找准突破口 写出好作文

徐启富　谢凌

英语作文，又称“书面表达”，是英语学习的重要组成部分，也是中考英语试卷上的压轴题。优秀的写作题能客观检测学生的逻辑思维能力和语言组织能力，更能反映学生综合运用语言的能力。同学们要想驾驭写作题，取得好成绩，就必须找准突破口。

一、把握试题特点

英语作文有别于语文作文，它是一种限定型的半开放式写作（guided writing），一般都有明确的信息提示，以及词数、文体等限定条件。从近几年的中考命题趋势看，写作试题大致可分为以下几类：

（一）要点限定型写作题

【真题链接】

（2014年武汉卷）假如你是李明。本周五早上你班同学将去格林农场参加实践活动。请你用英语草拟一则通知。

内容要点如下：

1.摘蔬菜，给植物浇水；

2.7点校门口集合，乘车前往；

3.体验农场生活，活动约2小时；

4.相互关照，注意安全；

5.补充一至两点有关事项。

注意：

1.词数：60～80；

2.不要逐条翻译，内容要连贯；

3.通知的开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。

参考词汇：experience v. 体验；pick v. 摘；activity n. 活动

Fellow students，

Our class are going to Green Farm this Friday morning.

Thank you for your attention.

【范文赏析】

Fellow students，

Our class are going to Green Farm this Friday morning. Would you like to experience farm life？ We can pick some vegetables and water the plants. Well stay there for about 2 hours. I bet the meaningful activity will make the trip unforgettable. Well meet at 7 a.m. at the school gate and take a bus there. Remember always be with your classmates， help each other， and never do anything that may hurt you. By the way， youd better wear your sports shoes. Have a good time.

Thanks for your attention.

【写作分析】

该篇写作题目选择与学生生活相关的社会实践活动为话题，所给写作提示比较多。因此，审题比较简单，看清要求就行；构思比较容易，不遗漏任何要点即可。此类题目得分率较高，同学们只要逐条表达相关提示，注意语言的准确性，即可取得高分。全国大多数命题单位采用这种命题形式，其优点是评卷老师比较好把握评分标准，而缺点是学生的创新能力得不到发挥。

（二）情景提示型写作题

【真题链接】

（2014年陕西卷）在日常生活中，你看到身边有哪些不良现象？请列举一些并就某些方面说说你的做法和想法。

提示：speak loudly；cut in line （插队）；waste food；unfriendly （冷漠的）；offer no help …

要求：

1.参考提示语，可适当发挥；

2.语句通顺，意思连贯，书写工整；

3.文中不得出现真实姓名和地名；

4.词数：不少于80词。（开头和结尾已给出，但不计入总词数。）

In our daily life， I usually see some bad behavior around us. For example，

I think if everyone can think more of others， well have a better living environment.

【范文赏析】

In our daily life， I usually see some bad behavior around us. For example， I often hear people speak and laugh loudly in public. It is too noisy. Some people cut in line while others are waiting. It makes me unhappy. And in our school dining hall， I often see students waste food. At times， people seem unfriendly and offer no help when others are in trouble. For me， my parents are strict with me. They often tell me to behave well. So I never drop litter about. And I never draw on the desk or on the wall. I am polite to old people. I am learning to do better in the future.

I think if everyone can think more of others， well have a better living environment.

【写作分析】

这个题目密切联系了社会核心价值观，如果没有限定内容，题目就很大，不好把握。我们在生活中看到的不良现象很多，但不一定能表达出来。因此，题目适当给出一些英文提示，不仅降低了写作难度，而且有效限定了表达范围，同时也给予学生一定的发挥空间。此类题目中提示情境的方法有很多，如图画、表格、汉语等。

（三）走向开放型写作题

【真题链接1】

（2014年河南卷）你身边的每个人对你来说都具有特殊的意义。请以“My special ”为题用英语写一篇短文，描述你家庭的某个成员或你的朋友、老师、同学等。

要求：

1.在题目空格处填入你要描述的对象，如grandma，teacher 或friend等；

2.文中不得出现真实姓名和学校名称；

3.80词左右。

My special

【范文赏析】

My special grandma

My grandma is special to me because were like friends. She always helps me out whenever I am in trouble. There are no secrets between us.

When I am with my grandma， we spend a lot of happy time together. I know my grandma is very smart because she seems to know everything. My grandma is good at many things. One thing that shes best at is cooking. She often cooks delicious food for me. I know my grandma loves me and I love her as well.

【真题链接2】

（2014年上海卷）Write about at least 60 words about the topic “This time next year” （以“明年此时”为题写一篇不少于60词的短文，标点符号不占格）

你是否想象过，明年此时，你的生活会发生怎样的变化？你对自己或他人有怎样的期待？你能为他做些什么？

（注意：短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）

The following sentence patterns are for reference only.（以下句型仅供参考）

☆I hope to / I hope that …

☆Perhaps I will …

☆It will be exciting / necessary / terribleto …

【范文赏析】

This is something that often comes to my mind—this time next year. I hope that I will be able to travel with my parents at this time next year. They have done so much for me during my junior middle school life. It is time for me to do something in return. Perhaps I will do better in school to make them feel more proud of me， and to give them more free time to exercise and to enjoy their own life. It will be exciting for me to see them live a happy life and for them to see me learn well and play well.

【写作分析】

中考英语写作试题从严格限定到半开放，正在逐步向全开放题型过渡，2014年的河南卷和上海卷就是典型代表。这种命题形式给学生极大的发挥和想象的空间，他们可以根据自己的生活体验和英语水平选择自己能够表达的内容，有利于不同层次的学生的水平展示。因为这种开放性试题能打开学生的写作思路，使他们写出真正的美文，也正是基于这个因素，上海卷并没有给出参考答案。

（四）限定型与开放型相结合的写作题

【真题链接】

（2014年龙东卷）81.假如你叫Bill，昨天游泳后患了感冒，今天早上觉得头疼。妈妈给你量了体温后，发现你发烧，便带你去看医生。医生说你需要卧床休息两天，特向老师请假。请给老师写一张请假条。

June 12th， 2014

Dear Mrs. White，

Im sorry to tell you that I cant go to school today.

With best wishes.

Your student，

Bill

【范文赏析】

June 12th， 2014

Dear Mrs. White，

Im sorry to tell you that I cant go to school today. Ive caught a cold because I swam yesterday.

This morning I had a headache. After taking my temperature， my mother found that I had a high fever. Immediately she took me to see a doctor， who advised me to stay in bed for 2 days. Now I am writing to you to ask for 2 days sick leave.

With best wishes.

Your student，

Bill

82.（A） 话题作文：即将到来的假期，你打算怎样度过呢？是去旅游，去放松玩乐还是去做一些其他有意义的事情？请以“Doing something in summer holiday”为题写一篇英语短文，谈谈你的想法。（提示：先将题目补充完整，可用meaningful，relaxing，interesting等。）

（B）图示作文：仔细观察下列三幅图片，展开合理想象，写一篇短文。

grandfathers well fathers well sons well

提示词：rope 绳子；broadcast 宣传；call on 号召；make contributions to 为……做出贡献

要求：

1.话题作文或图示作文任选其一；

2.词数在80与100词之间；

3.要求字迹工整，语法正确，意思连贯，合乎逻辑，可适当发挥。

【范文赏析】

A

Doing something meaningful in summer holiday

Its important to do something meaningful in summer holiday.

I can do many things to help others as well as to improve myself. Maybe I can work as a volunteer to help more people. For example I can go to see old people in old peoples home. It will be a wonderful thing if I talk with them and bring laughter to them. Of course， I will meet many new people and make friends with them during my meaningful holidays. Besides， I can read some books to open my mind and learn some new things at the same time. All the good and meaningful things Ive done in the holiday can make me a better person.

Make a good plan for your summer holiday and do something meaningful.

B

Saving water

By watching the three pictures above， we can see that there is less and less underground water as the rope of the well becomes longer and longer.

We all know that water is important for us. We cant live without it. But we are short of drinking water now. As middle school students， what should we do to save water？

First， we are supposed to volunteer to broadcast the importance of saving water to the public.Its necessary for us to call on people to savewater.

Second， we should do everything we can in our daily life. For example， we must turn off the tap as soon as we finish using it. After washing vegetables， we can use it to water the flowers. After washing faces， its better to use it to clean the floor.

In a word， everyone should make contributions to saving water so that we wont see that the last drop of water is our tears.

Lets work together to save water！

【写作分析】

这是一种形式多样的写作新题型：第一题要求写一篇内容严格限定的请假条；第二题则提供了两个开放型题目供学生选择。

二、分析失分因素

（一）心理因素

许多学生一看到写作题，心理上就会有恐惧感，无从下手，认为自己写汉语作文都有点语无伦次，又怎么能写好英语作文呢？其实根本就没有必要担心。英语作文目前还是以限定型作文为主，即使是开放型的命题，也会限定自由发挥的空间。

（二）不良习惯

由于写作文耗费的时间较多，因此教师平时布置给学生的写作题也就相对较少。很多学生平时懒得写，没能养成良好的审题、构思、布局、书写等习惯，因而失去学习英语的原动力，错过提高写作能力的最佳时期。

（三）语言能力

学生的语言能力决定着学习状态和学习效果，而语言能力是由学生的基础知识、思维习惯以及汉语知识等综合形成的。由于语言能力的差异，写英语作文时往往会出现以下问题：

1.时态误用

汉语写作不需要考虑时态，而英语写作是必须要注意这方面的，时态的变化又是通过动词的变化表现出来的。学生首先要审题，确定用什么时态，然后仔细注意动词的变化，才能减少不必要的错误。例如，2014年上海卷的题目是“This time next year”，就定调了用一般将来时；2014年广州卷的题目要求写上周六的“Guangzhou Culture Festival”，就定调了用一般过去时。

2.汉语式英语

由于受汉语表达习惯的影响，再加上对英语句子结构掌握不牢固，学生在写作时经常出现汉语式英语等错误表达。如果先写出一个句子的主语、谓语和宾语，再考虑把其他句子成分放在恰当的位置，就能让错误率降到最低。

3.逻辑错误

很多学生习惯根据提示顺序按部就班地写作文，这样当然不会出什么大问题。但有时候题目所给提示信息较少，如果我们不厘清思路，就会乱写一气。要写出精彩之作，就必须在写作之前构思一下先写什么，后写什么，哪些内容应该详写，哪些内容应该略写。这样才能使整篇文章逻辑清晰，层次清楚，中心突出。

4.拼写错误

记忆单词是英语学习中的最大困难之一。从理论上讲，义务教育阶段经过小学四年和初中三年的学习，记住《英语课程标准》要求掌握的1，500至1，600个单词是绝对没问题的。然而实际情况却没这么乐观，记不住或懒得记单词的大有人在，这些学生在写作文时就面临“巧妇难为无米之炊”的窘境。

5.缺少衔接

在写作文时要注意上下文的逻辑关系，做到句子之间和段落之间要自然地衔接和过渡，否则文章就缺乏连贯性，影响信息的传递和表达效果。

三、写作练习

（一）根据中文和英文提示，写一封意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于50词的回信。信的开头和结尾已给出，其词数不计入所完成的回信内。所给英文提示词语仅供选用。请不要写出你的校名和姓名。

假如你叫李华，最近和美国朋友Jim通过邮件谈论各自的校园生活，他想了解在学校里你最喜欢哪位教师。请你根据他的问题回复邮件。

提示词语：love；hardworking；patient；encourage； tell

To Jim

From Li Hua

Subject My favourite teacher

Hi！ Jim，

Im glad to hear from you.

Yours，

Li Hua

（二）越来越多的学生都过早地戴上了眼镜。6月6日是“爱眼日”。请你结合生活实际写一篇题目为“How to protect our eyes”的征文稿。

内容要点包括：

1.眼睛的重要性；

2.保护眼睛的措施：

（1）不要长时间看书报；

（2）坚持做眼保健操；

（3）……

要求：

1.包含所给要点，并自拟一条建议；

2.词数60～80。

How to protect our eyes

（三）你即将升入高中，面临寄宿（a boarding school）和走读（a day school）两类学校的选择。请你以“A boarding school or a day school？”为标题，写一篇 80～120 词的短文。

内容须包括：

1.读寄宿学校的利和弊各一点；

2.读走读学校的利和弊各一点；

3.你的选择和理由（理由不得与上述两点内容重复）。

注意：

1.短文必须包括所有要点；

2.可根据内容要点适当添加有关细节，使行文连贯；

3.书写规范，卷面整洁。

（四）Write at least 60 words on the topic “Id like to make feel happy” （以《我想使……高兴》为题写一篇不少于60词的短文，标点符号不占格）

（注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）

Suggested phrases and expressions： not afford to buy sth.；spend … doing sth. with sb.；make ones own present（s）；become healthier

Id like to make feel happy

参考答案：

（一）

Hi！ Jim，

Im glad to hear from you. I love all the teachers in my school. My favorite teacher is Ms. Wang.

She is a hardworking and experienced music teacher. She loves music， she loves her job， and she is always patient with her students.

She encourages me to follow my dream of music. She often tells me the most important thing in our life is to be an honest and responsible person. She says love can make music more beautiful. She has great influence on me， and I want to be a person like her.

Yours，

Li Hua

（二）

How to protect our eyes

Eyes are the windows of our mind. Its time to say goodbye to thick glasses. How to protect our eyes？

Its not right to keep your eyes working for a long time. Youd better not read in a strong or poor light. Dont read in bed or on a moving bus. Remember to keep your books away from your eyes for about a foot and do eyeexercises every day. Whats more， a balanced diet is necessary.

（三）

We are going to graduate from our middle school， and we will make a choice to enter a boarding school， or a day school. Both kinds of schools have their advantages and disadvantages.

If we choose a boarding school， we will save more time to study. However we may have less time staying with our family. If we choose a day school， parents can know more of our studies. At the same time， computer games may take a bad influence on us.

As for me， I prefer a boarding school. We should concentrate on our study to get good grades in high school.

（四）

Id like to make my parents feel happy

I love my parents. They always try to do what they can to make me happy. Now as Im growing older， its my turn to do something for them. Thanksgiving Day is coming. Though I can not afford to buy them an expensive gift， I am going to cook some delicious food for them and spend the whole day with them telling them all about how I am going on. Ill take them to the park and exercise with them. In this way I can make them happier and healthier.