英语应用文写作——启事

赵伐

【写作任务】

假定你是李华，是某国际学校的音乐俱乐部（Music Club）负责人。为了提升同学们的音乐欣赏水平并扩大俱乐部的影响力，该俱乐部决定招纳新成员，请你用英语写一则纳新启事，内容包括：（1）纳新时间和地点;（2）对新成员的要求;（3）俱乐部的活动。

【学生原文】

Members Wanted

Members are wanted for Music Club⑴. Those interested can sign up at the Club office before this Friday.

Basic requirements for member⑵are enthusiasm in music⑶ and capacity of playing at least one kind of instrument. Once you become part of us， you’ll be able to participate in a wide range of activities ranging from⑷enjoying various music every Thursday to sharing your favorite songs with other club members every Friday.

Every⑸student qualified is welcome to join us！

Music Club

【赵教授批改】

（1）Members are wanted改为New members are wanted。但这种写法，以及后面的Those interested can sign up... 读起来显得比较impersonal，不够亲切。用被动式就会产生这种效果。另外，be wanted让人联想到“缉拿”（英语国家通缉罪犯的布告就用这个表达）;建议改为New members are welcome to our Music Club！

（2）Basic requirements for member are改为Basic requirements for successful candidates include. 因为member指已经是成员了，而successful candidates指即将成功地作为成员。

（3）requirement指a quality or qualification that one must have in order to be allowed to do something or to be suitable for something（做某事或适合做某事的必备条件，包括品质、素质、资格、能力等），但enthusiasm是指情感，不是品质或能力。这句话可以改为Basic requirements for successful candidates include the capacity of playing at least one kind of music instruments， plus enthusiasm in music.

（4）這句话用了两个range，属于赘述（redundancy），改为participate in activities ranging from... 或participate in a wide range of activities from… to...;另外，various music改为various music works/pieces.

（5）every的意思是“所有人（没有例外）”（each and all of the members of a group considered singly and without exception），语气有强迫之嫌，改为Anyone qualified is welcome to join us.

【总结】

这则启事写得不错，清楚明了，几个要点都写到了。存在的问题主要在语言上，如用词须更准确、避免赘述等。