对“青年危机”说不

by Tyler Mahoney 译/Fiona Cai

毕业后站在人生新的十字路口，前途未卜，希望渺茫，突然发现自己并非无所不能，胸中的书生意气在现实的打击下不断消磨，于是迷茫、焦虑、恐惧等各种情绪轮番来袭——这是每个人在成长中都会经历的阵痛。此时，也许过来人的经历能为你点燃一盏心灯，帮你安然度过这段四分之一人生处的“危机”。

It was 6 a.m. on March 13， 2009. I leapt from my bed knowing both Yale and Harvard had responded to my graduate school applications. Sitting at my kitchen table， I logged in， waited， knowing my future was on the line1） in two emails. My heart sank. I had been rejected by both schools. Like many men would do in these situations， I picked up my guitar and played the blues， and a catharsis2） came over me. It was the worst year to graduate from college since the Great Depression， and like most of my classmates that year I found myself with no job prospects and little hope. In the months that followed， I received my B.A. in theology and religious studies， applied for 30 jobs， got two interviews， and no job offers.

Welcome to real life. It inevitably happens， and it often invariably sucks. Generation Y3） experiences a distinctly Millennial kind of existential crisis. This is more than a coming of age4） tale in the style of The Graduate or Garden State； the moment when you have to face adulthood. I call this the “six month slap in the face，” though it is more commonly called the “quarter-life crisis.” It hits at the end of a tough break up， the minute you lay your hands on a $120，000 diploma， the middle of a family emergency， or your first day on the job. The paroxysms5） of terror you feel may be the first time you discover your own non-invincibility， the day you cease to be a stubborn Sisyphus6） and become a falling Icarus7）. And you feel like everyone around you is getting engaged and has a better job. It sucks.

You might be a hotshot grad from a top college， yet still find yourself yearning for more， trying to accomplish a task just out of reach. Last year， I had an opportunity to launch an online start-up， and it was no cakewalk8）. Though it was loads of fun， it ate all of my time. One can only work 80～90 hours for so many weeks. My time management skills were embarrassingly bad， and my relationships with family and friends suffered. My name was in several national newspapers， and I had nothing but an empty apartment and the early stages of carpal tunnel9） to show for it.

My quarter-life crisis ended with a return to academia： Im now a graduate student who mainly reads， writes and takes photos. How does one last through months of uncertainty， depression and the occasional pangs10） of chest-crushing anxiety？ The following survival techniques have helped me through the quarter-life crisis.

Walk It Off

You must obey the basic needs of your body. Facing the toughest moments of your twenties practically requires proper diet and exercise. I cant emphasize the importance of physical health enough. Take the time to run for 30 minutes， three times a week. Im no medical professional， but Id imagine that even they have a hard time measuring the amount of stress that running can destroy. Fast food will not make you feel good. Throw your junk food away and buy fruits and vegetables. Does any sane diet reject veggies？ No. Changing your diet for the better helps.

I fight anxiety off with evening walks. Twenty minutes of fresh air and contemplation goes a long way11） to restoring mental health. If that doesnt work， journaling to organize your thoughts helps， even if its just to get your ideas out of you. Coping methods are important and are by no means weaknesses.

Hold the Course

Dont make major decisions when times are really tough. Changing directions repeatedly is a great way to get stuck in the quarter-life crisis. Making major life changes to get out of the QLC is a quick fix， which， like so many quick fixes， can prolong your problems. You might move to a new city， transfer to a new college， drop out or quit your job. But if youre bummed out12） or depressed， your mind is not sound. Serious life decisions should wait for the calm after the storm， lest you make rash decisions that leave you with regrets later.

Perseverance is a virtue. At several times in my grad school career， when my papers piled high and my prospects looked bleak， I was ready to quit. But each of those times I put my nose to the grindstone13） and worked harder. In those stressful times I had difficulty contemplating perseverance， but sticking with my commitments has only made me stronger.

Stick Together

You shouldnt go it alone. Life will repeatedly slap you in the face during your quarter-life crisis， but good company will soothe your swollen cheeks. Your friend groups will shift after college， and you will keep in touch with those you care about and lose touch with others. We are social animals： dont pretend youre the only one going through this episode. Lean on others， demand home cooked meals， and breathe every once in a while.

Many of us will find ourselves in new environments where we dont know anybody. Cure yourself of your isolation. Volunteer at a local organization like the Boys and Girls Club14） or a community center. You are bound to find other twenty-somethings， and the law of averages15） guarantees that some of them will be fun people. When times got tough and I knew I needed to keep my mind busy， I started taking pictures again and took on a volunteer gig16） at a community center.

A Satisfied Mind

I was eventually accepted by my top choice for grad school， Duke University. Though I was waitlisted at first， I continued sending extra letters of recommendation and called them until I got in. Spamming17） is apparently an effective admissions tactic. Perseverance paid off， but dont think of perseverance as some kind of fundamental disposition. Margaret Wheatley， a well-known organizational consultant says， “Perseverance is a choice. Its not a simple， one time choice. Its a daily one. Theres never a final decision.”

Hang in there18）. You cant plan your whole life out. Most of the opportunities that will come your way will happen randomly. In the end hold on to what is important， or to quote one of my favorite songs， “Money cant buy back your youth when youre old， or a friend when youre lonely， or a love thats grown cold. The wealthiest person is a pauper19） at times， compared to the man with a satisfied mind.”

那是2009年3月13日，早上六点。我从床上一跃而起，因为我知道耶鲁和哈佛已经对我的研究生申请给出了答复。我坐在餐桌前，登录邮箱，等待着，知道自己岌岌可危的未来就在这两封邮件里。然后，我的心沉到了谷底。两所学校都拒绝了我。面对这样的情形，我和大多数人的反应一样，拿起吉他，弹起蓝调，顿觉感情得到了宣泄。自经济大萧条以来，那一年大学毕业生面临的形势最差。和当年的大多数同学一样，我发现自己就业前景惨淡，希望渺茫。在接下来的几个月里，我获得了神学与宗教研究专业的学士学位，申请了30份工作，获得了两个面试机会，但没有收到任何录用通知。

欢迎来到现实生活。现实中的一切不可避免地发生，也总是一成不变地糟糕透顶。Y代人所经历的是“千禧一代”特有的一种生存危机。这种危机远非影片《毕业生》或《情归新泽西》中所呈现的有关成年的故事可比，而是到了你不得不面对成年的时候。我称之为“六个月的打击”，尽管更普遍的说法是“青年危机”。在一次艰难的分手后，在你抚摸着用12万美元的学费换来的一纸文凭时，在家里出现紧急事件时，在第一天上班时，这种危机都会给你当头一棒。那突然袭来的恐惧感也许就出现在你第一次发现自己并非不可战胜的时候，在你不再是执着的西绪福斯而成为坠落的伊卡洛斯的时候。你觉得仿佛身边的所有人都在订婚，都找到了比你好的工作。那种感觉真是糟透了。

也许你是名校毕业的高材生，但你发现自己仍渴望得到更多，试图完成力不能及的任务。去年，我有机会在网上创业，这可不是件容易的事。尽管创业充满乐趣，但它却吞占了我所有的时间。每周要工作80～90个小时，一个人也就只能坚持那几周。我的时间管理能力差得让我难为情，而我与家人和朋友的关系也因此变得糟糕。虽然我的名字出现在了好几份国家级报纸上，但我除了有一个空荡荡的公寓，并患上了早期腕管综合症外，没有任何东西可炫耀的。

随着我重返校园，我的“青年危机”才终于画上了句号：现在的我是一名研究生，每天主要做的就是阅读、写作和摄影。那一个人怎样才能熬过长达数月的不确定感、沮丧情绪以及偶尔袭来的让人心中阵阵作痛的焦虑不安呢？我能安然度过“青年危机”，多亏了下面这些生存技能。

散步解忧愁

你必须遵从身体的基本需要。面对二十几岁时最艰难的日子，你需要合理的膳食和适当的运动，这一点很实际。再怎么强调健康体魄的重要性都不为过。拿出点时间跑步，每周三次，每次30分钟。虽说我不是医学专业人士，但我料想即使医生也难以测出跑步能够纾解多少压力。吃快餐不会让你感觉开心，扔掉你的垃圾食品，去买水果和蔬菜吧。有哪种健康饮食是把蔬菜剔除在外的吗？没有。改善饮食习惯对你很有帮助。

我是通过晚间散步来消除焦虑感的。20分钟的清新空气和沉思对于恢复心理健康大有裨益。如果这样不管用，你可以通过记日记来整理思绪，哪怕只是把你的想法写出来。应对危机的方法很重要，这绝不是软弱的表现。

坚定自己的道路

不要在非常艰难的时候做重大决定。频繁地改变人生方向会使你深陷“青年危机”而无法自拔。通过做出重大人生转变来摆脱“青年危机”是个快速见效的方法，但和很多快速见效的方法一样，这样做只会拖延问题。你可能会搬到一座新的城市，转到一所新的学校，辍学，或是辞掉工作。但是当你烦躁或沮丧的时候，你的头脑是不清醒的。要做出重大的人生抉择，你应该等心中的风暴平静下来，否则草率做出的决定会让你日后后悔不已。

坚持不懈是一种美德。在研究生阶段，当我面对堆积如山的论文，想到自己前途渺茫时，我有好几次都做好了退学的准备。但是每次我都选择埋头苦读、加倍努力。在那些充满压力的日子里，我很难做到坚持不懈，但坚守自己的承诺只会让我变得更加坚强。

不要独自面对

你不该独自面对“青年危机”。经历“青年危机”时，生活会不断地打击你，但好友的陪伴会抚慰你的创伤。大学毕业后，你的朋友圈会发生变化。你会和你关心的人保持联系，与其他人则失去联络。我们是社会动物：不要装作只有你一个人在经历这个人生阶段。依靠他人的帮助，请求朋友给你做几顿家常菜，偶尔让自己喘口气。

我们中的很多人会发现自己处于一个新的环境，周围都是陌生人。不要把自己孤立起来。你可以去当地的一些机构做志愿者，比如男孩女孩俱乐部或者社区活动中心。在那里，你肯定能遇到其他二十多岁的人。根据常规，他们之中总会有几个风趣幽默的人。当日子变得艰难时，我意识到要让自己忙碌起来，所以我重拾了摄影的爱好，并志愿在社区活动中心服务。

常怀满足之心

我最终如愿进入我的第一志愿——杜克大学读研究生。尽管起初我被列入了候补名单，但我坚持给对方发送额外的推荐信，给他们打电话，直到我被录取。大量发送垃圾邮件显然是获得录取的有效策略。坚持到底终究会有收获，但不要认为坚持是人的某种本性。著名的组织顾问玛格丽特·惠特利说：“坚持是一种选择。它不是简单的一次性选择，而是每天都要做出的选择。永远没有最终的决定。”

坚持下去。你不可能把整个人生都规划好，你将遇到的大多数机会都是随机出现的。最后，牢牢把握重要的东西，或者如我最喜欢的一首歌中所唱的那样：“当你老去时，金钱无法换回你的青春；当你孤独时，金钱无法买到一个朋友；当情已冷却时，金钱无法买回曾经的爱。与内心满足的人相比，腰缠万贯的人有时也一贫如洗。”

1. on the line：（指工作、职业、名誉等）面临风险，岌岌可危

2. catharsis [k??θɑ?（r）s?s] n. 陶冶，净化（美学用语，亚里士多德倡导的由艺术作用引起的精神净化或情感解脱）

3. Generation Y：Y代人，通常指出生于1970年代末或1980年代之后的人，又称“千禧一代”。

4. come of age：成年，达到法定年龄

5. paroxysm [?p?r?k?s?z（?）m] n. （感情等的）突发

6. Sisyphus：西绪福斯，是希腊神话中的人物。他因具有卓尔不凡的智慧惹恼了众神，被惩罚将大石推上陡峭的高山。但每次当他快要把大石推到山顶时，石头就会从他手中滑落，他因此干着无止境的劳动。

7. Icarus：伊卡洛斯，希腊神话中的人物。在与父亲利用蜡翼飞离克里特岛时，他因飞得太高，双翼上的蜡被太阳融化，不幸坠海而亡。

8. cakewalk [?ke?k?w??k] n. 易如反掌的事情

9. carpal tunnel：这里指腕管综合征（carpal tunnel syndrome）。

10. pang [p??] n. 一阵极度的痛苦；猛然发生的感觉

11. go a long way：有很大作用，大有帮助

12. bum out：〈美俚〉使灰心丧气；使烦躁

13. put ones nose to the grindstone：（使某人）一刻不停地拼命干

14. Boys and Girls Club：男孩女孩俱乐部，美国全国性的公益组织，成立于1860年，致力于增进会员健康，培养其社交、教育、职业和个性能力。

15. law of averages：（事物变化的）常规；（人的）行为惯例

16. gig [ɡ?ɡ] n. 工作，任务

17. spam [sp?m] vt. 向……大量发送垃圾邮件

18. hang in there：〈口〉不泄气，坚持下去

19. pauper [?p??p?（r）] n. 赤贫的人