建议信的写作

2016-11-19 02:47张小梅
高中生学习·高二版 2016年4期
关键词:写信人收信人信件

张小梅

建议信是就某事提出自己的建议或忠告,以便让对方接受自己的想法、主张并解决有关问题。建议信可以写给个人,就其遇到的某个问题提出自己的看法或观点;也可以写给某个组织或者机构,就改进其服务等提出建议或忠告。建议信要给出写信的原因,建议的内容,提出建议的理由,而且提出的理由要合情合理,语气一定要得当,既要委婉礼貌,又要有说服力。

写建议信首先要明确写作意图,即简要陈述事由,简单介绍自己,注意语气。建议信的特点:简明扼要、目的明确、具有合理性和说服力。

写建议信也要遵循信件的基本格式:

①信头(heading),写信人的姓名和地址要写在右上角,收信人的姓名和地址要写在左上角。

②称呼(salutation),即对收信人的称呼,一般用dear/my dear ...。

③正文(body),即信件的主要内容。

④信尾客套语(complimentary close),写信人在信的右(或左)下角,写上表示自己对收信人一种礼貌客气的谦称,一般有sincerely yours,yours sincerely,yours truly,yours等。

⑤信尾签名(signature),在信末写上写信人的姓名,如:Li Hua。

建议信有一些常用的句式,如开头常用句式:

I am writing to express my views about ...

You have asked me for my advice concerning ...and i will try to make some useful suggestions。

表达建议的常用句式:

I would recommend that ...

In my opinion, it would be beneficial if ...

As to ... i suggest that you choose ...

You do not have to devote all your time to ...

请同学们给一位承建社区建筑的建筑师写一封建议信,要求使用委婉的表达,望其改善建筑,给残疾人提供方便。

习作1

Rencently, Im told that an architect of a new railway station is going to be constructed in our country, I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.

First of all, with common paths uneasy for disabled people to pass, adequate access for wheelchairs is needed, which can make them feel as important as other people.

Secondly, I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.

Last but not the least, as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.

Though in some ways, the added construction may occupy much space, the advantages overweight the disadvantages, for it will contribute to the harmony of society.

Enthusiastic to help, I hope my suggestions can meet with your approval.

点评

这篇习作对同学们有三个基本要求:

1. 掌握信件的基本格式;

2. 学会使用委婉礼貌表达进行建议;

3. 提出有效建议并清晰表达。

习作一有以下特点:

1. 没有将信件的基本格式写到位,忽略了开头和结尾。没有称谓和落款,也没有最基本的自我介绍,有时候开门见山会让读信人摸不到头脑。

2. 正文中提供的建议语气委婉,这一点上完成得不错。如:

I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.

I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.

... it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.

习作2

Dear architect,

I head that you are to be the architect for the new railway station in our area, I hope you will not mind me writing to ask if you have thought about the needs of disabled customers. In particular, I wonder if you have considered the following things.

Considering the situation, I want to put forward some suggestions on how to make it more comfortable for people, especially for disabled people.

First of all, the project should separate a road for the disabled to pass, which is larger than the normal ones. Because the disabled is more difficult than normal people to walk.

Second, they should transformed the ticket office into a convenient one, such as making the table lower and so on.

Finally, on the way to the railway, it would be handy to help the disabled to carry things with a slid table to carry things.

I hope my suggestions will meet with your approval.

建议

1. 习作一、二都很好地使用了委婉的句式进行建议,除此之外还有类似表达可供选择,比如:

... it would be a good idea if ...

It would be convenient that ...

Thanks for going through my suggestions ...

2. 习作一、二都要明确地给建筑师提出了不同的建议,让其在进行建筑设计时多从残疾人的角度出发,为他们提供更多的方便。

习作一给出了三个建议,其中... dequate access for wheelchairs is needed ...这个表达中的access用在了点上,但是... a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.这句话的句意没有讲清楚,建议改为 ... a space for wheelchairs in waiting rooms。

第三个建议中 ... as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.表达不错,但这个建议不是给建筑师提的,应该属于对公众的呼吁。

习作二也给出了三个建议,并且这三个建议的角度都非常好。有两处需要修改: ... which is larger than the normal ones. Because the disabled is more difficult than normal people to walk.这个句子中larger应改为wider, is应改为are。

此外,习作二的前两段占据的篇幅过多,使建议的部分显得比较单薄,可将一二段压缩成一段,并对建议部分加以丰富。

范文

Dear Mr. Rogers,

Im Li hua. I learnt from the news report that you are appointed as the chief architect for our city railway station. Would you mind my writing to ask if need of disabled people has been considered. I wonder if you would discuss the issue with me in sequence of getting on a train. Here is the advice.

It would be convenient that the entrance and the exit of the station are designed near the parking lot, which can be reserved and benefit those with walking disability. Besides, it would help to adapt some stairs to wheelchairs while fixing adjustable seats in the huge waiting hall. Since disabled people tend to call for more care, more specially-built toilets as well as more evident signs are required. Eventually when disabled people are going aboard, would you broadened the passage appropriately in case of the crowds rushing?

Thanks for going through my suggestions, which are supposed to meet with your kind approval. We are looking forward to a considerate railway station where disabled people can go on as satisfactory and comfortable a journey as the able-bodied.

Would you mind taking those above into consideration?

Yours sincerely,

Li hua

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