巧用修辞，妙写概要——浙江高考新题型写作指导

浙江

一、引语

概要写作作为浙江高考英语新题型，与读后续写并列二选一。概要写作提供一篇350 词以内的短文，要求考生基于该短文写出一篇60词左右的内容概要。就概要写作《考试说明》指出，阅卷时主要考虑：对原文要点的理解和呈现情况；应用语法结构和词汇的准确性；上下文的连贯性；对各要点表达的独立性情况。我们可将其总结为“四个性”：要点的全面性和独立性，语言的准确性和连贯性。可从目前学生的概要写作作品来看，还存在要点不全或不准、照搬原文、语言水平较低等不足之处。

修辞手法是增强语言表达效果的一门艺术，研究增强语言表达效果的规律，解决语言好不好的问题。笔者尝试指导学生巧用修辞，帮助学生妙写概要，现呈现如下。

二、巧用修辞，妙写概要

（一）Climax（层递）：逻辑清晰

英语修辞格Climax 就是几个成分相同的词、短语或者从句平行并列，使其按照一定的顺序逐层依次递进，如按照大小、轻重、深浅、多少等顺序。这种修辞可以使语言排列整齐，逻辑清晰，气势贯通，从而起到加强语势的作用。Climax 要符合三个条件：第一，并列的成分要有三项以上；第二，并列的成分所表达的事物要有一定的内在联系；第三，所表达的事物要有一个递增或递减的层次。概要写作的短文多为议论文或说明文，其中不乏并列要点。我们可以分析各要点之间的层递关系，采用Climax 修辞表达出来，进行概括，以使语言简洁、逻辑明晰。例如短文一（根据短文要点和本文需要，笔者对原文进行了改动或节选，下同）：

Every year,especially during the spring and early summer,the lives of many young animals are disrupted.People may attempt to“save”these animals,and more often than not,the mother is nearby.

Young rabbits found at a nest site do not need to be rescued.If you’ve kicked to open a nest,just replace the top of the nest,and leave.

Young birds are sometimes found on the ground near a nest.When this happens,the best thing to do is to put the bird carefully back into the nest.

When young raccoons are found out alone,it is likely that they are merely exploring and their mother is nearby.

If you find a young fawn lying alone,leave it there.The mother comes back several times each day to nurse the fawn.If you’ve already picked the fawn up and brought it home,put it back.

短文在第一段总起指出：通常人们想去“营救”动物，但其妈妈就在附近，无需人为“营救”。接下来，短文以兔子、幼鸟、浣熊和小鹿为例进行说明。通过分析这几个例子，我们不难发现其从“家”到“外”，从动到静的层递关系：兔子在“家”里被发现，幼鸟在“家”附近被发现，浣熊独自在外活动时被发现，小鹿独自躺地时被发现。我们可以依照其层递关系，对兔子、幼鸟、浣熊和小鹿的例子采用Climax 的修辞进行概括：

The passage mainly tells us that many animals are disrupted during the spring and early summer.（要点1）So the passage tells us how to prevent them from being bothered,

（要点2）including replacing the top of the nest, and leaving when opening the nest; putting the bird back into the nest when seeing a bird on the ground; leaving it alone when finding young raccoons out alone; leaving it there when finding a fawn lying alone.（要点3）

（二）Tautology（同义反复）：避免重复

英语修辞格Tautology 是指用意义相同或者相近的词或者短语，替代已经使用过的某个词或短语，形成意义相同或相近的词或短语的反复使用。概要写作要求60词左右，在词数不多的写作中使用Tautology 修辞，可以避免重复用词，形成一篇词汇丰富的短文。例如短文二：

The majority of people say that by daydreaming we waste our time and energy in something that is nothing less than unproductive things.But many medical studies have showed something different.They’ve stressed on the fact that daydreaming works wonders on our imagination power,creativity and situation-handling technique.In fact,many problems can be easily solved if we daydream.

The topmost benefit of daydreaming is that your mood gets the right improvement.You get happiness from it and this happiness changes into a source of energy that helps you in working in a good mood.

Many psychologists have said that people who daydream tend to have a sharper memory.Since daydreaming activates the nerves of your brain,you tend to have higher attentiveness and your ability to remember things develop.

When you daydream,you automatically imagine yourself as your heart says and therefore,you get to know yourself better.

短文围绕“daydreaming”（做白日梦）展开，重点阐述了做白日梦的好处。文章每一段都有自己的主题句，要点清晰。在写作时，我们要注意语言的转化，即尽量少使用原文语句；同时，要尽量避免重复使用词语。短文阐述做白日梦对于情绪、记忆力和自我了解的好处时，分别使用了“help”“develop”和“get to know”三个动词。我们可以对这三个动词使用Tautology 修辞，既进行原语言的转化，又避免词语重复：

Most people regard daydreaming as a waste of time and energy.（要点1）However,that’s not the case.Many medical studies have found that daydreaming has a lot of benefits.First of all,daydreaming can keep you in a good mood.（要点2）What’s more,it helps improve your memory.（要点3）Last but not least,daydreaming assists you to know yourself better.（要点4）

（三）Anastrophe（倒置）：强调作用

英语修辞格Anastrophe 又叫Hyperbaton，是指为了修辞的目的，改变正常的主、谓、宾语序或者状语、定语的位置。语序改变，基本意思不变，但语序的改变有其特定的意义与作用，会在附带意义或感情色彩上有所差别。在英语中运用Anastrophe 修辞手法，主要有以下几个作用：表示强调或侧重，追求语言的侧重美；更好地承接上文，追求语言的联系美；保持语句的平衡，追求语言的平衡美；协调音韵，追求语言的音韵美。通常，为了表示强调或侧重会运用Anastrophe 修辞，改变正常语序。在概要写作中，对于总—分结构的文章，我们可以对总起观点运用Anastrophe 修辞，进行强调，以加深印象。例如短文三：

Winter sports can help you burn calories,increase your cardiovascular fitness,and strengthen muscles.Being outdoors and getting exercise are great for your mental health.

Winter is a great time to experiment with new sports.

Whatever sports you choose,basic skills are needed and don’t rely on a friend for instruction.

Play safely by figuring out what special equipment and safety gear you’ll need.

Don’t head out onto the slopes or into remote country areas alone.Always go with a buddy and tell a friend what time you plan on returning.

短文三是一篇说明文，文章第一段提出主题：冬季运动不仅能健身，还能益心。我们可以使用not only...but also...语句结构，并对其使用Anastrophe 修辞，改变语序，对冬季运动的作用给予强调：

Not only can winter sports strengthen your physical body,but also benefit your mental health.（要点1）While there are many new sports in winter you can experiment with,（要点2）you should know some basic skills,（要点3）and don’t rely on a friend for instruction.（要点4）To play safely,you should figure out the special equipment and safety gear you’ll need,（要点5）and shouldn’t go out alone to faraway places.（要点6）

（四）Antithesis（对照）：形成反差

Antithesis 一词源于希腊语，是“相反，相对”的意思。Antithesis 是指故意把相反或相对的词、短语或从句用平行或对称的结构排列起来，以表达相反或相对的意思，使得两层概念互相对照，形成反差，以加强表达效果。如果文章中恰好有相对的概念，我们可以巧妙使用Antithesis修辞，形成反差，简洁地概括文章内容。例如短文四：

During all kinds of holidays,millions of people will buy gifts for loved ones,which is great—except that tons of those people will make the same glaring mistake,and buy the wrong gift.What’s going on?

Gift buying has become a deceivingly selfish pursuit.We don’t actually look for things people want to receive.Instead,and to many of our gifts’ detriments,we tend to look for things that we want to give.It’s a subtle,but pretty significant problem.

The discrepancy seems to come from a simple misplaced belief that thoughtful presents are the best presents.They are not.In fact,they might just be the worst presents.The more thought you put into a present,the more likely you are to stray from buying what the person you’re buying the present for actually wants.

If that’s too callous,or impersonal,there’s another helpful rule of thumb.Instead of buying restrictive gifts,like gift cards for specific stores,buy gifts that allow for flexibility,like gift cards that can be used more broadly (or,better yet,cash).

短文四是一篇议论文，按照提出问题、分析问题和解决问题的顺序组织文章。文章第一段提出问题：许多人会买错礼物；第二、三段分析问题：购买礼物者往往只考虑自己的感受而忽略接受礼物者的感受，考虑越多则越容易买错；最后一段提出解决问题的方法：礼物的灵活性和多用性是解决问题的关键。我们可以就其中相对的概念，采用Antithesis 修辞，简要地概括文章内容，形成反差：

Although many people will buy gifts during holidays,some of them may buy the wrong gifts.（要点1）They buy what they want to give,instead of what the recipients require.（要点2）The thoughtful presents might be the worst present,and we should stop it.（要点3） Instead of buying restrictive gifts,we are supposed to buy flexible ones—versatility is the key to better gift giving.（要点4）

（五）Oxymoron（矛盾修辞法）：加强意义

Oxymoron 一词源于希腊语，原意是敏锐的愚蠢。Oxymoron 是指并列使用两个在意义上相互排斥或正好相反的词语，以表达复杂的思想情感或意味深长的寓意。这种修辞格能深刻地揭示事物的矛盾统一，起到加强意义、加深印象的作用。在概要写作中使用Oxymoron 的修辞手法，能简单直入地揭示事物的矛盾本质，起到表达简洁、意义深刻之功效。例如短文五：

Parents should think twice before rewarding their children’s good behavior with sweets,according to a leading nutritionist.

Professor Susan Jebb,of Oxford University,says family attitudes should change as part of a wider strategy on tackling obesity—and there should be an alternative to the“easy option”of handing out sweets to youngsters.

Speaking to the Sunday Express,Prof Jebb said,“Unless you instill good eating habits from a young age,it is likely that children will grow up to become overweight adults.But it is very difficult to persuade parents who see their children,who are a healthy weight,of the risks ahead.Unlike with smoking,where the benefits of giving up are obvious with evidence showing that every single cigarette shortens your life,the same cannot be said for every single biscuit you eat.”

She also welcomed last week’s comments by David Cameron that Britain’s obesity crisis should be treated as seriously as smoking and that a tax on sugary drinks could be back on the agenda.

短文五简要介绍了Professor Susan Jebb 敦促家长如何正确对待孩子的肥胖症，其中最后一个要点：家长不能用给孩子糖果的方法进行奖励，因为会有肥胖的风险。我们可以使用Oxymoron 的修辞手法进行表达：

Parents are told to stop giving their children sweets as rewards for good behavior in latest bid,for it is a kind of sweet crisis.

（六）Parallelism（平行）：语气连贯

Parallelism 是一种在语句结构上常用的修辞手法，是指用相同或相似的结构来表达两个或两个以上的相同、相似或相关的事物。其所表达的几个事物在重要性上是相等的，在意义上是平行的。使用这种修辞手法，可以突出语言的意义，明晰概念，使语气更加连贯。对于短文中的平行概念，我们可以使用Parallelism 修辞进行概要写作，使之文气贯通，读起来朗朗上口。例如短文六：

Is there a way to turn back the clock on your age? A new study says yes.Exercise can make you younger.At least it can lower your fitness age—that is the measure of how well your body works.

A study of athletes in the National Senior Games found that their fitness age was more than 20 years younger than their chronological age.The games took place in the Midwestern state of Minnesota.

Tony Diamond took part in the games.Every morning he went to a local park and walked fast for an hour.Then,the retired navy captain ran for an hour.

Two or three times a week,he went to a gym for muscle training.Mr.Diamond won three medals at the 2015 National Senior Games.

“My current age is 86 years old,and my fitness age is 44.I think I have such a good number because I do a lot of exercise during my life.I have been exercising since I was a little boy.”

Helen White is a basketball player.She also teaches the sport to senior groups.And she plays pickleball.She won a sliver medal in pickleball at the 2013 National Senior Games.

“I’m 62 years old and my fitness results showed that I was 32 years.”

Ms.White and Mr.Diamond are some of the 5 000 senior Games participants who took part in the fitness age study.

短文六是一篇议论文，主要表达了“锻炼降低体能年龄”的观点，并以两个人物举例说明：他们都是因为进行了锻炼才更年轻。我们可以对两个例子使用Parallelism 修辞进行概要写作：

Mr.Diamond looks younger than his chronological age because of his going to a gym regularly.（要点1）Ms.White is 62 years old but her fitness age is 32 years old because of regular exercise.（要点2）

三、建议

概要写作作为写作新题型，要求高，难度大，而应用修辞手法，不仅为学生提高写作水平开辟了新途径，也为教师的教学提供了新思路。在实践中，笔者建议遵循两个原则：

（一）主体性原则

教师要尊重学生的主体地位，策略教学应该以学生的策略认知、理解、运用和评价为核心，循序渐进，启发思维，鼓励为主，适时表扬。教师可让学生写初稿，再讨论、分析修辞手法的介入点，并逐步改进。

（二）忠实性原则

概要写作应该忠于原文内容，切不可为了应用修辞而生硬地搬用或改变原文的内容、观点和行文风格等。修辞手法是为了锦上添花，切不可弄巧成拙。