UNWED AND UNDEFENDED

BY llU SHA 〔刘莎〕 AND SUN JlAHUl 〔孙佳慧〕

UNWED AND UNDEFENDED

BY llU SHA 〔刘莎〕 AND SUN JlAHUl 〔孙佳慧〕

China’s single women struggle for the right to have kids

冷冻卵子的自由、社会抚养费和传统观念的压力，

未婚女性想要做妈妈，道阻且长

“l’m getting old and don’t enjoy noisy bars like I used to,” says Mary, 36, who works as a deputy marketing director at a German company in Beijing. Mary isn’t her real name, but her German bosses can’t pronounce her Chinese name anyway. Mary was once the leader of a friendly “no-marriage clique”, absorbing new members and telling them to never worry about settling down, that singlehood is freedom.

However, now that she wants to have children, the official policies on this freedom are taking their toll. For Mary and the thousands like her, the system is not kind to the single.

“When a woman gets old, naturally, she wants to be a mother,” Mary tentatively admitted to her friends. Surprisingly, several nodded in agreement. Despite the concerns of wondering whether or not she is too old, Mary also worries about her health—what with her drinking habits and exhausting work hours. Her parents, upset by her celibacy claims, suggest she should register on a dating website. However, Mary, like many others, was inspired by another Chinese woman: Xu Jinglei, 41, whose experience in fertility has given hope to many women. Xu said in an interview that egg-freezing technology was the only way she could justify her decision to not have a baby right away.

The technology is not commonly known or used in China, and this incident rose awareness of this option. Suddenly, thousands of women expressed admiration toward Xu’s strong will and as the story went viral, more and more women came forward in favor of the procedure. Mary is one of them:“If I can store my eggs, I can become really free by taking control of my body, and I don’t want to worry that someday I won’t be able to give birth to a baby.”

But the hopes of these women were crushed when state media outlet China Central Television (CCTV), reminded people on Weibo that unwed women were not allowed to freeze their eggs.

Egg-freezing technology, or human oocyte cryopreservation, has existed in China since the 1990s, and in 2001 then Ministry of Health stipulated in the Assisted Reproductive Technology Regulations that the procedure is only available to those who have a valid reproduction permit, which can only be acquired through marriage.

Indeed, a woman must show her ID card, marriage certificate, birth permits, and proof that her partner is suffering from fertility difficulties before using the technology, which is classified as a supplementary IVF (in vitro fertilization) measure.

Lu Guangxiu, president of the Reproduction and Genetic Hospital of CITIC-Xiangya in Changsha, Hunan Province, one of the few hospitals eligible to perform egg-freezing procedures, says that they allow single ladies to freeze their eggs, but if they’re going to thaw and make them embryos, they need to provide a marriage certificate and a birth permit. Following the CCTV post, the debate picked up steam, with many people complaining the government was violating single women’s right to bear children.

Li Yinhe, a well-known Chinese sexologist, argued that the government’s regulation is outdated. “The Constitution states clearly that citizens are entitled to reproductive rights, and no legislation has ever said that single women can’t have babies.”

“Single women’s reproductive rights have not exactly been in the public eye； in the recent past most women would get married in their early 20s to avoid their parents’ ire. But today, the number of unwed women has grown dramatically and more women are realizing they have a right to children without marriage,” Li says.

Considering the policy limitations, many medical experts also suggest young women should not try this procedure, citing health risks and ethical reasons.

The procedure for retrieving eggs may cause complications such as hemorrhaging, inflammation, ovarian function damage, and the recovery rate of

“THE NUMBER OF UNWED WOMEN HAS GROWN DRAMATlCAllY AND MORE WOMEN ARE REAllZlNG THEY HAVE A RlGHT TO CHllDREN WlTHOUT MARRlAGE”frozen eggs after thawing is 70 to 80 percent, says Sun Xiaoxi, a doctor at the Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital of Fudan University, adding that freezing the eggs may also

have uncertain effects on offspring.

Lu cares more about the potential children’s lives more than the potential mother, but expresses this in potentially problematic terms by saying, “A complete family is the foundation of personal happiness.”

But as people are struggling to climb over these policy walls, those inside point out how hard it is to be a single mother in China overall, which is perhaps an even more harrowing hurdle than the policy barrier. The national policy that forbids single women from having children through supplementary methods is just the start of the problem.

Tan Xiumi, 30, an unwed mother who lives in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, with her five-year-old child, can only summon a bitter smile when talking about the issue of “single women’s reproductive rights”. “Single ladies

without kids today will agree with having baby outside of marriage, but they won’t think that way after really having kids,” Tan says.

“Even if someday, the ban on the use of IVF is lifted, trust me, it’s unlikely that single mothers and their children will enjoy the same kind of life,” she says. “There are institutional barriers and discrimination against single mothers.”

Five years ago, when her boyfriend broke up with her and she found herself pregnant, she made the decision to give birth, and the first problem she faced was a financial one. To get a hukou, or household registration, for their children, unwed mothers have to pay a fine—known as a “social maintenance fee”—designed for couples who violate family planning policies.

Under China’s household registration system, a hukou is the very foundation of a person’s right to live, receive education, work, and claim social welfare. Without hukou, the children are classified as “illegal”, lacking any existence in a legal sense, let alone the rights accorded to a citizen.

Normally, parents need to show a birth permit issued by a neighborhood committee to get a hukou. But single mothers who never got married cannot get a birth permit because it requires a marriage certificate.

The only way left for Tan to get her child legal status is to pay the fine, which varies from three to six times the disposable income per capita of the area the previous year. Living in Nanjing, Tan was required to pay 150,000 RMB in social maintenance fees in 2010. In 2014, she spent every penny of her savings and borrowed 20,000 RMB from her parents to pay the fine.

But not everyone waits in silence for their fine. On June 21, Father’s Day, Wu Xia and Shen Bolun, anunmarried couple with a child, launched a crowd-funding campaign that quickly became a media sensation.

Wu and Shen decided to separate when Wu was 17-weeks pregnant and they wanted to keep the baby. Without a marriage certificate, they needed to pay a fine of 43,910 RMB. Though the crowd-funding post from Shen was taken off the internet within 24 hours, such an act drew wide attention. They did not raise enough money, but Shen said their intention was not just fundraising.

The fierce discussion was what they wanted. “We always believed that it was unreasonable to bond reproductive rights with a marriage form. As a citizen, I want people to discuss whether we can enjoy the same reproductive rights as married individuals. As a parent, I want my kid to obtain his legal identity in a decent way,” Shen says.

Money can be a tough problem to sort out, but it’s not the hardest. There are, of course, people like Mary who are able to surmount the financial hurdles, but social maintenance fees are not the whole picture.

Papers like DNA evidence to identify the paternity are also required.

“Unknown” or “unavailable” aren’t taken as an answer. This means that women who become pregnant out of wedlock but can’t get in touch with the father (far from a rare occurrence) still can’t register a hukou for their children.

There are simply not many practical options left to them. Some take the abortion route in order to avoid endless problems. There are also some reports of unmarried mothers abandoning their new-born babies in the most appalling of ways.

In 2013, a one-year-old boy was abandoned by his mother in a train station in Beijing. According to the Beijing Morning Post, train staff found a note inside the boy’s backpack, left by his unmarried mother, who explained that the pressure of raising a child was unbearable and that she was too embarrassed to bring the child back to her parents’home. Xiong Jing, an official with Feminist Voice, a Beijing-based NGO focusing on women’s rights, says that unmarried childbirth usually hurts mothers more than the fathers. “The children are bonded with their mothers because of the pregnancy and delivery process, so mothers take more responsibilities and pay a higher price than their partners,” says Xiong.

The difficulties posed by regulations force this minority group to fight for their own rights. Last year, on May 11, Chinese Mother’s Day, six unmarried mothers from across the country sent a proposal letter to 32 provincial and municipal governments demanding equal treatment, particularly in terms of hukou issuance for their children.

Some government officialshave stood by unmarried mothers. Last November, Huang Xihua, director of the Huizhou Tourism Bureau in Guangdong Province and deputy to the National People’s Congress (NPC), together with five other deputies sent a proposal letter to the general offices of the NPC Standing Committee, demanding the removal of social maintenance fees imposed on unmarried mothers. They argued that the regulations concerning social compensation fees have no legal basis.

Last year, after Tan managed to get her boy, Huahua, a hukou, the question of school began. The principal of the school she picked suggested she take her child to a joint interview. “They asked the boy to write down both his mother’s and father’s name and the school system requires both parents to attend a ‘parents’ interview’,” she says.“I managed to get through the interview with many explanations, but the process was not pleasant at all.”

“Sometimes I feel regret,” Tan laments, “doubting my decision to give birth to him while not being able to offer him a complete family.” Such regrets are exactly why so many people oppose granting unwed women reproductive rights in the first place.

Tan points out that unmarried mothers face unconscious discrimination and judgment. “Back in my hometown village in Hubei, even pre-marital sex makes people look at you in a different way.”

There are over 3,000 active users on the Baidu Tieba forum for “unmarried mothers”, where moms of all ages and situations gather to share their stories and concerns. Marriage is one of the most widely-discussed themes. Facing discrimination and inconvenience, many long for love and family, but chasing the experience can hurt.

One of the unmarried mothers, surnamed Tang, posted her experience of a blind date in a QQ chat group formed by unmarried mothers. According to Tang, the man was not good-looking or rich. “Still, I wanted to talk with him to learn more about his personality. But instead he became the one to judge me, telling me he would need to ‘raise another man’s child’ if he agreed to start a relationship with me. I was furious.”

Others replied to her experience, criticizing the man and the stereotypes of unmarried mothers. The sense of solidarity is palpable, with most concluding that they don’t need those sorts of men to live their lives and be happy.

Yang Juhua, a professor of sociology with the Renmin University of China, says that, in China, none of the authorities have paid much attention to unmarried mothers due to traditional beliefs and family planning policies. And although the number is reliably increasing, there are no statistics from which to build a new policy foundation.

Some young women do not think carefully before pregnancy and encounter many difficulties afterwards, but some qualified women, mature and financially secure, should be given the right to have their own babies, Yang says. “Some social beliefs and forms of discrimination are hard to eradicate, but at least the government can clear the institutional barriers for unmarried women, making their lives easier.”

But even with all the discrimination and policy hurdles, change is happening. Just a few months ago, Central China’s Hubei Province issued a new policy stating that applications for birth certificates will no longer require a marriage certificate. The population and family planning regulations of Jilin Province, amended in 2014, say clearly that nonmarried women without a child who decide not to get married can have a child via IVF. With the recent abolishment of China’s one-child policy, change is very much in the air.

It is hard to say what these changes mean for women like Mary, whose leisure time is still occupied with the ongoing party of the single life. The celebrity’s egg-freezing story has become old news and the constant whirlwind of online debate churns endlessly with new topics.

For Mary, the biggest change in her life is that she has registered on a matchmaking site. “Maybe I’m too old to fight against social conventions, but I still want an easier life and want to promise my child a complete family.”

“l WANTED TO TAlK WlTH HlM TO lEARN MORE ABOUT HlS PERSONAllTY. BUT lNSTEAD HE BECAME THE ONE TO JUDGE ME, TElllNG ME HE WOUlD NEED TO ‘RAlSE ANOTHER MAN’S CHllD’ lF HE AGREED TO START A RElATlONSHlP WlTH ME. l WAS FURlOUS.”

mental health

xīnlǐ jiànkāng

心理健康

psychotherapy

xīnlǐ liáofǎ

心理疗法

depression

yìyùzhèng

抑郁症

psychiatrist

jīngshénkē yīshēng

精神科医生

mental health counselor

xīnlǐ zīxúnshī

心理咨询师

bi-polar disorder

shuāngxiàng qínggǎn zhàng'ài

双向情感障碍

Many depression sufferers are not willing to see doctors.

Hěnduō yìyùzhèng huànzhě dōu bú yuàn kàn yīshēng.

很多抑郁症患者都不愿看医生。

Many Chinese psychiatrists tend to give patients prescriptions rather than psychotherapy.

Zhōngguó de jīngshénkē yīshēng qīngxiàng yú gěi bìngrén kāiyào, ér búshì yòng xīnlǐ liáofǎ.

中国的精神科医生倾向于给病人开药，而不是用心理疗法。

tattoo

wénshēn

纹身

apprenticeship

xuétúqī

学徒期

stigma

bù guāngcǎi de

不光彩的

skin

pífū

皮肤

artist

yìshùjiā

艺术家

indigenous

tǔshēng tǔzhǎng de

土生土长的

Tattoos had a social stigma attached to them.

Wénshēn céng bèi kànzuò shì bù guāngcǎi de shì.

纹身曾被看作是不光彩的事。

Tattoo artists have to go through an apprenticeship.

Wénshēn yìshùjiā dōu xūyào jīnglì yí duàn xuétúqī.

纹身艺术家都需要经历一段学徒期。

monetization

biànxiàn

localize

běntǔhuà

本土化

World of Warcraft

Móshòu Shìjiè

魔兽世界

fantasy

huànxiǎng

幻想

role play

juésè bànyǎn

角色扮演

paid games

fùfèi yóuxì

付费游戏

US game companies are trying to localize their products in China.

Měiguó de yóuxì gōngsī shìtú ràng tāmen de yóuxì zài Zhōngguó běntǔhuà.

美国的游戏公司试图让他们的游戏在中国本土化。

gamers realize their fantasies in role playing games.

Wánjiā zài juésè bànyǎnlèi yóuxì zhōng shíxiàn tāmen de huànxiǎng.

玩家在角色扮演类游戏中实现他们的幻想。

freeze eggs

l

ěngdòng luǎnzǐ

冷冻卵子

unwed woman

wèihūn māma

未婚妈妈

fertility difficulty

shēngyù kùnnan

生育困难

Unwed women resort to freezing eggs to fight for their reproductive rights.

Wèihūn māma tōngguò lěngdòng luǎnzǐ lái zhēngqǔ tāmen de shēngyùquán.

未婚妈妈通过冷冻卵子来争取他们的生育权。

reproductive rights

shēngyùquán

生育权

social maintenance fee

shèhuì fǔyǎngfèi

社会抚养费

birth permit

zhǔnshēngzhèng

准生证

Chinese women have to get a birth permit before giving birth to a child.

Zhōngguó fùnǚ shēng háizi zhīqián bìxū qǔdé zhǔnshēngzhèng.

中国妇女生孩子之前必须取得准生证。

变现