《傻子出国记》（节选）

文/马克·吐温 译介/赵喜梅

By Lyons and the Sâone (where we saw the lady of Lyons and thought little of her comeliness), by Villa Franca, Tonnere, venerable Sens, Melun,Fontainebleau, and scores of other beautiful cities, we swept, always noting the absence of hog wallows, broken fences,cow lots, unpainted houses, and mud,and always noting, as well, the presence of cleanliness, grace, taste in adorning and beautifying, even to the disposition of a tree or the turning of a hedge, the marvel of roads in perfect repair, void of ruts and guiltless of even an inequality of surface—we bowled along, hour after hour, that brilliant summer day,and as nightfall approached we entered a wilderness of odorous flowers and shrubbery, sped through it, and then,excited, delighted, and half persuaded that we were only the sport of a beautiful dream, lo, we stood in magnificent Paris!

不论在里昂和索恩河畔（我们于此一睹里昂女士容颜，却未觉其美）、在维拉弗兰卡酒店、在托内尔、在历史悠久的桑斯古城、在默伦、在枫丹白露，还是在其他美丽的城市，环顾四周，不见坑洼路面、残垣、牛场，也不见未漆的房舍和淤泥，入眼的是整洁、优美，还有装饰和点缀的不俗品味，就连树的排列甚或树篱的转角都很考究；道路修整得十分完美，令人叹为观止，没有车辙，甚至无地面不平整之虞——在那个明媚的夏日，我们连着几个小时疾驰，夜幕降临时，我们进入芳香四溢的花田和灌木丛，极速穿行前进，之后，既兴奋又欢欣，不敢相信我们美梦成真了，瞧，我们站立在大巴黎了！

2What excellent order they kept about that vast depot! There was no frantic crowding and jostling, no shouting and swearing, and no swaggering intrusion of services by rowdy hackmen.These lattergentry stood outside—stood quietly by their long line of vehicles and said never a word.A kind of hackman general seemed to have the whole matter of transportation in his hands.He politely received the passengers and ushered them to the kind of conveyance they wanted, and told the driver where to deliver them.There was no “talking back,” no dissatisfaction about overcharging, no grumbling about anything.In a little while we were speeding through the streets of Paris and delightfully recognizing certain names and places with which books had long ago made us familiar.It was like meeting an old friend when we read “Rue de Rivoli” on the street corner; we knew the genuine vast palace of the Louvre as well as we knew its picture; when we passed by the Column of July we needed no one to tell us what it was or to remind us that on its site once stood the grim Bastille, that grave of human hopes and happiness, that dismal prison house within whose dungeons so many young faces put on the wrinkles of age,so many proud spirits grew humble, so many brave hearts broke.

2他们将诺大的火车站维持得如此有序！没有乱哄哄的拥挤推搡，也没有叫嚣咒骂，更没有粗声大气的车夫为揽客载客而横冲直撞。这些绅士作派的车夫站在外面——安静地立在他们的大队车马旁，始终一言不发。似乎有个类似车夫总管的人掌控着整个运送工作。他友好礼貌地迎接客人，把他们引向心仪的车马，然后告知车夫将他们送至何处。这儿听不到“回嘴”，也没有嫌怨价高的不满或任何的牢骚。没过多久我们便穿行在巴黎的街巷，开心地辨认某些在书中久见、耳熟能详的名字和地方。经过街角看到“里沃利街”字样时，仿佛邂逅了故友；看到名不虚传的宏伟卢浮宫，就像看到了它的图片一般熟悉；经过七月铜柱，不消别人告诉我们它是什么，亦无须他人提醒这里以前矗立着阴郁可怖的巴士底狱——那座人类希望与幸福之墓，在那阴森的地牢中，多少年轻的面庞随时光流逝渐生皱纹，多少骄傲的灵魂变得卑微，多少勇敢的心破碎。

3We secured rooms at the hotel, or rather, we had three beds put into one room, so that we might be together, and then we went out to a restaurant, just after lamplighting, and ate a comfortable,satisfactory, lingering dinner.It was a pleasure to eat where everything was so tidy, the food so well cooked, the waiters so polite, and the coming and departing company so mustached, so frisky,so affable, so fearfully and wonderfully Frenchy! All the surroundings were gay and enlivening.Two hundred people sat at little tables on the sidewalk, sipping wine and coffee; the streets were thronged with light vehicles and with joyous pleasure-seekers; there was music in the air, life and action all about us, and a conflagration of gaslight everywhere!

3我们在旅馆里订好了房间，确切地讲，我们将三张床放入了一间房，如此三人便可一起了。之后我们去了饭店，华灯初上，慢悠悠享用了晚餐，感到惬意满足。饭店里的一切整齐干净，食物烹调得那么可口，侍者彬彬有礼，来往的人们则三两成伴，留着那样的胡子，那般快乐、那般可亲，好不法式，实在是法式！周遭的一切都那么愉悦和充满生气。两百人坐在街边的小桌旁，浅啜啤酒，慢饮咖啡；街上轻便车辆和快活的寻欢人川流不息；空气中飘荡着音乐，周遭充满活力与生机，煤气灯连成万家灯火！

4After dinner we felt like seeing such Parisian specialties as we might see without distressing exertion, and so we sauntered through the brilliant streets and looked at the dainty trifles in variety stores and jewelry shops.Occasionally, merely for the pleasure of being cruel, we put unoffending Frenchmen on the rack with questions framed in incomprehensible jargon of their native language, and while they writhed we impaled them, we peppered them, we scarified them, with their own vile verbs and participles.

4晚餐后，我们想去见识下巴黎特色，那些不用过分劳累就能见识的。就这样，我们在灯火闪耀的大街小巷随意溜达，到各种商店和珠宝店欣赏那些精致的小玩意儿。偶尔，仅为博一乐而搞恶作剧，我们用法语中难解的黑话编成问题提问，故意给无辜的法国人难堪，见他们出糗，我们又用他们自己那可恨的动词和分词将他们戳痛，火上浇油，留下阴影。

5We noticed that in the jewelry stores they had some of the articles marked“gold” and some labeled “imitation.”We wondered at this extravagance of honesty and inquired into the matter.We were informed that inasmuch as most people are not able to tell false gold from the genuine article, the government compels jewelers to have their gold work assayed and stamped officially according to its fineness and their imitation work duly labeled with the sign of its falsity.They told us the jewelers would not dare to violate this law,and that whatever a stranger bought in one of their stores might be depended upon as being strictly what it was represented to be.Verily, a wonderful land is France!

5我们注意到，珠宝店里，有些物品上面标了“金”字样，有些上面贴着“仿”标签。我们惊诧于这满满的诚实，还专门就此打听了一番。我们得知，因为大多数人不会辨别金制品的真伪，政府责令珠宝商对金制品进行鉴定，根据成色在其上做出正式标记，相应地，仿品也应附有仿真标牌。他们还告诉我们，珠宝商不敢违令，而且，陌生的客人无论从哪家店里购买了什么，都必须名副其实。法国真乃奇妙国度啊！

6To close our first day in Paris cheerfully and pleasantly, we now sought our grand room in the Grand Hotel du Louvre and climbed into our sumptuous bed and read and smoked—but alas!

6巴黎之行的第一日接近尾声，我们找到自己在卢浮大酒店那气派的房间，爬上豪华大床，准备读几页书，吸几口烟，以此结束这欢快的一天——可是，唉！

真是扫兴，

满城都有煤气灯，

偏偏我们房间里没有。

没有煤气灯读书——只有昏暗的蜡烛。真是美中不足。我们试图安排翌日的游玩路线；我们认真破解法文版《巴黎指南》；我们前言不搭后语地聊着，想理清当天参观的繁杂景点和一路的旅行感受，结果徒劳无功；我们只好静静地吸烟；大家哈欠连天，伸起懒腰——然后疲累无力地恍惚起来，我们果真在闻名遐迩的巴黎吗，接着便昏沉沉坠入神秘浩渺的虚空中，人们称其为睡眠。 □