陈传光
I like summer vacation. I neednt get up so early. I can do anything I like to do, such as watching TV, listening to music, playing computer games, and reading interesting books. My parents are busy for① their work. I often stay at home lonely②. Sometimes I call my friends to come to my home. Sometimes I go to my friends home.
Although I am alone most of the time in my summer vacation, but③ I still enjoy my vacation.
江苏省连云港市赣榆区罗阳中学七(4)班 魏杰
点评
1. 优点:
小作者描写了自己的暑假生活,表达了自己对假期的喜爱。本文语言简洁,内容连贯。整篇文章文字流畅,用词得当,是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① for改为with。be busy with sth.意为“忙于某事”;
② lonely改为alone。lonely是形容词,此处修饰动词短语stay at home,应使用副词alone;
③ but去掉。although不能与but同时出现在一句话中。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准,本文修改前可得23分。