弗朗兹・赖特作品

2023-08-22 07:03董继平
散文诗 2023年9期
关键词:郭尔克尔凯书卷

◎董继平 译

刀 刃

如果我把它盯得够久, 在我不知道怎样称呼它的时候, 那个时刻就会来临, 一种容易发生撕裂的状况, 就像舌头的失误。 那时, 一滴血可能会在一杯水里巨浪般翻腾、 汹涌, 在丝绒般的爆炸中绽放, 把无色、 无味、 无来源的恐惧赋予它——而我就在那种恐惧中醒来。

BLADE

If I stare into it long enough, the point comes when I don’t know what it’s called, a condition in which lacerations are liable to occur, like a slip of the tongue; when a single drop of blood might billow in a glass of water, blooming in velvet detonation and imparting to it the colorless, tasteless, and sourceless fear in which I wake.

紫藤之雨, 你的孩子母亲在哪里? 这肯定是大地上的最后一只蜜蜂。 因此在这里, 你再也没有发现壮观或神秘? 也许你忽视了带来壮观或神秘。 诘问的麻雀, 无风的水上蠓虫形成的广阔的电子云。 用一种没人阅读的语言写成夜晚蓝色的书卷……我们还疲倦吗? 你结束跟坚称光芒并不存在、 而且有证据的盲人的争论了吗?没有人孤独, 上帝才孤独。 如果你喜欢诞生, 你就会热爱死去。

SONG

Wisteria rain, where is your child-mother? This must be the last bee on earth. So, you find no more grandeur or mystery here?Perhaps you neglected to bring any. Heckling sparrows, vast electron cloud of gnats on windless water. Night blue volume in a language no one reads……Are we tired yet? Are you finished debating the blind who insist that light doesn’ t exist, and have proof of it? Nobody’ s alone, God is alone. If you liked being born, you’ ll love dying.

被遗弃的图书馆

我进入的那一刻, 那天文数字一般巨大但数量精确的词语开始重现, 它们唯一未知的蜂巢, 慢慢在它们合拢的书页上逐渐形成。 查出这一点, 我们显然回归到了荣誉制度, 没有人在书桌上工作, 而且在这整座庞大的建筑物里面, 找不到一个工作人员。也找不到读者。 这样的情况持续那样久了? 如果没有人渴望去重新研读这些词语, 那就多么奇怪——他们都去哪里了? 即便是那些你总能期望的可怕的、 隐居的、 带着蛛网的生物, 也消失了。一个人禁不住疑惑, 那个名字古怪、 严肃的小书呆子, 这些日子在干嘛呢? 就此而言, 那个缺席的伟大死者的测心术者, 在家里或其他任何地方并不特别受欢迎, 出来, 出来吧。 到今天, 始终孤零零的, 通过占星解读的? 正是如此。 很抱歉。 但我回来了,几乎我尽管不是同一个人了, 却对你们大家都保持忠诚。 我读了很多。 读了更多。 我的身体高了。 我丑陋。 我疲倦。 如果没有人看见我, 我就不在这里, 我在吗。 如果没有人在附近, 我就陌生未知, 我就孤零零的, 纯粹是我自己的一根骨头, 我自己的幽灵。 我再次很慢地行走, 仿佛是在水下而行, 而且非常小心, 就像在被指定去帮助盲童找到教室的时候。 显然, 我们仍在搜寻, 可怜的躯体, 就看看你都变成什么样了。 在一排排积满灰尘的书卷中间永远来回漫游, 左顾右盼, 某一个标题逃避我们, 我们寻找的那个标题, 仿佛就是我们渴望看见的亮着黄色灯光的窗口, 那个我们并没被期盼出现的地方, 一场轻雪开始飘落, 不是现在, 也并非永远。

ABANDONED LIBRARY

Hive of the single unknown astronomically large but precise number of words that begin reappearing the moment I enter, slowly developing on their closed pages. And check this out, clearly we’ ve reverted to the honor system, nobody manning the desks, and in all of this gigantic building not a single staff member to be found. No readers either. Has it been that long? And if no one has the desire to peruse these words ever again, it is so strange-where did they all go? Even those grim recluse cobwebby beings you could always count on, gone. And one can’t help but wonder, what is he up to these days, grave little bookworm with the odd name? Not particularly welcome at home, or anywhere else for that matter, mind reader of the great dead by default, come out, come out. Always alone, to this very day, star-told? That’s correct. Sorry. But I have come back, faithful to all of you-I’ m not the same one, almost though.I have read more. A lot more. I am taller. I’m ugly. I’m tired. And if nobody sees me, I am not here, am I. And if no one is near,I’m unknown, I’m alone, a mere bone of myself, my own ghost.And I am walking again, very slowly, as though underwater, and taking much care, as when assigned to help the blind kid find his classroom. Evidently we are still searching, poor body, just look what’s become of you. Wandering forever up and down the rows of dusty volumes, glancing left and right, a certain title escaping us,one which we seek as if it were the yellow-lit window we long to see, that place where we are not expected, a light snow beginning, not now, and not ever.

克尔凯郭尔建议

克尔凯郭尔走进了他的前门, 便试图把自己吱吱嘎嘎地锁在里面, 就在此时, 他突然感到最后一片幽暗的启示的巨浪袭来:要是上帝最伟大的祝福就是去让一个人的存在如此不堪, 如此完全彻底地无法忍受, 以至于他下一次碰巧探索令人熟悉的死亡恐惧, 他就发现它已然消失了, 到处都找不到了, 实际上被一种他早就遗忘了的自己能感受的、 简单健康安乐的失重感所代替了,那又会怎样呢。

KIERGAARD PROPOSES

The older Kierkegaard has entered his front door and is creakily attempting to lock himself in when it comes over him all at once,one last great wave of gloomy illumination: what if God’s greatest blessing is to render a person’s existence so intolerable, so completely unendurable that the next time he happens to grope for the familiar fear of dying, he discovers it is gone, is nowhere to be found, has in fact been replaced by a simple weightless sense of well-being and peace he had long forgotten he was capable of feeling.

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