Jokes

门连海

Date？

A friend who was involved in a serious motorcycle accident was unable to speak when he first regained consciousness. Wishing to know how long he had been unconscious， he took a piece of paper and a pencil from the bedstead， and after writing “Date？” on it， gave it to his nurse. She handed it back to him—after she had written the word “Married！” on it.

A Silly Rabbit

Little Steve has a pet rabbit， Bunny. He plays with it every day after school. One day his mother sees that her little boy is holding Bunny by the ears. From time to time he gives the poor rabbit an angry shake and says， “How much is two plus two？”“Steve，” says his mother， “why do you treat your poor little Bunny that way？”

“Well，” explains Steve angrily， “our teacher says that rabbits multiply very quickly， but this dummy can't even add.”

I Can't

Mr and Mrs Shaw were on safari in Africa. When they were walking through the jungle， suddenly a huge lion sprang out of the bushes and seized Mrs Shaw， dragging her off. “Shoot！” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot！”

“I can't，” he shouted back， “I've run out of film！”

约会好吗？

一位遭遇严重摩托车事故的朋友刚醒过来时还不能说话。他想要知道自己失去知觉多久了。于是他从床架边拿了纸和笔，写着“什么日子？”，并交给他的护士小姐。护士把纸条退给他，上面写着两个字“已婚！”。

（注：英文单词date有一个意思是“日期”，另一个意思是“约会”。）

愚蠢的兔子

小史蒂夫有一只心爱的兔子名叫本尼。他每天放学以后都和兔子玩。一天，他妈妈看见他抓着兔子的耳朵，不时地摇着那只可怜的兔子愤怒地说：“二加二等于几？”“史蒂夫，”他妈妈说，“你为什么那样对待可怜的小本尼？”

“哼，”史蒂夫气愤地解释道：“我们老师说兔子算乘法算得很快，但这个笨蛋连加法都不会。”

（注：multiply可以表示“繁殖”，也可以表示“乘”。老师的意思是“兔子繁殖很快”，但史蒂夫却理解为后者。）

我不能

肖先生和肖太太在非洲旅行。當他俩走过丛林时，突然一头猛狮跳出草丛，想拖走肖太太。“开枪！”她对丈夫喊道。“开枪！”

“我不能！”丈夫回答说，“我的胶卷用完了！”

（注：英文中shoot有一种解释是“开枪”，另一种解释是“抢镜头，快拍照”。）