刘芸
(1)
“I went to the dentist this morning.”
“Does your tooth still hurt?”
“I dont know—the dentist kept it.”
(2)
Physics teacher: Is there any difference between lightning and electricity?
Smart Alec: Yes—you dont have to pay for lightning.
(3)
Spike: Why is your dog running around in circles?
Mike: Hes a watchdog, and hes winding himself.
(4)
The office manager looked towards his secretary who was absorbed in painting her fingernails.
“Miss Bright,” he said, “Id like to compliment you on your work—but when are you going to do any?”
(5)
Andy: Whats the best thing to take when you are run down?
Sandy: The number of the car that hit you.
(6)
Keith: Dont you think I sing with feeling?
Maisie: No—if you had any feeling you wouldnt sing.
(7)
Goofy Gus had a rope hanging from a tree outside his window.
“Whats that for?” asked his brother.
“Its my weather forecaster,” said Gus. “When it moves, its windy, and when its wet, its raining.”
(8)
Mrs Grabbit: Darling, the woman next door has a coat exactly like mine.
Mr Grabbit: I suppose thats a hint that you want a new coat?
Mrs Grabbit: Well, it would be cheaper than moving house.