别担心，你在互联网的过去不是那么难堪

By Kyle Wagner

Theres something on the internet that you desperately[绝望地，拼命地] want to keep everyone from seeing. Something youre deeply embarrassed of. That would show all your friends how youre not actually as smart and fashionable and ironically selfaware as you pretend to be. And you really ought to get over it.

We all have stuff like this. Maybe its a gross Facebook album from college. Or a Xanga or Livejournal or Blogger account， or a dance you did， or an a cappella[没有乐队伴奏] YouTube video. Or， god forbid， your dating profile.

So whats the underlying holdup we have about this stuff？ On one hand， yes， yours are the same skeletons everyone else has tried to scrub from the web. But just the same， they leave you feeling impossibly exposed[暴露的]—especially ones where you really tapped into your feelings， like those old personal blog entries[条目]. And its all kind of earnest for the way the internet works now， where youre required to maintain a constant ironic detachment. Which is true. But at some point， all that earnesty really betrays is that youre a human being with human feelings.

Still， its a tough sell. I asked Gawkers advice maven[专家，行家]and wonderful person Caity Weaver what she thought （while she was starving and all crazy， she asked us to specify）， and she said， “Oh my God that is like my greatest nightmare. People are vicious[恶毒的] animals.” But isnt everyone an awkward mess， and doesnt it just end up being endearing？“I meeeaannnn， I would not want that to happen to me， even with your sweet logic. I guess it depends how embarrassing. If your life was just boring， then enjoy your boring life， no one cares.”

Point taken. But how boring is anyones life， really？ No one you know whos spent any amount of time on the internet—or really， any amount of time being a human being， because humanity is inherently[天性地，固有的] sad and creepy and idiotic[愚蠢的]—is without humiliating memories. And the thing is， the entire internet， basically， has declared embarrassment bankruptcy. Theres just too much stupid now， ours and the worlds， to really shame you the way you feel you deserve.

Thats relegated what at one time might have been lifescarring bungles[粗制滥造] into pieces of digital ephemera[蜉蝣]. Or actually， diluted[冲淡的] the idea of embarrassment to the point that your polemic[争论] about how all these haters need to back the hell off of Travis Barker is basically the internet equivalent of those pictures your mom has of you when she used to dress you up like a baby duck whenever she took you to the mall， or that Homecoming lip sync video she refuses to let die. You bristle when theyre brought up， but ultimately， theyre usually more fun than they are mortifying unless youre a huge closet racist. Obviously， this doesnt include things that can actually cause material damage to you， your loved ones， or your career.

So you can go on imagining your past being held up to the internets magnifying glass as a total nightmare. But unless you were doing something especially anatomical with that Labradoodle， no ones going to be half as embarrassed for you as you are of yourself. So embrace it. Own it. No one likes the girl whos too cool to make funny faces in pictures.

在互联网上有一些你压根不想让人看到的内容，那些会让你感到十分尴尬的东西。那会让你的朋友觉得你并不是所表现出的那样聪明、时尚或者自恃清高。其实这真的没什么大不了的。

我们多多少少都有过这样类似的经历：也许是大学时代传上Facebook的粗俗的相册，也许是Xanga、Livejournal和Blogger这些博客、社交网站的账户，又或者是一段跳舞视频，Youtube上的清唱视频等等。抑或是，上帝，你的恋爱约会档案。

那么这些事的底线在哪儿呢？一方面，是的，你的那些信息就和其他那些努力将难堪事从网上删除的人们的信息如出一辙。但与此同时，这些难堪事让你感到不应该公开化，特别是你倾注了真情实感的东西，像是过去的博客条目。如今，因特网会诚实地展现这一切，而你，则需要保持自讽的态度以求脱离。这确实存在，但从某些方面来看，（因特网的这种）诚实的展现曝光的是你作为一个人所带有的真实情感。

尽管如此，这仍很难让人买账。我咨询过Gawker的专家凯迪·威尔的意见，她是一个很好的人。（当时她饿疯了，让我们长话短说。）她说，“噢，天啊，那就像我最大的噩梦。人们都成了猛兽。”但不是所有人都搞得一团糟并最终落得不讨喜的吗？“我的意思是，我不希望这事发生在自己身上，甚至按照你这逻辑。我想还是取决于那事有多难看吧。如果你的生活本来就很乏味，那么就继续享受乏味的生活吧，没人会在意的。”

言之有理。但是一个人的生活能有多乏味？在你认识的人中，那些每时每刻都泡在网上，或是每时每刻都在展现真我的人，都有过屈辱的过去，因为人性本恶，人生本来就是恐怖及愚蠢的。重点是，基本上整个网络已经宣布难堪破产了。现在网上有太多糗事了，我们自己的，或是其他人的，以至于对你都没有预期中那么大杀伤力了。

你觉得会令你抱恨终身的糗事不过是一堆照片。事实上，这并不是那么尴尬，就像你批判那些愚昧的人过分推崇Travis Barker（一位热衷于挑战人体极限的摇滚明星）那样，就像幼时你妈妈将你打扮成一只小鸭子去逛街时拍的照片，或者是那些她一直保留的返校节对嘴型的视频。当他们提及时，你会怒发冲冠，但最终，除非你是极端的民族主义者，他们都不过是个玩笑罢了，并不会让你受屈辱。显然，这些病不包括那些会让你、你的爱人以及事业造成实质性损害的部分。

所以你可以继续想象你的过去被互联网紧紧抓住并被放大是一场噩梦。但是除非你做过一些诸如解剖拉布拉多犬的恶事，那么没人会像你那么难堪。所以，包容吧，接受吧，没人喜欢一个冷冷的连拍照都不愿做鬼脸的姑娘。