跟着名著学续写之家人历险

广东 俞伟玲

人生是一场探索和历险的过程。在各种各样的险境中，我们必须克服恐惧，想尽办法学会自救和寻求帮助才能摆脱困境，渡过难关。本次读后续写之家人历险类专题将以《雾都孤儿》的主角奥利弗为例，讲述他的历险故事。

主题微语境

狄更斯的作品《雾都孤儿》是一部反映生活悲惨的现实小说。在伦敦狭小、肮脏的偏僻街道上，在恐怖与暴力中艰难生存的小说主人公奥利弗是一个孤儿，他在孤儿院长大，经历学徒生涯、艰苦逃难、误入贼窝、被迫与狠毒的凶徒为伍等。历尽辛酸，奥利弗最终在养父和姨妈的帮助下，查明身世并获得了幸福。

一、遇险境

△ 奥利弗被当作小偷被捕

1.Oliver, his eyes wide with horror and alarm, watched as the Dodger put his hand in the old gentleman's pocket, took out a handkerchief, and handed it to Charley Bates.Then the two of them ran round the corner as fast as they could.奥利弗惊恐地睁大眼睛，看着小偷将手伸进了老先生的兜里，抽出了一条手帕，递给了查理·贝茨，然后两人绕过拐角尽快地跑开了。

2.Oliver stood for a moment in terror, blood rushing through him until he felt he was on fire.Then, confused and frightened, he started to run.At the same time, the old gentleman, putting his hand in his pocket and realizing his handkerchief was missing, turned round.He saw Oliver running away, so he naturally thought Oliver was the thief.With loud cries of “Stop thief!”, he ran after Oliver with the book still in his hand.奥利弗害怕地站了一会儿，感到浑身的血液加快流动，直到他觉得自己像着了火。然后，他困惑又害怕，开始跑起来。就在这时，老先生把手伸进了裤兜里，发现手帕不见了，便转过身来。他看见奥利弗在逃跑，所以，理所当然地，他认为奥利弗是小偷。他大声地喊着“抓贼！”并追赶着奥利弗，手里仍然拿着那本书。

3.Oliver lay on the ground, covered with mud and dust and bleeding from the mouth,and looked wildly at all the faces surrounding him.At that moment, a policeman arrived and took Oliver by the collar.“Come on and get up,” he said roughly.

“Don't hurt him,” said the old gentleman.

“I won't,” said the policeman, tearing Oliver's jacket half off his back as he lifted him up.

奥利弗躺在地上，浑身上下沾满了泥土和灰尘，嘴里往外流着血，惊慌失措地看着围着他的一张张面孔。就在这时，警察赶来了，抓住奥利弗的领子。“来吧，起来。”他粗暴地说。

“别伤害他。”老先生说。

“我不会的。”警察说着，将奥利弗从地上拉起来，差点儿把他的上衣从身上扯下来一半。

4.Oliver was locked in a small stone cell, which was disgustingly dirty and smelly.奥利弗被锁进了一个石砌的小牢房，牢房里脏极了，气味令人作呕。

下表是奥利弗被当作小偷被捕的一些详细描写分析。

表1 奥利弗被当作小偷被捕

△奥利弗被迫入屋行窃时被枪打伤

1.Oliver, stupid with terror, was lifted through the window into the house.Desperately, he decided to try to run upstairs and warn the family.He began to creep forward.

Oliver stood still, frozen with fear.A light appeared, then two men on the stairs, then a sudden bright flash, and a loud bang.Oliver staggered back.Sikes seized the boy's collar through the window and pulled him back out into the garden.

“They've hit him!” shouted Sikes.“He's bleeding.”

A bell rang loudly, above the noise of more gunshots and the shouts of men.Oliver felt himself being carried across rough ground, and then he saw and heard no more.

奥利弗被吓傻了。他被举起来，从窗户进到房里。绝望之下，他决定试着跑上楼提醒这家人。他开始蹑手蹑脚地朝前走。

奥利弗站在那儿一动不动，吓呆了。一盏灯亮了起来，两个男人出现在楼梯上，接着是一道闪光和一声巨响。奥利弗踉踉跄跄地退了几步。赛克斯将手伸进窗户，抓住男孩的衣领，将他拉回花园里。

“他们打中他了！”赛克斯喊道。“他在流血。”

一阵响亮的铃声盖过了枪声和人的呐喊声。奥利弗觉得自己被人扛着跑过高低不平的地面，然后他什么也看不见，什么也听不见了。

2.Morning came, but Oliver still lay in the field as if dead.It began to rain heavily,and after a while Oliver opened his eyes.His left arm was covered in blood and hurting badly.He felt so weak that he could hardly stand, but he knew that if he stayed where he was, he would die.Gasping with pain, he forced himself to his feet and with slow,shaky steps, began to walk.He had no idea where he was going, and moved forward mechanically, as though in a dream.

He decided he would rather die near human beings than in a cold field, so he turned his steps towards the house.As he came nearer, he realized that the house was familiar and he felt faint with terror.But where else could he go? With a last effort, he crawled up the path, knocked on the door and then fell exhausted on the step.

天亮了，但奥利弗仍像死了一样躺在荒郊野地里。天下起了大雨，过了一会儿，奥利弗睁开了眼睛。他的左臂上全是血，而且痛得厉害。他虚弱得几乎站不起来，但他明白，他如果就待在这里，会死的。由于疼痛，他倒吸着凉气，强迫自己站了起来，迈着缓慢而颤抖的步子开始走。他不知道自己是在走向哪里，只是机械地向前移动着脚步，好像在梦境中一样。

他下定决心，就是死也要死在有人的地方，决不能死在这冰冷荒凉的野地里，于是他转过身朝房子走去。当他走近时，他竟发觉这房子很眼熟，他恐惧得一阵眩晕。可他还能去哪儿呢？他使尽了最后一点力气，爬过小径，敲了敲门，便筋疲力尽地瘫倒在台阶上。

下表是奥利弗被迫入屋行窃时被枪打伤的一些详细描写分析。

表2 奥利弗被迫入屋行窃时被枪打伤

二、解险境

△书店老板作证救下奥利弗

Oliver tried to reply, but he was too weak to speak.He was deadly pale, and he felt the room spinning round him.At last he managed to whisper a request for water, but the magistrate refused angrily.Suddenly, Oliver fainted and fell to the floor.

At that moment, a man in an old black coat rushed in.“Stop!” he shouted.“Don't take the boy away.I saw it all.I'm the book shop owner.”

Mr Fang's face was black with anger at this unexpected interruption, but the book shop owner demanded to be heard.He described exactly what had really happened.He had seen two boys steal the handkerchief and then run away, leaving Oliver to be arrested.

In a final burst of bad temper, Mr Fang said that his time had been wasted.He announced that Oliver was innocent, and ordered everybody out of the court.

The order was obeyed, and as Mr Brownlow turned to go down the street, he saw Oliver lying on the pavement, shaking, his face as white as death.

“Poor boy! Poor boy!” said Mr Brownlow, bending over him.He called a coach quickly, laid Oliver on the seat, and drove away.

奥利弗想回答，可他虚弱得连话都说不出了。他的脸色极其苍白，他觉得屋子在眼前旋转着。终于，他勉强低声地请求要喝水，但被推事愤怒地拒绝了。突然，奥利弗昏倒在地上。

就在那时，一个身穿黑色旧外套的男人跑了进来。“等等！”他大声喊着，“别把这个男孩带走。事情经过我都看见了。我是书店的老板。”

因为这意想不到的打扰，方先生的脸气得发黑，但书店老板要求听他的陈述。他确切地述说了所发生的真实情况。他看见两个男孩偷了手帕，然后就逃走了，将奥利弗留下来当了替罪羊。

方先生最后一次大发脾气，说他的时间被浪费了。他宣布奥利弗无罪，并命令所有人退出法庭。

命令得到了执行，布朗洛先生转身沿着马路往前走时，看见奥利弗躺在人行道上，全身颤抖着，脸惨白得像死人一样。

“可怜的孩子！可怜的孩子！”布朗洛先生说着，俯下身去看他。他迅速叫来了一辆马车，让奥利弗躺在座位上，他们便乘着马车离开了。

△获得医生的救助和好心人的收留

1.A little later, Oliver woke up and was very anxious to tell his story, although he had lost a lot of blood and was very weak.When the doctor and the ladies had heard all about his sad life, they were quite sure that they wanted to save Oliver from any unfair punishment.过了一会儿，奥利弗醒来了，尽管他失血过多，非常虚弱，但他还是迫不及待地述说了自己的经历。医生和女士们得知了奥利弗悲惨的身世后，便决定要帮助他，使他免受不公正的惩罚。

2.Oliver was allowed to recover in the kind care of Mrs Maylie, Rose and Dr Losberne.It was several weeks before he was well enough to get out of bed.But then he quickly grew stronger, and every day told his rescuers how grateful he was.奥利弗在梅利夫人、罗斯和罗斯伯恩医生的精心护理下恢复了健康。用了好几周的时间，他的病情才好转到能离开床的地步。可从那以后他很快就健壮起来了，每天都跟他的救命恩人们说他是多么感恩戴德。

下表是解险境的一些详细描写分析。

表3 解险境

三、脱险境

△查明身世与亲人相认

1.They left the house in Chertsey and moved to a quiet cottage in the country, taking Oliver with them.Spring came, and in the fresh air, away from the noise and smoke and trouble of the city, Oliver began a new life.He felt as if he had left behind forever the world of crime, hardship and poverty.他们带着奥利弗离开了切特西的这幢房子，搬到了乡下一所安静的小屋。春天来了，这里空气新鲜，远离城市的喧嚣、烟雾和纷扰，奥利弗开始了新生活。他觉得自己好像永远把罪恶、艰辛和贫困的世界抛在背后了。

2.They ran into each other's arms, both of them crying in their happiness.A father, mother and sister had been lost and gained, and it was too much for one evening.They stood for a long time in silence, and the others left them alone.他们拥抱在一起，高兴地流着泪。父亲、母亲和姐妹失去之后又重新得到，这一晚发生的事情太多了。他们长时间地站在那里沉默不语，其他人都不去打扰他们。

3.Mr Brownlow adopted Oliver as his son.They moved to a house in the same quiet village, and were just as happy.布朗洛先生收养了奥利弗。他们搬进了同一个安静的村庄里的一所房子，同样过着幸福的生活。

4.In that quiet country village, the years passed peacefully.Mr Brownlow filled the mind of his adopted son with knowledge, and as he watched the boy grow up, he was reminded more and more of his old friend, Oliver's father.The two orphans, Rose and Oliver,led lives that were truly happy.The hardships that they had once suffered had left no bitterness in their gentle souls, and all their lives they showed the mercy and kindness to others.在那个安静的村落里，岁月平静地流逝。布朗洛先生教给他的养子许多知识，当他看着这个男孩逐渐长大，他愈发想起他的老朋友——奥利弗的父亲。两个孤儿，罗斯和奥利弗，过着真正幸福的生活。他们曾遭受过的艰难困苦并没有给他们善良的心灵留下创伤，在他们的一生中，他们对其他人表现出了同情与善良。

下表是脱险境，查明身世与亲人相认的一些详细描写分析。

表4 脱险境，查明身世与亲人相认

句式微练习

一、主句+独立主格结构（逻辑主语+现在分词），使句式表达多样化，续写的句子更简洁、生动又吸引眼球。

Oliver stood for a moment in terror, blood rushing through him until he felt he was on fire.奥利弗害怕地站了一会儿，浑身的血液加快流动，他觉得自己像着了火。

即学即练

1.It rained cats and dogs, ___________________________(闪电划过夜空).

2.（2022 年全国Ⅰ卷）To our surprise, David ran across the finish line desperately,___________________________(脸上洋溢着满足的微笑).

二、主句+状语+as...as比喻，增强表达的感染力，使描述更生动、形象。

He saw Oliver lying on the pavement, shaking, his face as white as death.他看见奥利弗躺在人行道上，全身颤抖着，脸惨白得像死人一样。

即学即练

1.At the sight of the snake, she jumped onto a tree, ______________________(紧紧抱住，脸色苍白如纸).

2.I raised my own light to shine on the tree, finding a pair of shining eyes staring at me, ______________________(我心跳如鼓).

三、as if/though虚拟句式，使描写的场景更生动。

He felt as if he had left behind forever the world of crime, hardship and poverty.他觉得自己好像永远把罪恶、艰辛和贫困的世界抛在背后了。

即学即练

1.He held her firmly as if ______________________(一个快淹死的人抓住了一根救命稻草).

2.（2022 年全国Ⅰ卷）The audience applauded him as if ____________________(他是一个为荣誉而战的无畏的勇士).

四、构造动作链（主语+动作A， 动作B and 动作C），细化动作，把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作，形成动作链，写出动作的连贯性，使情节更紧凑。

With a last effort, he crawled up the path, knocked on the door and then fell exhausted on the step.他使尽了最后一点力气，爬过小径，敲了敲门，便筋疲力尽地瘫倒在台阶上。

即学即练

1.Jenny quarreled with her mother, slammed the door with rage______________________(在路边忍不住抽泣).

2.(2017 年浙江卷)Some drivers stopped to offered help,______________________(捡起石头，扔向狼), yelling, “get away!”

情境微仿写

（改编自2020 年浙江卷读后续写——夫妻拍摄北极熊时遇险）A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.Roars and screams pierced the silence 1.________(像针一样刺耳).The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror.I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence.He roared repeatedly, 2.________（声音在我们周围回荡）, shattering what was left of the silence.Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear.We huddled together, shivering with fear.After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, he trotted forward a few steps.

At that very moment, the helicopter arrived.My heart leaped with joy 3.________(好像在绝望中出现了一线希望).Elli used pepper spray again to buy us enough time.But the bear became more alert.He turned away, 4.________(如同我们是它的食物一般地盯着我们).As we were climbing the rope ladder, Elli prayed like thousand times to show thankfulness of being safe and sound.

语篇微演练

阅读下列材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。注意续写词数应为150左右。

主题1 与父亲度假骑马迷路的经历

It was summer, and my dad wanted to treat me to a vacation like never before.He decided to take me on a trip to the Wild West.

We took a plane to Albuquerque, a big city in the state of New Mexico.We reached Albuquerque in the late afternoon.Uncle Paul, my dad's friend, picked us up from the airport and drove us up to his farm in Pecos.

His wife Tina cooked us a delicious dinner and we got to know his sons Ryan and Kyle.My dad and I spent the night in the guestroom of the farm house listening to frogs and water rolling down the river nearby.Very early in the morning, Uncle Paul woke us up to have breakfast.“The day starts at dawn on my farm,” he said.After breakfast, I went to help Aunt Tina feed the chickens, while my dad went with Uncle Paul to drive the sheep out to graze (吃草).I was impressed to see my dad and Uncle Paul riding horses.They looked really cool.

In the afternoon, I asked Uncle Paul if I could take a horse ride, and he said yes, as long as my dad went with me.I wasn't going to take a horse ride by myself anyway.So, my dad and I put on our new cowboy hats, got on our horses, and headed slowly towards the mountains.“Don't be late for supper,” Uncle Paul cried.“and keep to the track so that you don't get lost!” “OK!” my dad cried back.After a while, Uncle Paul and his farm house were out of sight.It was so peaceful and quiet and the colors of the brown rocks, the deep green pine trees and the late afternoon sun mixed to create a magic scene.It looked like a beautiful woven (编织的） blanket spread out upon the ground just for us.

Paragraph 1:

Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse._________________________

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Paragraph 2:

We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.__________________________

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主题2 为保护小朋友与美洲狮搏斗

The five children in Larrane Leech's daycare group were outdoors early, painting landscapes under the dizzy sun.By 10 am, it was time to find shade, so Larrane decided they would walk down to the river.

“We're going to pick berries now,” she announced.A nature lover, Larrane insisted they spend as much time as possible outdoors.

Larrane handed each child an empty jar and called for Pal, her one-year-old German shepherd (德国牧羊犬).The group made its way over the dusty road and then onto a dirt path through the trees.They stopped at the first berry bush and got busy picking berries,cheering and talking excitedly.

A young cougar (美洲狮) cocked an ear toward the birdlike chatter and sniffed the air.Stepping over the thick carpet of pine needles, the cougar moved quietly toward the children.

Larrane sensed the children suddenly go quiet.She looked up to see the back end of a cougar, the size of Pal, standing over one child, Mikey.The sight of the cougar near her kids immediately froze Larrane.Larrane couldn't tell whether Mikey had been bitten.Her mind racing wildly, she darted toward the cougar.Desperately intending to grab its tail, she shifted her aim at the last minute and seized the cougar by the neck.She shook it from side to side.Instantly, the cougar wheeled toward Larrane.Growling and hissing, it stretched up high and brought its paws down upon the head of the woman.Although still in its youth, it had all the teeth and muscle a cougar needs to pull down a victim three times its size.This animal was capable of killing her.

Paragraph 1:

Now aware of the danger,the other four children screamed and ran behind Larrane.___

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Paragraph 2:

Larrane rushed to Mikey,who lay quietly on the ground._________________________

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