小幽默

杨扬

All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music， so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable， she treated everyone to lemonade， cake， chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach， she said to little Sally， “Have you enjoyed yourself today？”

“Oh， yes， miss！” said Sally， “It was lovely. All except the music， that is.”

除了音樂

一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗？”

“噢，好极了，小姐，”萨莉说：“除了音乐其它都很好。”

These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet， a woman felt really good about herself—especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.

“Look， look，” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband. “I can wear my old jeans again.”

Her husband looked at her for a long time， when said， “Honey， I love you， but these are my jeans.”

那是我的裤子

一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。

她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”

她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”

All I Do Is Pay

“My family is just like a nation，” Mr. Brown told his colleague. “My wife is the minister of finance， my mother-in-law is the minister of war， and my daughter is foreign secretary.”

“Sounds interesting，” his colleague replied. “And what is your position？”

“Im the people. All I do is pay.”

我要做的一切就是付钱

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就像一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长，我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说：“那你的职务是什么呢？”

“我就是一个要付钱的普通人。”

Visitors Day

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitors Day， most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming， but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitors Day， the warden called George to his office and said， “I notice youve never had any visitors， George.” Sympathetic， he put his hand on Georges shoulder. “Tell me， dont you have any friends or family？”

George replied， “Oh， sure I do， Warden. Its just that theyre all in here！”

探视日

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？”

乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”

（浙江杭州〓杨〓扬〓供稿）

小幽默