汪万芹
众所周知,做好读后续写的前提是充分理解已给的阅读材料,只有读懂所给材料,才能续写好后面的内容。从历年的续写题来看,原文都是故事类的记叙文,记叙文的阅读方式有相对固定的模式,下面举例说明读什么,怎么读。
阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Alex stared through the cabin(小木屋)window at the darkness. Soon his dad would call him.“Were ready,”Dad said as he came in from the passage.“Grab your pole.”Alex turned away from the window and slowly picked up his fishing pole.
“We should have done this before,” Dad said.“Lets go catching a big one! Maybe we can see some rare insects and animals, such as fireflies(萤火虫)and whippoorwills(夜鹰)!” Dad picked up his tackle box, pole, and bait(饵)can from the passageway.
They walked down the hill toward the lake. The only thing Alex could see was the circle of weeds and rocks at their feet.
Insect voices filled his ears. Hundreds of insects waited in the dark to attack.“Mosquitoes,”Dad said. “I brought some spray(喷剂)to keep them off.”
Suddenly something rushed past Alexs head. He gasped. “What was that?”
“Probably a bat,”Dad said.
“Will bats be flying around our heads the whole time?” “This is their time to be out catching insects,”Dad explained. “They wont hurt you.”He pushed the boat off the small stones and jumped in.
Dad rowed to the middle of the lake and stopped. “Well just let the boat drift(漂流)for a while. Keep the flashlight in the bottom of the boat. The fish wont bite if they see light flashing around. When weve done baiting our hooks(鉤), well turn the light off.”
Leaning down to get closer to the light, Alex tried to thread a worm on his hook, but he couldnt seem to work his fingers right. So what if the worm(蠕虫)was only partly on the hook? He didnt want to fish anyway. He didnt even want to be here.
Dad switched off the flashlight, and the night fell over them like a heavy cape(斗篷).“I cant see anything,”Alex said weakly.
“The moons half full. It gives us some light,”Dad said.
Alex looked up. Surely enough, there was the moon. And he could see the shoreline and the dark forms of trees.
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
Looking into the trees on the shore, Alex noticed tiny points of light twinkling(闪烁)there.
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Paragraph 2:
Alex didnt answer. He had never heard such an odd, exciting birdcall--sad but zippy(活泼的).
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一、速讀——抓要素,理情节
对于记叙文的六要素,即5W1H的问题,大家一定很熟悉,因此,在快速阅读原文后,不难找到人物、时间、地点、事情、原因、方式,如下表。
二、细读——知人物,找冲突
第二遍细读,目标是找到反映人物性格特点的描写,包括人物的动作、对话、心理等(如下页表)。在第1段中,Dad说了两个简短的句子“Were ready,” “Grab your pole.”,反映出他对夜钓的期待与兴奋;而Alex则是slowly picked up his fishing pole,slowly一词则表明他的态度与父亲截然相反,他没有那么高兴,似乎是不情愿地做了爸爸的跟班。
从第4段前两句Insect voices filled his ears. Hundreds of bugs waited in the dark to attack看出,Alex对于夜晚的野外环境非常陌生,感到危机四伏,觉得“在黑暗中成百上千的虫子会伺机攻击”他;对于他的反应,Dad说“Mosquitoes,” “ I brought some spray to keep them off.”这里,我们是不是能看出Dad非常熟悉野外自然环境,应对蚊子叮咬很有经验?同时,细心的读者也能借助同理心,看出父亲很关注儿子的反应,耐心帮助他克服障碍。同理,在接下来的5~7段关于bats的问题讨论,通过父子间的对话,勾勒出儿子对于大自然缺乏了解而感到害怕,和父亲对大自然了如指掌形成鲜明反差。
以上是举例说明在第二次阅读中,要留意找到反映人物性格特点的描写,大家可以用不同颜色的笔标示出不同人物的描写,然后用关键词总结出人物的性格,如下表:
“没有冲突,不成故事”,好故事会借助冲突来展现人物并揭示主题。从以上人物性格分析可以清楚地看出,故事到此展露出两方面的冲突:一是人物之间的冲突,对于夜钓,兴冲冲的爸爸和不情愿的儿子;二是人物与环境的冲突,Alex对野外环境的陌生和恐惧。在这二者中,后者是主要冲突,因为一旦解决了Alex与大自然的冲突,即他不再害怕大自然,那么,也就很自然地会转变对于夜钓的态度。
三、定发展与结局
找到了冲突,也就为后面的续写提供了方向,基本上,接下来的两个段落中,一段要交代故事的继续发展,另一段则交代结局。
这时,阅读两段的段首句十分重要。第一段首句:Looking into the trees on the shore, Alex noticed tiny points of light twinkling there. 读到这里,我们不禁要问:What are those tiny points of light? 根据本句的提示the trees和twinkling,结合前文描写夜晚的野外自然环境,再联系我们对大自然的知识,不难推断出这些一闪一闪的光点就是萤火虫。接着,我们要问:What will Alex feel about them? Will he still feel afraid of them?
再看续写的第二段首句:Alex didnt answer. He had never heard such an odd, exciting birdcall--sad but zippy(活泼的). 显然,这里有人问了Alex问题,但是,由于沉浸在birdcall中他没有应答,这种鸟鸣是怪怪的、令人激动的、有些忧伤但又是活泼的,作者连用四个形容词来描述Alex听到鸟鸣的感受,注意这四个词的感情色彩,前两个一个中性(odd),一个褒义(exciting);后两个中虽使用了sad,但but表明说话者更强调后者,也就是说着重在zippy上。因此,明显可以看出Alex很享受自然界的鸟鸣声,结合上一段看到的点点萤火虫光,不难推断出Alex对大自然的喜爱,到此,小男孩完成了对自然界的恐惧到欣赏的心理转变。
结合前面阅读的冲突分析,续写部分的主要内容是:Alex看到萤火虫,点点萤光美不胜收,爸爸关切地询问;Alex没有回答,因为他听到了鸟鸣声,沉浸其中,一扫对大自然的恐惧,取而代之的是由衷的喜爱。
总之,分步骤阅读原文,抓住要素、理清情节、分析人物、找到冲突;再读已给的段首句,确定情节的发展以及故事的结局,做完这些准备工作,我们就可以动笔写了。
附:参考范文
Looking into the trees on the shore, Alex noticed tiny points of light twinkling there. The longer he looked, the more flashes he saw. Hundreds of them!They looked like stars coming down from the sky. Alexs eyes were shining with excitement.“What was that?”Alex asked curiously.“Fireflies.” Dad answered with a big smile. Alex reached out to touch the small“spirits”and they just danced gracefully(優雅地)and quietly around him in the darkness. Absorbed, he was pulled back to reality by a clear and nice birdcall.“Its whippoorwill! Isnt it beautiful?”Dad whispered gently.
Alex didnt answer. He had never heard such an odd, exciting birdcall-- sad but zippy(活泼的). It blocked out everything else. Actually the other night creatures seemed to stay quiet for a while to listen to the whippoorwill. Smiling, Alex reeled in(拉起)his line, put on a worm and cast out again. They only got three fish, so small that they put them back into the lake. When back to the cabin, Alex saw his Mom and whispered to her,“Mom, listen!A whippoorwill!”
责任编辑 蒋小青