Rabbi’s New Car感谢上帝

拉里·约瑟夫 闻春国

In a religious area of New York， a Rabbi2 left the pulpit to open up a business. After working very hard for several years and finally making some money， he decided to purchase a new automobile.

Upon entering the local new car dealer， he was quickly spotted by the salesman.

“Have I got a car for you！” he exclaimed， unable to conceal his delight at finding an obviously religious man. The Rabbi turned business man， dressed in a dark suit， sporting a long beard， looked at the sales man in apprehension.

“What do you mean？”

“Ah ha，” the salesman said rubbing his hands together. “Let me show you the latest technological advance. An American car with Israeli designed computerized digital commands.”

“W-What’s that？” the Rabbi asked hesitatingly.

“Come right here and let me show you. You will never believe your eyes.” The salesman opened the door of the new and shiny sedan. “Please sit down and I will show you.”

“A one of a kind， I tell you. You won’t believe your eyes. You see this car has no pedals. That’s right no gas pedal and no brake pedal.”

“B-But how do you stop and start？”

“Ah， that’s the beauty of this， with the Israeli computerized technology all you have to do is to speak and the digital processor will convert your voice into an electronic signal that tells the motor what to do.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Watch， it’s true. This was programmed for the religious consumer. To start， just say ‘Baruch HaShem’3.” （Hebrew： Thank God.） As the salesman spoke those words the car began to drive.

The Rabbi， was taken back， “Wow， I don’t believe it！ How do you stop the car？”

“That’s no problem， all you have to say is ‘Shema Yisroel’ （the prayer declaring the unity of God） and the car will stop.” As the salesman spoke those words， the car rolled to a halt.

“It’s as easy as can be， just say ‘Baruch HaShem’ to start and when you want to stop just say ‘Shema Yisroel’.”

The Rabbi was very impressed and bought the car on the spot.

Entering the car he said the magic words， ‘Baruch HaShem’ and the car was soon heading out and on to the local highway. Soon the Rabbi had left the city behind and was looking at the beautiful country scenery.

As the car continued， the Rabbi failed to notice a sign saying that the road is closed. As the car continued it went up onto a half completed bridge.

“Oh no！ We are going to crash！”

Instinctively his feet searched in vain for the brake pedal， but there was none to be found. “What do I say， WHAT DO I SAY！！！” panicking he could not remember what the salesman had told him. His mind was a blank and the car was approaching the end of the unfinished bridge， together with a majestic plunge into a ravine， hundreds of feet below.

“This is the end！” the Rabbi thought. And preparing for death he began to declare the unity of God. “Shema Yisroel！” he said， and in a moment the car screeched to a stop with half of the car resting in a tilted manner， precariously over the bridge.

The Rabbi， soaked with perspiration， removed his trembling hand from his forehead， and looked at the miracle and exclaimed with deep feeling ‘BARUCH HASHEM’.

在美国纽约的一个犹太教区，一位拉比离开了讲坛，开办了一家公司。经过几年的苦心经营，他终于挣了一些钱。于是，他决定购置一辆新车。

一走进当地那家新车经销店，销售员马上便看见了他。

“我这儿正好有一辆为您量身打造的新车。”他兴奋地说道。看到这位宗教界人士，销售员无法掩饰内心的喜悦。这位拉比转行成了商人，穿着一套黑色的西服，留着惹人注目的大胡子，神情疑惑地看着销售员。

“你这话是什么意思？”

“啊哈！”销售员搓着双手，“我给您展示一下最新的技术成果。这是一辆美国汽车，里面装有以色列人设计的电脑控制数字指令系统。”

“什……什么？”拉比疑惑地问。

“您过来，我给您演示一下。您看了也绝对不会相信的。”销售员打开了那辆锃光瓦亮新车的门，“您请坐。我会给您演示的。

“告诉您吧，这辆车独一无二。您就是亲眼看见了也不会相信。您看，这辆车没有任何刹车系统。不错！气动刹车和脚踏刹车一概没有！”

“可……可你怎么停车，又怎么启动呢？”

“嗯，这正是它的美妙之处。采用以色列人发明的电脑控制技术，您只需要开口说话，数字处理器会将您的声音转换成一种电子信号，指示汽车如何运行。”

“我不相信。”

“的确如此。您看，这是为宗教界客户预先设置的驾驶程序。想要启动的话，您只要说‘感谢上帝’就行了。”销售员刚说完这句话，汽车便开始行驶了。

见此情景，拉比大吃一惊。“哇，我简直不敢相信！那你又怎么停下车子呢？”

“这也没有任何问题。您只需说一声‘听啊，以色列’（超度亡灵的祷告词），汽车就会自动停下。”销售员刚说完这句话，汽车便停了下来。

“这简直太方便了！想启动就说一声‘感谢上帝’，想停车就说一声‘听啊，以色列’。”

拉比对这辆汽车印象非常深刻，当即便买了下来。

坐进车子，他说了那句神奇的指令“感谢上帝”，汽车便即刻飞奔而出，很快驶进了当地的一条高速公路。转眼之间，拉比将这座城市远远甩在了身后，沿途的乡村美景尽收眼底。

汽车继续前行，拉比并没有注意到前面的一个行车指示牌：此路不通。很快，汽车驶入一座尚未完工的桥梁。

“噢，不！这下，我可要粉身碎骨了！”

他的脚本能地在下面搜索着刹车踏板，可什么也没找到。“我该说什么，我该说什么啊！！！”在极度慌乱之中，他一下子忘记了汽车销售员是怎么跟他交代的。此时此刻，他的脑子里一片空白。汽车渐渐接近那座尚未完工的大桥尽头，转眼就要跌入下面深达几百英尺的大峡谷。

“这下可完了。”拉比心想。面对死亡，他开始为自己祈祷：“听啊，以色列！”话音刚落，汽车哧的一声停了下来，半截车身斜在大桥上，摇摇欲坠。

拉比驚出了一身冷汗。他将颤抖的双手从眼前移开，看着眼前的奇迹，情不自禁地发出了一声感叹：“感谢上帝！”