Son's Mind, Mother's Read

By Cai Yi

I was dining with my friend Mei one day. At the table, she complained that she was extremely angry when she heard her son wanted a tattoo. She told him, “Never come back to see me if you dare!”

I didn't give her any advice but shared one of my own experiences with her.

One night several years ago, my son, living in Los Angeles, the United States, called me to announce that he planned to run a travel agency after obtaining his doctorate in mathematics.

Tired from a day's hard work, I felt terribly depressed at his “great ambition.” He was in the doctoral program of mathematics at California University, and secured a white-collar job on campus against the cutthroat competition—he took charge of arranging further education for teaching assistants from all faculties and departments. This working experience would be a great benefit to his future career if he wanted to teach at the university or handle administrative affairs, so he was more than happy to accept it.

How was it that he suddenly changed his mind? He was never an early riser, but why call me from California in the early morning just to tell me he was going to run a travel agency? There must be some secret in it. Was he testing my patience? I thought I shouldn't give in to him so I took a deep breath before replying in relaxation, “You might as well own a travel agency as long as you can put into practice what you have studied for six years in mathematical theory. Anyway, you're the master of your own life.”

There was slight silence on the other end as if the word “life” had offered him much food for thought. He sighed after a while, “I don't think I'll find any job in my life which deserves my efforts. Although I taught as a teaching assistant for three years, with my performance consistently being at the level of A plus, I still got tired of it. Now I take care of the management of teaching assistants, but the administrative affairs are also boring.”

老朋友相约聚餐，席间小玫诉说儿子明知道她不能接受刺青，却再次对她提起要去刺青之事，气得她撂下狠话：“刺了青，就永远别再来见我！”

我没劝小玫，而是给她分享一件亲身经历的事。

多年前的一个夜晚，我突然接到儿子远从洛杉矶打来的电话，他劈头第一句话就说：“妈，我念完数学博士决心去开旅行社。”

上班累了一天的我听到这句“告白”，心头一肚子气。在加州大学念数学博士，难得在激烈竞争下谋得一份校园内高阶工作——安排全校各科系助教的所有在职进修与训练。这对他将来留校教书或从事行政工作有很大帮助，他曾经很开心接下这份工作。

为什么今天他突然丢出这句话？从不早起的他为什么在加州的清晨特地打电话告诉我要开旅行社？中间定有蹊跷。他是来考验我的耐性与情商吗？我不能上当，先深呼吸，一派轻松地说：“开旅行社没什么不好呀，只要你能运用花了你六年时间的数学理论。反正人生是你自己的。”

他沉默了一下，好像在咀嚼“人生”这两个字，然后闷闷地说：“我觉得人生没有哪种工作值得我努力付出。当助教教了三年书，虽然成绩一直A+，我还是厌了；现在在管理助教，算是行政阶层，也不好玩。”

我猜他快要抛出问题核心了。

“妈，明天要举办为期两天的全校助教训练，我花了整整两个月的时间、精力来筹备，结果学校教职员工工会为了一个案子和学校大起冲突，竟然要利用我的师训场地搞示威抗议，这样，我所有的心血不都泡汤了吗？”

啊哈，这才是来电真正目的！他遇到困难、挫折了，来求救了，但不直说，先抛出一个烟幕弹，害我差点上当。

我问他助教训练在室内还是户外，示威的人要用扩音器喊口号吗？他说：“训练在室内，示威者只在门口及场外举牌游行，但在室内的窗口都看得一清二楚。”

我放下心中一块大石头，说：“恭喜，你大出风头的机会来啦。有这么多工会的人来吸引人群注意，简直是在替你的师训做免费宣传嘛。好好把握机会，让全校师生看到你。”

涉世未深的儿子学到了危机变转机的道理，终于放下紧张、害怕的心，准备接受明天的挑战。至于要不要开旅行社，那根本不是重点。

我劝小玫千万不可输给刺青，或许它也只是一颗烟幕弹，去挖掘事情的真相吧。

（摘自《忘了我是谁》北京联合出版公司）

I knew he was about to get to the point.

“Mom, there will be a two-day training program held for all the university teaching assistants. I have spent two months preparing for it, but the school staff waged a fight against the college authority due to a case, and they even wanted to stage a demonstration at the space where I intended to do the training. In that case, all my efforts would be wasted!”

Ah! Here came the real intention of his call. It turned out that he was seeking my advice as he met setbacks in his work. However, he didn't get straight to the point but beat around the bush so much as to almost take me in.

I asked him if the training was to take place indoor or outdoor, and if the demonstrators would shout slogans with amplifiers. To which he replied, “The training will be held indoor, and the demonstrators will be holding posters in the doorway or outside the training hall. But through the windows of the hall, everything is in view.”

Much relieved at his words, I said, “Good for you! Just take the chance to showcase your ability. So many members from the workers union will show up to draw people's attention and this will be a perfect free advertisement for your program. Boy, grab the opportunity to impress all the students and teachers!”

As a green hand in society, my son eventually learned how to turn a disadvantage into an advantage, and he successfully overcame his timidity to get ready for the challenges to follow. Regarding his plan to own a travel agency, that was just a symbol of his confusion.

I told Mei not to let the tattoo gain an edge over her. Maybe it was only a cover, under which the truth was hidden.

(FromWhoever You Are, Beijing Joint Publishing Company. Translation: Wang Wen)