My Family

Hello， Im Liu Dongdong from Luoyang Middle School. My family is not rich， and① I love it very much.

There are three people in my family. They are my mother， my father and me. My father and my mother are in the same school. My mother is thirty-six years old. She is a teacher. She likes red， but she doesnt like red shoes. My father is thirty-seven years old. He is a teacher， too. He teach② P.E. And he is good in③ ping-pong. He often plays ping-pong with me after school. I am a student. I like music and P.E. I like singing best.

What about your family？

江苏省连云港市罗阳中学七（1）班 刘栋栋

本期点评名师

陈传光 男，江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师，从事教育工作逾15年。江苏省教育学会会员，连云港市优秀教育园丁;曾获英语专业技能大赛市一等奖，班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;指导学生在各类竞赛中取得了不错的成绩，多人获得省级奖和地市级奖。

1. 优點：

本文是一篇介绍家庭的文章，层次分明，思路清晰。小作者开篇表示非常热爱自己的家，接着介绍了妈妈和爸爸的年龄、工作及爱好。但是本文介绍作者本人的篇幅比较少，可以适当增加一些对自己的描述。结尾通过设置问题“What about your family？”紧扣主题，形成首尾呼应。本文是一篇值得借鉴的范文。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①and改为but。此处上下文是转折关系。

②teach改为teaches。he是第三人称单数代词，故使用teaches。

③in改为at。be good at是固定结构，意为“擅长……”。

3. 评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准，本文修改前可得22分。