2023年6月大学英语四、六级作文试题评析（三）

贾从永

四        级

Directions： Suppose the student union of your university is organizing an online discussion on interpersonal relationships. You are to write an essay on ways to maintain a warm and friendly relationship with your classmates and on the benefits of such a relationship. You will have 30 minutes for the task. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

这道大学英语四级作文试题要求考生论述如何维持温暖而友好的同学关系以及这种关系的益处，但一篇四级作文只能有一个重点，我们应该把题目中的哪一点作为本文的重点呢？一般来说，只有在充分分析原因的基础上提出的措施才具有针对性和可行性，所以我们最好把维持温暖而友好的同学关系的益处（即为什么要维持温暖而友好的同学关系）作为本文论述的重点。至于如何维持这样的同学关系，我们只需在结尾段中简洁地提出一条措施即可。

本文可以写三个段落。第一段提出本文所要讨论的话题。我们可以首先指出温暖而友好的同学关系对一个人的大学经历有着巨大的影响。接着引用上海大学的一项研究作为证明——和人际关系弱的学生相比，与同学关系牢固的大学生学习成绩更好，承受的压力也更小。

第二段论述维持温暖而友好的同学关系的益处。我们在论述一个观点时要有分类意识，即善于从不同的方面或层面展开论述。就本文而言，我们不妨从学习成绩和心理健康两个方面展开。首先，积极的同学关系能够显著地帮助大学生在学习方面取得成功。为了增加说服力，我们需要对这方面略作展开：当一个大学生与同学关系密切，他会更有动力上课和参加课堂讨论，从而有助于他更深刻地理解教材。其次，相互支持的朋辈网络可以减轻大学生的压力、焦虑和孤独感，从而改善他的心理健康。总之，大学生总能够从友好的同学关系中受益。

本文可以用措施法结尾，即提出解决问题的方法。第三段可以指出维持温暖而友好的同学关系的黄金法则是乐于助人。当同学遇到困难时，要向他们伸出援助之手。这是巩固持久关系的可靠方法。下面请看参考范文：

A warm and friendly relationship with classmates makes a huge difference in ones college experience. According to a Shanghai University study， college students with strong relationships with their classmates demonstrated higher academic achievement and reported lower levels of stress compared to those with weak social connections.

A positive peer relationship is a significant contributor to academic success. When a college student has a close relationship with his classmates， he is more likely to feel motivated to attend classes and engage in class discussion， which helps him to gain a deeper understanding of the teaching material. Plus， a supportive peer network alleviates a students stress， anxiety and feeling of isolation， thus improving his mental well-being. In a word， a college student is bound to gain from establishing rapport with his fellow students.

As to how to maintain a warm and friendly relationship with your classmates， heres a golden rule： Be helpful！ Always lend a helping hand to your schoolmates when they are in difficulty. It is a sure way to cement a lasting relationship. （173 words）

語言亮点借鉴：

1. A positive peer relationship is a significant contributor to academic success. 积极的同学关系是促成学业成功的一个显著因素。

2. Plus， a supportive peer network alleviates a students stress， anxiety and feeling of isolation， thus improving his mental well-being. 此外，热心支持的朋辈网络可以减轻学生的压力、焦虑和孤独感，从而改善他的心理健康。plus另外。这是一个表示并列关系的过渡词语。thus improving his mental well-being是一个现在分词短语作状语，表示结果。

3. In a word， a college student is bound to gain from establishing rapport with his fellow students. 总之，大学生一定能从与同学建立的融洽关系中受益。be bound to do sth 一定会做某事。gain from从……中受益。establish / build up / develop （a） rapport with sb与某人建立融洽的关系。

4. It is a sure way to cement a lasting relationship. 这是一个巩固持久关系的可靠方法。cement加强，巩固。

六        级

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay that begins with the sentence “Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health.” You can make comments， cite examples or use your personal experiences to develop your essay. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

这道大学英语六级作文试题要求考生论述的话题是人们越来越意识到心理健康需要与身体健康一样受到重视。我们在審题时要善于简化题目，抓住本质。这道题的本质是要求考生论述心理健康的重要性。抓住了这个本质，我们就可以从心理健康对人们的身体健康和工作表现的影响的角度展开论述。

这篇作文可以写三个段落。第一段先指出现在人们越来越意识到心理健康需要和身体健康一样受到重视。然后我们援引上海大学的一项研究来说明心理健康问题的严重性——四分之一的该校学生报告在上一年经历了影响他们学业的焦虑、沮丧和孤独。

第二段论述心理健康的重要性。我们可以先指出心理健康和身体健康一样重要，然后从心理健康对身体健康和工作表现的影响来阐述其重要性。我们可以采用正反论证，即从正反两方面进行说理，通过对比来增强说服力。首先，心理健康的人往往享有身体健康。作为对比，我们接着指出有心理健康问题的人则很难保持身体健康，比如长期有心理压力的人经常有各种身体健康问题。其次，心理健康还非常有助于在工作中表现出色，因为快乐的工人通常效率更高。相反，有心理健康问题的人经常难以集中精力、保持有条理和与同事进行交流。在严重的情况下，心理健康问题甚至造成失业。

本文可以用建议法结尾，即第三段提出解决问题的建议。考虑到心理健康在人们的生活中所起的重要作用，卫生部门必须采取有效措施以确保人们在感情上痛苦时能够容易地得到专业的咨询。下面请看参考范文：

Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. A recent Shanghai University survey found that one in four of its students reported experiencing anxiety， depression or loneliness that affected their studies in the preceding year.

The health of the mind is just as important as the health of the body. Mentally fit people tend to enjoy good physical health. People struggling with mental health challenges， however， can hardly stay physically well. For example， people suffering from chronic stress often have physical health problems. Plus， good mental health is a strong contributor to good performance at work， as happy workers are usually more productive. Conversely， people afflicted with poor mental conditions often struggle to concentrate， stay organized and communicate with co-workers. In severe cases， mental health problems can even lead to job loss.

Considering how much of a role mental health plays in peoples life， it is imperative that health authorities take effective measures to ensure that people have easy access to professional counseling when they are emotionally distressed. （179 words）

语言亮点借鉴：

1. A recent Shanghai University survey found that one in four of its students reported experiencing anxiety， depression or loneliness that affected their studies in the preceding year. 上海大学最近所做的一项研究发现，四分之一的该校学生报告在上一年里经历过影响他们学习的焦虑、沮丧或者孤独。affect（尤指不利地）影响。

2. Mentally fit people tend to enjoy good physical health. 心理健康的人往往享有身體健康。tend to do sth往往做某事。

3. Conversely， people afflicted with poor mental conditions often struggle to concentrate， stay organized and communicate with co-workers.反过来，有心理问题的人经常难以集中注意力、保持井然有序和与同事交流。conversely反过来，是做正反论证时的常用过渡语。struggle to do sth艰难地做某事。

4. Considering how much of a role mental health plays in peoples life， it is imperative that health authorities take effective measures to ensure that people have easy access to professional counseling when they are emotionally distressed.考虑到心理健康在人们生活中所起的重要作用，卫生部门必须采取有效的措施，以确保人们在感情痛苦时能够容易地得到专业的咨询。it is imperative that...最重要的是……，当务之急是……；这是提建议的一个常用句型。

* 上海外国语大学国际新闻硕士，讲师，专注大学英语写作教学十余年。