A Naughty Husband Makes a Good Marriage

By Ruan Danqing

On the day my father Huang Zongjiang passed away, a journalist asked me if I had any particular memories about my dad to share.I couldn’t recall anything striking—for everything I knew was simple and plain.Later, I toldBeijing Dailythat my father was a “cool” man.He could be jokingly described as impractical, and many of his old friends would agree.

Still, Dad wouldn’t accept such a comment.I once asked him why all his exes chose to leave him until my mother turned up.He replied, “At first, some girls admired me just for my talent.Later, they found out my eccentricities and figured that I couldn’t be the Mr.Right for them.” Girls showed little confidence in marrying him because of his unreliable nature.Even when my mother was ready to be his wife, many friends and relatives objected—some more vocally than others.An old friend of my mom even invited her to meet at Beijing Sun Yat-sen Park in order to warn her of my dad’s unreliable nature and attempted to intervene in their relationship.Dad was very angry about it.

By writing his love letter of more than ten thousand words, Dad finally won my mom’s heart.Half a year later, she married him, though she didn’t know much about him.A few decades later, Mom suffered a heart attack and went to the hospital.When she was awake, she kept asking me, “How is your dad’s TV script? Did he get any sponsorships?” She was a lifelong believer of whatever my dad told her.

Did he do anything for my mom? Sure—but I cannot remember any examples.Mom was always the first reader of Dad’s work.One day, shortly after I came back home, Dad complained, “I am mad at your mom, really mad.I cannot even talk to her.” It turned out that Mom was not happy with Dad’s new writing and voiced her criticisms.

In Dad’s mind, my mom ranked second to his work.He would often feel desperate when he was at his wit’s end—as if in the madhouse.He didn’t lose his temper, but he would affect the whole family —we would all be in the same mood until he came up with some good ideas and became happy again.

Dad preferred to make Western style breakfast for us.He would get up early to make coffee, using powder ground from coffee beans and a bubbling coffee pot, complete with bread, jam, and butter.When everything was done, the entire house filled with the aroma of fresh coffee, and he would proudly wait for us to get up.This was the only housework he would do, and unfortunately he seldom did it.

During our stay in the United States in 1988, we went to the Central Park in New York to watch Shakespeare’s plays.The performance stage was under some towering trees.The rain just stopped as the evening drew in.Mom was feeling a bit cold because she was thinly dressed.Dad and I held her on either side.What a happy moment it was! Green trees, a lovely stage, Shakespeare, and the beloved family—it all formed a picture that I will cherish all my life, though I was not sure if they still remembered that day.

Was my mom bamboozled into marriage by all these words and deeds? When I was turning 40, I happened to read the 10,000-word love letter in the drawer.Nobody seemed willing to spend their time studying the letter because it was all a piece of scribbles.I laughed as I read it, and finally I was moved to tears.If anyone had sent me such a letter as this, I would have married him immediately.I really admired Mom’s courage to marry a man that was inferior to her.At that time, she could easily have become the wife of some highranking official, for she was of the highest caliber.Dad had no house, no car, no official position, with the salary only one quarter of Mom’s—except for his talent and good looks.

An old friend of Mom’s once said, “Your mom was beside herself with love.What was wrong with her? Was she enchanted by your dad?” Apparently, Mom was equally “cool.”

I once asked her, “What made you marry Dad?” To which she replied, “Because his fondness for your two stepsisters was so amazing.” (Mom was divorced and had two daughters before marrying Dad.) Actually, there could be much more unexplainable even by herself.The following event could be cited as an example.One day, Dad took Mom out to dinner, but finally he realized he didn’t have enough cash to pay the bill, so he had to ask Mom for help.Mom said that he looked so lovable at that moment.Anyway, I was so envious of my mother.How many wives these days can stay happy with just the sweet talks of their husbands for a whole lifetime?

(FromArt Life in Huang’s, SDX Joint Publishing Company.Translation: Wang Wen)

忽悠一辈子

文/阮丹青

老爸黄宗江去世那天，一个记者问我，有什么关于爸爸的回忆特别让我铭记在心？特感动的，我想不起来。一切都是点点滴滴。后来我对《北京日报》记者说，我爸很酷。也可以用“不靠谱”这个词，很多爸爸的老朋友会认同。

但我爸大概是不会承认的。我问过他，为什么碰到我妈之前的恋爱记录，都是女人离他而去？他说：“人家先是挺崇拜我的，才华呀，什么的。然后发现根本搞不清我到底要干什么，不能托付终身。”太不靠谱，女人都不敢嫁给他。连我妈要嫁给老爸时，亲朋好友都有不少反对之声。一个老朋友还把我妈叫到北京的中山公园，告诉她，我爸是多么不靠谱，嫁不得。对此，我爸一直耿耿于怀。

老爸用“万言书”向老妈发起进攻，老妈对他几乎是一无所知，半年后就嫁给他。几十年后，老妈最后一次心脏病发作住院，清醒的时候，还是问：“你爸写的那个电视剧本，找到投资了吗？”被他忽悠了一辈子。

老爸究竟为她做过什么？我想不起来。老爸的作品，总是要先让老妈看。记得有一次，我刚进家门，老爸对我说：“我跟你妈生气呢，真的生气呢。我不跟她说话。”原来，老妈不喜欢老爸刚写完的那个剧本，提出了批评意见。

老妈在老爸心目中，永远不是第一位。老爸最关心的永远是他的作品。写不出来的时候，就是一副痛苦不堪的模样。这种时候，他并不发脾气，我们全家都跟他一起陷入一种紧张的状态中，直到他写出来为止。

老爸最喜欢为我们做的事，大概是做西式早餐。他会很早起床，煮咖啡。是咖啡豆磨的粉，用专门煮咖啡的壶，咕嘟咕嘟冒泡的。还要有面包、果酱、黄油。他把一切弄好，满屋都是咖啡的香气，然后得意扬扬地等我们起床。这是他唯一会做的“家务”，也不常做。

1988年，老爸和老妈在美国住了一年。我们一起去纽约中央公园看莎士比亚话剧。舞台就搭在公园的参天大树下。黄昏后，刚刚下过雨，老妈衣服单薄，有点冷。我和老爸一左一右搂住老妈。绿荫，舞台，莎士比亚，还有最爱的人。那是我终生难忘的幸福时光，不知道他们两个是否记得。

凭这些就能忽悠我妈一辈子吗？我快四十岁时，才看到我爸写给我妈的“万言书”。那封信一直放在抽屉里，好像大家都懒得看，我爸那笔赖字，太有挑战性。我一边看，一边笑，看到最后，感动得哭了。要是谁给我写这么一封信，我也会嫁给他啦。我很佩服，老妈有勇气下嫁。那时候，老妈想当个首长夫人不难，她也是首长级别的，老爸没房、没车、没官职，工资只是老妈工资的四分之一，就是有点儿才华，长得不错。

妈妈的一个老战友说：“你妈就是被你爸迷住了，失去了理智。”看来，老妈也很酷。

我问过老妈：“你为什么决定就嫁给老爸呢？”老妈说：“他真心地喜欢你两个姐姐。”还有的她都说不清楚。比如，我爸带我妈出去约会，吃完饭，才发现没带够钱，只好向我妈求援。我妈说，他的样子可爱极了。反正，我非常羡慕老妈。世界上有多少女人能被她们的丈夫自始至终忽悠一辈子呢？

（摘自《卖艺黄家》三联书店）