13个小时的时差，却是漫漫回家路

文、译/Abigail Hope Roy

走在回家的路上，傍晚的微风轻拂过我的脸庞。夕阳的余晖里，天空好像被粉玫瑰和鲜蜜桃浸润过一般。

I step out for the walk home, the evening breeze cool against my face. Above,the sunset sky is shades of pink rose and fresh peaches.

东北饭馆——我的心头好

路边的小贩们推着车一字排开，各自忙活着做着最后的准备。马上，本地学校的高中生们就要放学了，他们会在这些小摊前驻足停留，品尝美食。这平静的街道在接下来的半小时里将会人声鼎沸。

小商贩们像平常一样跟我打招呼，我也对他们点头并报以微笑，然后继续前行。有时，我会在这些不知名的小摊点吃早饭，因为我发现了一个有趣的现象——美味往往隐藏在犄角旮旯里。我最喜欢的早餐是“卷饼”，在热平底锅上铺上鸡蛋和面粉混合而成的液体并摊成饼皮，添上生菜、脆薄饼、一小撮胡萝卜，再加上秘制酱料和红辣椒，真是人间美味！

但是今晚，我不在这儿吃，我和朋友约好去最爱的饭馆吃晚饭。这是一家东北饭馆，也是我的心头好。当你品尝东北菜时，会体验到它独一无二的接地气感。它既不像沿海地区的菜肴那样充满海鲜味，也不像四川菜那样满嘴跑辣。它，刚刚好。而且，中国让我爱上了蔬菜，这里有千变万化的蔬菜烹饪方式。茄子烧豆角是我的新宠。我学过一些中式菜，这样，当我回美国探亲时，就可把最爱的味道分享给家人。

Dongbei restaurant, my favorite

Food sellers are pushing their carts out to the sidewalk, arranging bowls of chopped ingredients. Soon the local high school will let out for the day, and the students will all stop to eat on their way home, which will make this street very busy in the next half an hour.

I smile and nod as the vendors call out to me, but I keep walking. Sometimes I stop for breakfast at the little carts—they have wonderful food; these are one of the most fun things I’ve discovered since moving to China—and my favorite is a breakfast “wrap,” with the shell made of batter and eggs, cooked on a circular hot plate, and fi lled with lettuce, a crispy-fried dough stick, a sprinkle of radish, a mysterious brown sauce, and hot red pepper sauce. It’s amazing!

But not for tonight. Tonight, a friend is meeting me for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.

The restaurant serves dongbei food, from the northeast of China, and it’s my absolute favorite. The tastes of dongbei food come alive in your mouth in a way that I haven’t found anywhere else. There’s not as much seafood as on the coast, and it’s not as mouth-melting spicy as the fl avors of Sichuan province. It’s just right.

Also: the vegetables! China has taught me to love vegetables, opening my eyes to the many new ways they can be cooked—eggplant and green beans are my new favorites. I’ve even learned a few recipes, because I want to be able to take the fl avors back to the US when I visit and share them with my family.

饭馆老板认识我和朋友，因为我们

The restaurant owner knows my friend and I—we are here so often that he recognizes us easily. My friend’s Chinese is much better than mine, so she asks about his family before we order. He smiles widely and says that they are doing fi ne, then asks about her parents, and afterwards invites his eightyear-old daughter over to say “hello” and practice her few words of English.Although we don’t always understand each other, these moments of cultural exchange are sweet.是这里的常客。朋友的中文比我好太多，点菜前她跟老板寒暄了几句，老板笑容满面地和她互问家人好，然后叫她八岁的女儿过来跟我们打招呼并练英语。虽然有时我们不能明白对方在说什么，但我很享受这文化交流的时刻。

信任和依赖助我前行

吃完晚饭，朋友和我各自回家，我走进了超市。当我从货架上拿淀粉、牛奶和蔬菜时，记忆将我拉回了刚来中国的第一周。

在中国的头几天，可谓困难重重，那时的我非常无助。我没有手机，没有网络，也没有现金可以购物。没有吃的，没有沐浴露，甚至连去哪买生活必备品也不知道。更糟的是，我无法和人交流。来中国之前，我已经大学毕业，但是在那一周里，我觉得自己像孩子一样无助，作为一个独立的个体，那段时间，我的内心真的是无比挣扎。

感恩的是，新朋友给了我帮助。他们为我搞定了电话、网络和现金，然后带我去便利店，给我介绍美食。渐渐地，我可以宣布我真正独立了。

我的新朋友既有中国人也有外国同事，他们让我感到自己并不孤独，而我也学会了信任和依赖。友谊的美丽与力量让我能谦卑地去寻求帮助，这是我在第一周里学到的，相信也会伴随我未来在中国的日子。

每当我看到外国人初来中国，常为自己不停地提问或为吃饭、旅行寻求翻译而表示歉意时，就会想起往日我和朋友们互相帮衬的情形。当我们彼此搀扶、彼此依靠、彼此支持时，其实都是在为建立更好的关系而不断学习成长。

Trust and dependency lead my way

After dinner, my friend and I go separate directions, and I walk to the supermarket. As I collect things from the shelves—corn starch, milk,oatmeal—I think back to my fi rst week in-country.

My first few days in China were difficult, because I felt helpless to do anything for myself. I didn’t have a phone or Internet or the correct money to buy anything. I had no food or shampoo and no idea where to go to fi nd these basic, simple things. Worse, I didn’t have the right words to ask about anything. Before coming to China, I had graduated from college, but that fi rst week in-country I was as lost as a child. As an independent person, that was a huge struggle early on.

Thankfully, new friends came to help. They sorted out my phone and internet and money, and then took me to the corner store and helped me to explore local restaurants. Gradually, I reclaimed my independence.

The new friends-both Chinese locals and other expats-also helped me to learn. They showed me that I was not helpless; I was simply learning to be interdependent. The beauty and strength of community, of friendships, of learning to humble myself enough to ask for help-these are the lessons built into those fi rst weeks, and they’ve carried on through my time as an expat here.

When someone new to China apologizes for asking so many questions or for needing a translation or a meal or a trip to the store, I come back around to these memories and the circle of grace offered to each other through this process. We are all learning. When we help one another, when we lean on one another for support, we all grow in community because of it, and that makes for better relationships across any cultures.

Letting go of the memories, I leave the store and visit the fresh market,stopping by dimly-lit stalls of several different vendors, picking through fruit, vegetables, eggs, and herbs to select the ones that look best. Some of the vegetables come with dirt still on them, a reminder of how recently they came from the ground, likely brought into the city on a truck that morning.

In America, the vegetables would already be clean, sometimes already cut up, and ready-to-use in shiny plastic packages. The fresh market in China is more work for me, but it’s also a simpler, more connected system. Here,I know that the produce is fresh, because of the dirt or chicken feathers still stuck to it. Here, I know the vegetables will be clean, because I’ll wash them with my own hands. Here, the lady who sells eggs knows me, and we can have a short exchange with many smiles and happy words as we communicate in a limited language exchange. Shopping becomes personal and more about doing community than about checking off a necessary errand.

离开超市，我去了菜场。在黄昏的光晕中，为了挑选到更好的水果、蔬菜和鸡蛋，我在几个摊子前转来转去。有些蔬菜沾上了泥土，仿佛在提醒我，它们是今早才被采摘运送过来的。

在美国，我们买到的都是净菜，有些已经切好包好，随时可用。中国的菜场虽然不那么“高大上”，但有更多交流的机会，所以更对我的胃口。在这里，我可以从一坨泥或一根鸡毛上知道菜有多新鲜，并且亲手把它们洗得干干净净。这里卖鸡蛋的小贩认识我，虽然我们语言不通，但可以从彼此满面的笑容和开心的表情中读懂对方。购物对我来说不再是冷冰冰的挑选与付款，而是人与人之间的互动与交流。

在孩子的嬉闹中 我看到了生活

走出菜场，我进了小区。来中国以前，我从没住过高于两层楼的房子，但在这里，我住在一座34层楼的中间，视野开阔，朝阳绚丽。

夜幕降临，一群中年妇女跟着欢快的音乐跳起了广场舞。而在清晨，她们总是安静而坚定地打太极，随着复杂的动作而缓缓移动，这对控制力有着极高的要求。现在，我看到了她们有力而优雅的一面，我不禁暗想，要是有勇气加入她们该多好啊！

擦身而过的，还有一群牵着孙子的爷爷奶奶们，孩子们的帽子上都有动物耳朵，非常可爱。有时候，他们会为了要东西而跟大人哭闹，虽然很难听懂他们咿咿呀呀的在说什么，但这画面实在有趣。其实，有些事情是不需要说得太清楚的，对吧？

代际交流在中国有着广泛而深刻的意义。父母会带孩子们出门，但更多时候，是爷爷奶奶们陪伴孙辈们。因为大人要上班，实在没时间。我很乐于见到以这种方式将家人联结在一起。

大点儿的孩子们结伴玩耍，他们攀爬小区里的大石头。当我经过他们身边时，他们大声地同我打招呼。

I see life in children’s frolic

From the fresh market, I head back to my apartment complex. Before China,I had never lived in a house taller than two stories, but the buildings here are thirty-four stories, and I’m halfway up, with a whole new view of the world.The sunrise over a city can be surprisingly beautiful.

In the gathering dusk, a group of women are dancing in unison to cheerful music. In the early mornings, I have seen some of them doing tai chi with swords, fi erce and silent, slowly moving through complex moves that require the utmost control. As the women dance now, I marvel at how strong and graceful they seem, and secretly wish that I had the courage to join them.

Farther on, babies and toddlers in jackets with animal ears (and occasionally tails) wander about, minded by a grandparent or another relative. Some of the little ones are screeching in attempts to get something they want. Most are babbling to one another or their caretakers in baby-talk-unintelligible,but adorable all the same. Some things require no translation.

Generational interconnection seems to hold greater meaning in China. There are mothers or fathers out with their children, but more often grandparents will be leading or trailing after the youngest members of the family. It’s common for grandparents to care for the children of a family while mum and dad are off working, and it’s lovely to see the family bonds that form because of this.

其中一个孩子常滔滔不绝地跟我侃大山，尽管我用有限的中文跟她说了几个月“不好意思，我听不懂”，但她丝毫没有放弃的念头，可能她觉得只要坚持，终有一天我会奇迹般地听懂。

这个女孩又说了些中文，并慢慢重复了一遍，然后期盼地看着我。我鹦鹉学舌般地跟读了一遍，她对我笑了笑。其他的孩子们也都跑了过来，似乎发现了一个新游戏：他们指着树、石头和婴儿，告诉我中文怎么说，然后等着我重复。我说对了！一个满脸严肃的男孩毫不吝啬地夸奖了我。但更多时候，情况刚好相反，我失误连连，状况百出。不一会儿，孩子们就因为我糟糕的发音哈哈大笑，他们的笑声感染了我，我也情不自禁地和他们一起笑起来。

我们互相挥手道别，孩子们继续玩着他们的攀石游戏。一个男孩爬到了最高处，他激情澎湃地将手伸到空中大声喊，“山大王！”

我边走边回头张望，记得小时候我和哥哥姐姐们也玩过类似的游戏——用岩石当高山，泥坑当海洋。想到这里，我突然决定要给家人打个电话，虽然此时此刻我们有13个小时的时差。

Older children are also out playing together, unsupervised, scrambling over the large rocks that decorate the inner spaces of our complex. They shout greetings when I start to pass by.

One of the children chatters a stream of Chinese at me. Despite nearly three months of repeatedly telling her “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand Chinese” in my halting, limited Mandarin, the girl continues to speak whole paragraphs of Chinese at me, perhaps thinking that if she keeps trying,eventually I’ll give in and somehow magically begin to understand her.

The girl says something in Mandarin, then repeats it more slowly, and looks at me expectantly. I parrot the words back to her; she laughs at my attempt.The other children run over, sensing a new game. They all begin pointing at objects-a tree, a rock, a baby-saying the Mandarin words and waiting for me to repeat after them. One solemn boy tells me “good” after I repeat his word correctly, and I dip my head respectfully to him. But mostly it’s a terrible series of me saying things wrongly. Within minutes, the children are all howling with laughter because I’ve mixed up all of the sounds, and their amusement is so contagious, I can’t help but laugh along with them.

I wave goodbye-something we all understand-and they return the wave,running off to continue their game on the rocks. One boy scrambles to the top of the highest rock and shouts, punching his arm into the air with enthusiasm. “King of the mountain. ”

Walking away, I look back a few times to watch the children playing, smiling as I remember similar adventures with my brothers and sisters-we, too,would pretend to make mountains from rocks and oceans from puddles.This makes me decide to call my family, just as soon as we can schedule it around the thirteen time zones separating us.

我人生的前28年都是在美国度过的，而后几年则住在中国。这两个国家有着明显的文化差异。记得初来乍到时，我总是因为不能入乡随俗而沮丧。但是随着时间的推移，我逐渐懂得了一些亘古不变的道理：食物是连接人与人之间的纽带；孩子们通过想象的方式玩游戏；家人很重要，优于一切。即使在地球的两端，有着文化的鸿沟，但在这几点上，人们还是能达成共识的。而且从事物的相似性中，我学到了我们需要有更多的耐心来对待差异，要适时地停下来看看为什么事情会这样，并且始终保持一颗敬畏的心去聆听，去审时度势。

太阳的余晖散落在这座城市的高楼大厦间，散发出似玫瑰又似火焰的光芒，我也终于回到了家。

In China-where I’ve only lived a few years-and the USA-where I was born and spent the first twenty-eight years of my life-the cultures can often be very different. I remember when I first arrived, spending time being frustrated because I didn’t understand why things were happening in a certain way. But over time I’ve learned that some things don’t change: Food brings connection and community between people. Children make games with their imagination and anything around them. Family is important;family comes first. It’s reassuring to know that, even across very different cultures on opposite sides of the Earth, some things stay the same. And in seeing the similarities, I’ve learned to have more patience with the differences, to pause and look for why things are happening, to listen and pay more attention and respect.

The sun sets behind the towering skyscrapers of this Chinese city, glowing across the sky with hues of rose and fi re, and I fi nish walking home.