上积雪覆盖的城垛第一次骤然出现在他惊讶的眼前。“看哪……看远方！”我们呼喊着，整理好行装，踏上幸福的旅途。这股热情值得拥有，尽管我们都知道，待我们返回比尤拉街14号，一屁股坐进熟悉的扶手椅，修剪我们外出期间变得芜杂的一小片草坪，隔着栅栏与13号邻居闲聊往事，感到怡人的惯常之网再度笼罩全身，那股热情将随着一声如释重负的叹息而终结。

It is when the holiday is over that we begin to enjoy it. Then we come， as Gissing13 says， under the law that wills that the day must die before we can enjoy to the full its light and odour. We are never， by the perversity of our nature， quite so happy as we think we were after the event had become a memory， and no doubt by next spring the couple who sat on the station platform watching the homeward-bound trains with longing eyes will recall the gay holiday they had without a suspicion that they welcomed the end of it as children welcome release from school. The illusion will only mean that they are a little sick of home again， and that they need the violent medicine of a holiday to make them homesick once more.

假期結束之时，我们才开始对它眷恋难舍。然后，如吉辛所言，我们受制于以下法则，即我们未能尽享其光亮与气息，而白昼已尽。我们由着自己乖张的本性，当时绝不会有假期成为回忆以后感到的那般愉悦。那对夫妻曾坐在火车站的月台上，眼巴巴地瞅着一列列火车驶向家乡。当然，翌年春天，他们将回忆两人度过的幸福假期，毫不怀疑他们当时盼望着假期及早结束，恰似孩童巴望着早点放学。他们此刻陷入幻想，仅仅意味着他们又有点想家了，需要借助假期这一剂猛药，重新勾起自己的思乡之情。

（译者单位：扬州大学）

1本文选自阿尔弗雷德·乔治·加德纳的随笔集《道道畦沟》（Many Furrows）。

2 purgatory（罗马天主教教义中的）炼狱；受难的状态。  3原义为“流放到巴比伦异域之水边”。巴比伦为古巴比伦王国首都，后泛指流放地。  4 touchstone 试金石；标准。  5 the forest of Arden亚登森林，莎士比亚喜剧《皆大欢喜》（As You Like It）故事的发生地，一个远离尘世、充满梦幻色彩的地方。

6少女峰位于瑞士伯尔尼高地，是联合国教科文组织认定的世界自然遗产“少女峰-阿莱奇冰川-比奇峰地区”的一部分。  7克拉彭公地，又译作“克拉彭公园”，伦敦市内的一块大型绿地。  8 汉普斯特德荒野，伦敦市内一个古老的大型公园。  9 providentially天缘巧合地。

10 Auld Reekie 老烟城，英国工业革命时期苏格兰首府爱丁堡的绰号，意指该地污染严重。  11此处指约翰·拉斯金（John Ruskin，1819—1900），英国艺术评论家，著有《近代画家》（Modern Painters）、《建筑的七盏灯》（The Seven Lamps of Architecture）等。  12此处指瑞士风景如画的伯尔尼高地（Bernese Oberland）。  13此处指乔治·吉辛（George Gissing，1857—1903），英国作家，著有长篇小说《新格鲁布街》（New Grub Street）、散文集《四季随笔》（The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft）等。

Quotes About Coming Home

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

—George Augustus Moore

The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave， and it feels even better to come back.

—Wendy Wunder

Maybe that’s the best part of going away for a vacation—coming home again.

—Madeleine L’Engle

Maybe you had to leave in order to miss a place， maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.

—Jodi Picoult

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

—Nelson Mandela