A Comparative Study of Two English Versions of Caisangzi—Chongyang from the Perspective of the Three Beauties Principle

2015-07-04 15:10张琨成汹涌
校园英语·下旬 2015年8期
关键词:江天分外采桑子

张琨 成汹涌

【Abstract】The paper,with the Three Beauties Principle as its theoretical foundation,discusses and analyzes the two English translations of Caisangzi-Chongyang from two Chinese translators,Xu Yuanchong and Gu Hongming.By making a comparison between the two versions,the paper verifies the feasibility of the Three Beauties Principle in traditional Chinese poetry translation,and concludes that it is hard to keep three beauties together in one translated poem.

【Key words】Caisangzi-Chongyang; Gu Hongming; Three Beauties Principle; Xu Yuanchong

Ⅰ.Introduction

Caisangzi-Chongyang was written on September 9th to the lunar calendar in 1929,when Mao Zedong was taking rest to regain his health in the Chinese Civil War.During the war in Fujian,Mao had no time to celebrate the Double Ninth Festival,but facing beautiful flowers,though in sickness,he could not stop expressing his optimistic attitude.The two translations are from Xu Yuanchong and Gu Hongming.They apply different translation strategies to keep three beauties in the poem.The paper raises concerns about the differences between the two versions and then compares which one works better in conveying the beauty of sense,sound,and form.

Ⅱ.Theoretical Framework

The Three Beauties Principle was put forward by the prestigious translator Xu Yuanchong in 1980s out of his translations for ages.In the article Third Study on “Message Beauty,Prosodic Beauty,Image Beauty”,Xu discussed it in detail.Three Beauties are beauty in sense,sound,and form.Beauty in sense emphasizes that the profound meanings hidden in poems are the kernels of poems,and the major job of translators is to translate the sense,which will be of great importance for target readers to understand poems.Beauty in sound indicates that poems,usually traditional poems rather than modern free verse,are in rhyme,assonance,alliteration,and the heroic couplet and so on.So when doing translations,translators are required to keep the rhyme as stringently as possible.Beauty in form keeps a watchful eye on poems that are written in some forms,like traditional Chinese seven-character octaves that there are only seven characters in each line,and the poem covers 4-8 lines.Xu(1983)holds the opinion that beauty in sense ranks first,beauty in sound second,and beauty in form last.If there is a conflict among them,translators are expected to put beauty in sense first,and then try to keep beauty in sound; if translators succeed in maintaining the beauty in sense and sound,they will do their utmost to keep beauty in form; also they need to make great efforts to keep the three beauties in one poem (Xu,1983).Beauty in sense is the essence of poems.However,in pragmatic translations,Xu finds it is really hard to maintain three beauties in a translated poem without losing anything,but a poem that makes the least sacrifice to three beauties could be seen as a well-translated text (Xu,1983).

Ⅲ.A Case Study

Samuel Coleridge once said “Prose is words in the best order; poetry is the best words in the best order.” Similarly,the two English versions of Caisangzi-Chongyang lose something,but the creation from two authors also give it something novel.

采桑子·重阳 1929年10月

人生易老天难老,岁岁重阳。今又重阳,战地黄花分外香。

一年一度秋风劲,不似春光。胜似春光,寥廓江天万里霜。

The above is the Chinese version of Caisangzi-Chongyang.It is known that Caisangzi is the name of a Chinese Ci-poem.It is bi-tonic,which signifies that its poetic meter is reflected in two lines.Typically,the rules of its composition dictate that each line contains four sentences.

(Xu )Nature does not grow old as fast as man;

Each year the Double Ninth comes round.

And now the Double Ninth comes round.

How sweet are the yellow flowers on the battleground!

See autumn reign with heavy winds once every year,

Unlike springtime.

Far more sublime,

The boundless sky and waters blend with endless rime.

(Gu)Man ages too easily but heaven never gets old,

Double Ninth comes yearly in the same mould.

This years Double Ninth would tell

The yellow flowers on the battlefield sweeter smell.

Every year in autumn the wind blows with might,

How different from the spring sight!

Yet in splendor the autumn could the spring defy

With its frosty and boundless water and sky.

The Chinese poem is in ping rhyme1.Here,Chong Yang (重陽)and Chun Guang (春光)share the same characters,which makes the poem more poetic.And the six characters all are in end rhyme ang.The rhythm of the poem is abbb cddd,which Xus translation follows strictly.But the version from Gu uses the rhyming scheme aabb ccdd,which closely approaches to western poems.

The first segment from Xu could be returned to Tian Nan Lao Ren Sheng Yi Lao (天难老人生易老),and the translation from Gu keeps the original order,but both versions adhere to message similarity.There is a big difference on the translation of Tian.Many Westerners believe in Jesus Christ.And heaven is used to refer to Tian in a general sense in Western culture.However,heaven is from the religion language,so it seems it narrows the concept.While in Chinese peoples opinion,Tian is more meaningful.And Xus translation Nature embraces the meaning.As a result,Nature keeps beauty of sense better.Both versions translate Ren Sheng (人生)into man.In Chinese,Ren Sheng indicates humans,so the two translations maintain the original meaning.In addition,Gu adds two adverbs too and never in his transition.The Chinese sentence laments that life is short,so adding a too to emphasize the emotion.But in Tian Nan Lao,the character Nan shows that heaven can grow old,but with no hint that it never grows old.It appears that Gus addition is not accurate enough.But his version highlights the comparison of man and heaven,which expresses the source meaning more appropriately.It scores a point in this regard.In comparison,Xus translation keeps beauty of sense and sound more effectively.

The second segment Sui Sui Chong Yang (歲岁重阳)contains a cultural-loaded word Chong Yang.Chong Yang is a festival in China.It is celebrated for old people in autumn,so it is always accompanied with sorrow.In Sui Sui Chong Yang,there is no verb,just two time-nouns.English is synthetic morphological language,and there are strict grammatical rules,so both translations add verbs to make sense.In Gus translation,he adds a propositional phrase in the same mould.It does not run counter to the Chinese meaning; furthermore,it indicates a hypothesis that Gu adds it to keep it in rhyme with the old in the above fragment.To keep beauty of sense and sound,the two translators apply different strategies.

The third segment is a transition.It duplicates Chong Yang,but also leads to the following sentence.It specifies the general time to present,with only two characters being changed.So Xu only changes the temporal adverbial now with an And as a transitional signal.Sui Sui Chong Yang and Jin You Sui Chong Yang are in rhyme.Xu notices it when doing translation that his translation follows the form and rhyme.It gives a very good example of keeping beauty of sense,sound,and form.Relatively speaking,the translation from Gu is somewhat inferior.And the beauty of form and sound is lost.

The fourth segment tells readers the background.Huang Hua (黄花)in Chinese signifies particular to chrysanthemums.They are the representatives of autumn and withering in Chinese culture.But in traditional Chinese poems,they are termed yellow flowers.To make it ready to understand,both Xu and Gu translate it into a more general concept.The declarative sentence Zhan Di Huang Hua Fen Wai Xiang (战地黄花分外香)is translated into an exclamatory sentence in Xus version.In English,exclamatory sentences work well in expressing the affection.And the fragment Zhan Di Huang Hua Fen Wai Xiang conveys to readers Maos optimistic attitude.Therefore,Xu applies a good way to keep beauty of sense and its profound emotion.In Gus translation,he transfers the subject from the Double Ninth to a person and combines two clauses into a lengthy sentence.Hence,his translation loses the beauty of form.Fen Wai signifies very or extremely in Chinese.And in Gus translation,he adds a comparative form sweeter,which keeps the beauty of sense better than Xus sweet.Gu uses tell in his translation,which gives this verb a personification effect in this sentence.The last character Xiang is also in ping rhyme.To keep the rhyme,the last word of Xus translation is battleground.It follows the above rhyme / raund /,and keeps the beauty of sound and form.

The following four segments are the second section of the poem.Yi Nian Yi Du (一年一度)is a reduplicative word.Both Xu and Gu translate it into every year to avoid tautologies.Qiu Feng (秋风)is another sign of autumn in Chinese poems.Xu translates it into autumn reign with heavy winds adding a See ahead,which turns the segment to an imperative sentence.autumn reign with heavy winds points out that the wind blows strongly.Jin (劲)is replaced by reign and heavy.Here,Xu revises the segment into an imperative sentence,and maybe he considers that the segment aims to depict Maos sanguine attitude towards the revolution and he writes the poem with a purpose to encourage the masses.So Xu translates it with a personified See added.If returning to the original order of Xus translation,it keeps beauty of sense.Relatively,Gus translation complies with the original Chinese order.He translates Jin by appending with might.with might shows the wind blows very heavily,and it paves the way for the following rhyme.In the two translations,beauty of sense is kept,but beauty of sound and form are not maintained totally.

Next segment Bu Si Chun Guang (不似春光)makes a comparison with Qiu Feng.Xus translation Unlike springtime is sufficiently brief,but it is not concrete enough.The deep meaning somewhat is lost.And it does not follow beauty of sense strictly.Gus translation is an exclamatory sentence.It makes mention of the difference between Qiu Feng and Chun Guang,and keeps beauty of sense in a better way.

Last but not least,the segment Sheng Si Chun Guang (勝似春光)sings of the beauty and strength of Qiu Feng by making a comparison.Qiu Feng is stronger and could destroy any anti-revolutionary power.Far more sublime is Xus translation.It,though sufficiently concise,fails to exactly convey the meaning.Nevertheless,Unlike springtime,Far more sublime and the following segment make beauty of form and sound come true.Comparatively,Gu mentions autumn and spring,and it keeps beauty of sense more appropriately.

The last segment Liao Kuo Jiang Tian Wan Li Shuang (寥廓江天万里霜)depicts the scenery and accurately represents Maos broad mind.But here,there is a discussion about Shuang.The poem was written in October,during middle autumn.The author was in Fujian province then.So in accordance with this fact,it was cool but not cold there.And there might be frost,but it would have been a very thin frost quite unlike the thick frost of winter.Gus translation frosty,is not as good as Xus rime.Both authors translate Liao Kuo as boundless.The adjective keeps beauty of sense.Also,Jiang Tian in Xus version is sky and waters,but in Gus is water and sky.From the perspective of the author,maybe Gu changes the order in consideration of the rhyming scheme,pursuing the above rhyme /ai/.For this segment,Xus translation keeps beauty of sense more effectively.

Ⅳ.Conclusions

The American poet Robert Frost said that “Poetry is what gets lost in translation.” Through discussing and analyzing the two English versions of Caisangzi-Chongyang,it is clear that the two versions keep beauty of sense effectively,though some words are not felicitous enough sometimes.For beauty of sound and form,Xus translation strictly follows the source rhyme; but for target readers,Gus translation is like Western poems with more domestication strategies.In summary,both translations offer Occidentals a good opportunity to read traditional Chinese poems and get in touch with Chinese culture,but perhaps it is prudent to recommend Xu Yuanchong to Western readers that are reading it for the first time.

References:

[1]Xiao,L.M.English-Chinese Comparative Studies and Translation[M].Shanghai:Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press,2010.

[2]Xu,Y.C.Second Study on Message Beauty,Prosodic Beauty,Image Beauty[J].Foreign Language Research.1983(8):68-75.

[3]Xu,Y.C.Third Study on Message Beauty,Prosodic Beauty,Image Beauty[J].Journal of Shenzhen University (Humanities & Social Sciences).1987(2):70-77.

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