姚柳
My life has changed a lot in the past few years. I used to be short. I had black long hair and I used to like cartoons. Now Im tall. I have black short hair and I like watching soap operas and reality shows.
The biggest change in my life was I become outgoing. This is the most important change because one day, I saw a TV show, it told us we should be outgoing so that we can make many friends and well be happy. So I did follow it. I made many friends and I feel happy in my life. What about your change?
盧燕平老师点评:
本文是以“我的变化”为题的作文,主要是让学生熟悉和掌握“used to”的用法。一般来说,每个学生都会有变化,对这个话题都有话可说,但很多学生局限于讲述自己的外貌、爱好等方面,该生结合自己看电视后所得感悟,以及对自己产生的影响来展开说明自己的变化,切入角度令人耳目一新。不过,在时态和句子结构方面,该篇作文还有待改进。
修改稿:
My life has changed a lot in the past few years. I used to be short. I had black long hair and I used to like cartoons. Now Im tall with black short hair and I like watching soap operas and reality shows.
The biggest change in my life is that I have become more outgoing. Do you know how I have changed? This is because of a TV show. One day, I saw a TV show, which told us we should be more outgoing so that we could make more friends and we would be happier. So I did follow it. I have made many more friends and I feel happier in my life. This is the most important change. Im happy with my change. What about your change?