刘佳娴
Hello, everyone. Im glad to share my thought about English with you. I once thought it was rather difficulty① to write an English composition, but now I am confident and believe that I can do a good job. OK, let me share my experience with you.
I have a notebook which② I always collect all of the good sentences I read in the books or③newspapers. I divide my notebook into several parts, such as School life, Travel, Sports, Holidays and Festivals and so on. Then I write good sentences in every parts④. But most of all, I read them over and over again so that I can remember more and more good sentences. As the⑤ result, when I begin to write a composition, these sentences come out easily.
In a word, if we have confidence, and practise more, we can succeed in English writing. I hope that my experience can help you.
Thank you all.
本期點评名师
张超 男,河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、市优秀英语教师、县骨干教师,从事英语教育教学工作29年;多年来,在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾参编高中版教辅资料《天天向上》和《三维方案》的编写工作,并荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导多名学生在省、市和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
1. 优点:
本习作是一篇演讲稿,采用了常见的“总——分——总”结构。该习作结构完整,层次清楚,用词生动,重点突出,语法使用基本正确。而且该习作是小作者的经验之谈,这些经验的确有值得借鉴之处。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① difficulty改为difficult。此处应用形容词difficult作表语。
② which改为where。where在此引导定语从句,并在定语从句中作状语。
③ or改为and。or表示选择关系,而and表示并列关系。根据句意,此处应为并列关系。
④ parts改为part。every应修饰单数名词。
⑤ the改为a。as a result是固定短语,意为“因此,结果”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得17分。