石继忠
The Spring Festival is the greatest traditional festival in China. It is also the happiest day for children. During the festival, beside① beautiful new clothes and good food, children can also get some wonderful presents from their parents and their grandparents. Sometimes they will get some money as a symbol (標志) of good luck. Of course their parents will take back most of money and only leave a few② for their children to buy the things they like. These years our life is getting better and better. And children can get more and more presents for the festival. Just at the beginning of this term, some of my classmates told me that they got a lots③ of money from their parents in this Spring Festival. Few even got as many④ as five hundred yuan and they could use the money to buy any expensive thing they like.
I thought it was good for children to get some presents for the Spring Festival. But if the parents give their children too much money, they will form bad habits. We are young and our country is still not rich, our parents should teach us how to live frugally.
山东梁山杨营中学九年级3班 杨文海
点评
1. 优点:
本文结构严谨,叙事清楚,层次分明,过渡自然,是一篇相当不错的习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① beside改为besides。besides意为“除……之外”。
② few改为little。a little修饰不可数名词。
③ lots改为lot。a lot of=lots of,后加可数名词或不可数名词均可。
④ many改为much。在这里指的是钱,所以用much。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得13分。