跟着名著学续写之朋友教育

广东 王宏瑜

在青少年的成长过程中，朋友扮演着重要的角色。本次读后续写将以美国作家文德琳·范·德拉安南创作的《怦然心动》为例，讲述一个起于误会和偏见、终于成长的故事。小说的特别之处在于整个故事是在两个主人公轮流的自述中发展的，让读者从不同的视角看待和思考一件事，感受主人公们不同的心理感受，最终跟着两个主人公一起成长和蜕变。因为是以第一人称进行叙述的，小说中有大量的心理描写和动作描写，值得我们学习和借鉴。

主题微语境

二年级时相遇的朱莉·贝克和布莱斯简直就像进入了两个平行时空。朱莉在看到布莱斯那蓝眼睛的一瞬间，心就被击中了。不幸的是，布莱斯从一开始就对朱莉的热情避而远之，甚至觉得她和她的家都有点邋遢。而且，他认为朱莉有点怪，怎么会有人把养鸡和坐在树上看成乐趣呢？没想到，到了八年级，布莱斯开始觉得朱莉不同寻常的兴趣和对家庭的自豪感使她显得很有魅力。而朱莉则开始觉得布莱斯漂亮的蓝眼睛也许和他本人一样，其实很空洞。在经历了一系列温馨而有趣的事件之后，两个孩子都开始重新认识彼此和这个世界了。

一、偏见/误解

1.All I've ever wanted is for Juli Baker to leave me alone.For her to back off—you know,just give me some space.一直以来我最大的希望就是让朱莉·贝克离我远一点。让她走开一点，给我点私人空间。

2.The first day I met Bryce Loski,I flipped.Honestly,one look at him and I became a lunatic.第一天见到布莱斯·洛斯基，我心动了。老实说，只看他一眼我就错乱了。

3.Her shoes were like caked with the stuff.She didn't hop out, though.Instead,she planted her rear end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet.她的鞋子上沾满了脏东西。但是她并没有跳下去，相反，她一屁股坐下去开始用脚推一个箱子。

4.It's his eyes.Something in his eyes.They're blue, and framed in the blackness of his lashes,they're dazzling.Absolutely breathtaking.是他的眼睛。他眼睛里的东西。蓝色的眼睛，镶嵌在黑色的睫毛中间，是那么耀眼，太让人惊艳了。

5.Finally, I break free and do the only manly thing available when you're seven years old—I dive behind my mother.我终于挣脱开，做了七岁男孩唯一能做的充满男子气概的事——躲到妈妈身后。

6.I was too excited not to charge across the street, but I did try very hard to be civilized once I got to the moving van.I stood outside looking in for a record-breaking length of time,which was hard because there he was!我太兴奋了以至于无法抑制自己不冲到街对面，但当我看到开过来的面包车时，我非常努力地想表现得文明有礼。我站在外面向里张望了大概能破纪录的时间，那已经很难了，因为他就在那里。

7.You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you, all inside you,and you're floating.Floating in midair.And the only thing keeping you from drifting away is the other person's eyes.They're connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away.你知道的，就像整个世界在围着你转一样，在你脚下，在你的身体里，你的身体漂浮起来了，飘在半空中。唯一有一样能防止你飘走的东西就是那个人的眼睛，他的眼睛和你的眼睛通过一种无形的力量连接在一起，那双眼睛紧紧地抓住你，而世界的其余部分在不断地旋转直到彻底消失。

8.But before I got up the nerve to look, she blasted right past me, grabbing my arm and yanking me along.但是在我还没有勇气抬起头看的时候，她猛冲过来，抓住我的胳膊并把我拉到一边。

9.You see,I caught up to him and grabbed his arm,trying to stop him so maybe we could play a little before he got trapped inside, and the next thing I know he's holding my hand,looking right into my eyes.My heart stopped.你看，我追上他，抓住他的胳膊，试图拉住他跟他玩一会儿，省的他被困在屋子里出不来。可是下一刻我能记得的就是他牵着我的手，直直地看着我的眼睛，我的心脏都停止了跳动。

表1 偏见/误解

二、影响/反转

△成长的瞬间

1.The higher I got,the more amazed I was by the view.我爬得越高，越为眼前的景色所惊叹。

2.Some days they'd (the sunsets) be purple and pink, some days they'd be a blazing orange, setting fire to clouds across the horizon.It was on a day like that when my father's notion of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts moved from my head to my heart.有时它们（晚霞）是紫色夹杂着粉色，有时它们散发出橘红色的火光，点燃天边的云彩。在一个那样的日子里，我突然领悟到爸爸关于整体胜于局部之和的道理。

3.Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss.But every once in a while you find someone who's iridescent,and when you do,nothing will ever compare.有些人平庸浅薄，有些人金玉其外而败絮其中。但不经意间你会遇到一个绚烂如彩虹的人，从此以后，其他人不过是匆匆浮云。

△反转

1.When she walked out of the door, I thought back to the first time I saw her.How could anybody,ever,had wanted to run away from Juli Baker.当她走出门去，我想起了第一次见她时候的情景。怎么会有人要躲着朱莉·贝克呢！

2.And I realized Garrett was right about one thing:I had flipped.Completely!我意识到加勒特有一件事是对的：我心动了，彻底地！

三、成长蜕变

△布莱斯的变化

1.And I got so nervous about having nothing to say that my heart started going wacko on me,hammering like it does right before a race or a game or something.对于说不出话这件事我太紧张了，以至于我的心开始狂跳，就像我马上要开始赛跑或者比赛之类的事情的时候一样。

2.I sat down across from her,feeling pretty low.Why hadn't I said something to Garrett in the library?我坐在她的对面，心情极其低落。为什么我之前在图书馆就没对加勒特说点什么呢？

3.I managed a nod, but my arm was tingling, and my heart was pounding, and I felt myself pulling toward her.Then she was gone.I tried to catch my breath.What was that?What was wrong with me?我勉强点了点头，但是我的胳膊在刺痛，我的心在狂跳，我感到自己在不自觉地靠近她。然后她就离开了。我试图喘口气，这到底怎么回事？我到底怎么了？

4.They were just...real.And who were we? There was something spinning wickedly out of control inside this house.It was like seeing inside the Bakers' world had opened up windows into our own, and the view was not a pretty one.Where had all this stuff come from? And why hadn't I ever seen it before.他们很真实。而我们又是谁？这个家里有什么东西邪恶地旋转着，失去了控制。就好像通过看贝克一家的世界，也为我们自己的世界打开了一扇窗户，而窗外的景观并不太好看。这些难看的东西到底从哪里来？为什么之前我没有看见？

表2 布莱斯的变化

△朱莉的变化

1.Friday at school I avoided the blue-eyed brat the best I could, but that night as I got dressed,I found myself staring at the painting my father had given me and became furious all over again.Bryce had never been a friend to me, ever! He hadn't made a stand for the tree,he'd thrown away my eggs,and he'd made fun of me at my uncle's expense...星期五在学校的时候，我尽可能地避开那双蓝色的眼睛，但是那晚当我换衣服时，我发现自己盯着那幅爸爸给我的画，又变得很生气。布莱斯从来没把我当成朋友。他没有为那棵树力挺我，他扔掉了我的鸡蛋，还因为我叔叔取笑我……

2.He said hi to me and I lost it.I spun on him, snapping,“Don't you speak to me! I overheard you and Garrett in the library,and I don't want to talk to you now or ever!”他跟我打招呼，我没理他。我猛回身，厉声说道：“不要跟我说话！我听到你和加勒特在图书馆说的话了，我从今往后都不想跟你说话了！”

3.Our eyes locked for a minute, and for the first time the blueness of his didn't freeze up my brain.我们对视了大概一分钟，他那双蓝眼睛第一次没有让我的大脑停止运转。

表3 朱莉的变化

句式微练习

让动作描写更生动

构建续写情节时，细致到位的动作描写，可以让读者联想出画面，引人入胜，增强感染力，使描述更生动形象。

1.谓语动词的并列+非谓语

I tried to shake her off, but she just clamped on tight and yanked me along, saying,“C'mon!”我试图甩开她，但是她双手紧紧地抱住我，一路拉着我，说道：“来嘛！”

2.巧用before和while等连词突出动作的迅捷

I'd slump beneath the window and pray for the light to change before Juli squealed my name for the world to hear.我躲在窗下，祈祷在朱莉尖叫着让全世界都听到我的名字之前灯赶紧熄灭。

3.利用局部肢体刻画慢动作

She planted her rear end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet.“Don't you want some help?”她一屁股坐在地板上，开始用双脚推一个大箱子。“你不需要帮助吗？”

即学即练

1.(2021 年新高考Ⅰ卷)They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil__________________________(他们一边做法式吐司).

2.(2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷) After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him ______________________as he ______________________(朝我走来，当他向前摆动双脚时，他小小的身体左右摇晃).

3.(2016 年10 月浙江卷) ________________(现在感到有点力气了),Jane began to_____________________________(开始沿着小溪走，希望它能将她引向湖边).

情境微仿写

Then came the Rajasthan IV trip which was our official last trip.During the trip, we intentionally avoided each other.However,1.________________（我忍不住一直瞥向她）when she turned back and I sensed the same.2.________________（尴尬像阴影一样沉重）.3.________________（我一个人低着头坐着，突然有一个人走近了).I looked up,4.________________（惊讶地发现Rishi 在我面前）.5.________________（红着脸，她打破了安静）,“I am sorry again.I didn't mean to hurt you.”6.________________（泪流满面）, she continued,“I should have talked to you earlier.”7.________________（我站起来伸出手拥抱她）,“I am sorry, too.I should have been more generous.”At that moment,we both realized we were an indispensable part of each other's life.

It's been almost 7 years after graduation since we picked up our friendship.Looking back, 8.________________（我依然很感激她迈出与我和好的那一步).Till now, she has been one of the few people I can trust and count on.Our major offered us the same background so that we supported each other in our professional development.Of course,we had argument from time to time.But 9.________________（在内心深处）, we both know 10.________________（所有的争吵都是在帮助我们变成更好的人而不是敌人）.Therefore, we both learned to be tolerant and brave enough to always forgive.If we really value our friends and friendship, 11.____________________（永远珍惜他们的存在）and show willingness to maintain and nurture the relationship.

语篇微演练

阅读下列短文，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写文章，使之构成一篇完整的短文。注意续写词数应为150左右。

主题1 迥然不同的搭档

（2022 年1 月浙江卷）When Dr.Henderson was assigning（指定）project mates for his psychology class, I secretly hoped he would pair me with my best friend or at least a classmate I could have some fun with.Above all,I hoped he wouldn't assign me to work with the fiercely competitive and extremely serious fellow who always wore dark clothes and apparently had a personality to match.As fate（命运）would have it, Dr.Henderson very deliberately matched everyone in class and announced that I would be working with the one person in class I wanted to avoid.

I went up to my new teammate and introduced myself.He looked at me as though I weren't there.I felt he treated me as though I would hold him back and probably make him fail to get an A in the course.He wasn't mean or abusive;he just gave me the impression he could do whatever project we dreamed up better if he did it alone.

Needless to say,I didn't look forward to an entire term of being brushed off,but I tried to make the best of it and didn't say anything for fear that I would make things worse.

The project required each team to develop a hypothesis（假说）, set up an experiment to test the hypothesis, do the statistical analysis and present the findings.Whatever grade the team received would be shared by both students.

When my teammate and I met to discuss our project,I was uneasy.Here was this challenging student who had a reputation for single-mindedness and good grades—the exact opposite of me.I actually wanted to drop the class at one point, but stopped short because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of my chickening out.I decided to stick to it no matter what.

After long discussions,we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological wellbeing of teenagers.I wasn't sure what it meant exactly,but at least we had a topic.

Paragraph 1:

We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans._____________________________

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Paragraph 2:

One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease.____________

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主题2 音乐天才遇知音

The whole class burst out laughing as Mohi rushed into the classroom.He was a strange sight.His half-buttoned white shirt showed a red striped nightclothes underneath,and instead of white school shoes, he wore a pair of bright green sandals (凉鞋) that were two sizes too big.The physics teacher's hands froze in the middle of writing something on the blackboard.Mohi said in very low voice,“Sorry,Teacher,”and went to his seat.Mr Tan glared at the rest of the students.The laughter quickly faded.

Mohi's classmates always looked forward to Mondays.Nine times out of ten, they would be entertained by Mohi's late arrival and his strange appearance which usually included inappropriate clothing.

Mohi lived just a street away from the school.He walked to school daily.Students passing by in buses would call his name together just to see him jump and stop in his tracks.When he spotted the merry bunch in the bus, he would wave good-naturedly.Although Mohi was likable, he was too lost in his own thoughts to make friends.His classmates found him amusing but they ignored him most of the time.Only Hamed,who sat next to Mohi,tried to be his friend.

The following Monday,Mohi did not turn up at school.His classmates were a little disappointed but quickly forgot about him.After school, Hamed decided to walk over to Mohi's house to check on him.As he approached the gate,he could hear violin music.Mohi must be listening to music, he thought.The gate was not locked.Hamed let himself in.He called Mohi's name a few times but there was no response.The music played on.Hamed peered (窥视) in through a window.His eyes widened in surprise.In the middle of the living room, Mohi was playing the violin.His eyes were closed in concentration as he drew the bow over the strings expertly.He played so flawlessly that it sounded like a recording.Hamed left quietly.

Paragraph 1:

When Teachers' Day came around,Hamed had a plan.________________________

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Paragraph 2:

Today,Mohi is a student pursuing music and Hamed is still his best friend.__________

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