头条制造者

马华

The Newspaper

It had been a long hard day in the classroom， and Ms. Cramble was looking tired. “Magee，” she said， shaking her head， “you havent listened to me all day. I should give you detention …but Ive got a better idea.”

Oh no！ I hated it when she had better ideas.

“I want you to help out on the school newspaper for the next month，” she said.

“The newspaper！”I groaned.

I might have been full of smart jokes， but I was pretty（相当地）bad at everything else. What use would I be on the newspaper？

Working on the newspaper meant working with Tilly Turner. Tilly was the editor（编辑） and reporter and， unlike me， she was good at everything.

“Well， Magee， what sort of stories do you think we should be working on， for the next week？” Tilly asked me， as we walked over to the newspaper room.

I shrugged. I never read the newspaper.

“So far（到目前为止） we have stories on pets， and the new teacher， and something on Ms. Crambles cuckoo clock（布谷鸟钟）collection（收藏品），” she went on.

“Really？” I said. It was no wonder I never read the newspaper.

Just then I saw something out of the corner of my eyes. It looked like Brad Biggens sneaking into the office.

“Did you see that？” I hissed at Tilly. She looked blank.

“And you call yourself a reporter，” I said， dragging her with me around the side of the building.

“Look，” I whispered（低聲说）， as Brad came out with something in his hand. He quickly pushed whatever it was under his shirt， and ran to the gate. Before we could see any more， he hopped（跳上）on his bike and rode off.

Good Headlines

“Theres a story there！” I said to Tilly. “I can see the headline now：

BAD BRAD IN OFFICE GRAB！”

Tilly stared at me and shook her head. “I dont think so， Magee. Now， I need some help with the story about the biscuit baking competition.”

“BISCUIT BAKERS TAKE THE CAKE，” I shouted.

Tilly rolled her eyes.

“Come on， Tilly，” I said. “If we dont have exciting stories， we could at least have some good headlines.”

By Friday afternoon， I was starting to like working on the newspaper. Id thought up（想出） lots of headlines—although Tilly said we really had to have stories to go with them.

I was working on a story when Tilly flew into the newspaper room. “Ive seen him again！” she shouted.

Now it was my turn to look blank. “Who？”

“Brad Biggens，” she said. “Youre right， hes up to something. Quick， get the camera. Lets go.”

Tilly was starting to get the idea of being a reporter.

Following The Story

As we raced（冲出）outside and around the corner of the library， we saw Brad walking towards the back fence. He was carrying his school jacket， but there was something about it that looked strange and heavy.

Tilly and I both stopped. We could see something was up. Without saying a word， we backed around the corner again， and quietly watched him.

I took the camera out and took some shots as he pushed his jacket into the hedge at the back of the school grounds.

“Looks like hes left something to be picked up，” I whispered.

“Lets go and see what it is，” said Tilly， as Brad disappeared out of the school gate.

When we got to the hedge， Tilly bent down and pushed away some leaves. There was Brads jacket， and wrapped inside were two notebook computers from the school office.

Snapped！

It was just after dark when Brad came back to pick up the computers. He was bending down to take the jacket from under the hedge when he heard us behind him. He turned to look at us as my camera flash went off and I snapped（快速拍照） him in the act.

Ive never seen anyone look so surprised in my life—especially when Ms. Cramble and two police officers stepped out of the darkness.

Tilly rushed forward with her tape recorder. “Brad Biggens， do you have anything to say？”

“I was framed！” he screamed（大叫）， as the officers led him away.

“I dont think so！” yelled（大喊） Tilly. “Weve got photos of you hiding the notebooks here this afternoon.”

The flash from my next photo lit up Brads guilty（内疚的）face.

When I walked into class on Monday， Ms. Cramble was holding the newspaper.

“Good headlines，” she said， giving me a funny smile. I thought she meant：

BRAD TAKES NOTES， POLICE TAKE BRAD

But when I saw she was looking at a different story：

CLOCK COLLECTOR NOT SO CUCKOO AFTER ALL

機缘巧合进报社

又是漫长难捱的一天，克兰布老师站在教室里一脸疲倦。“马吉，”她摇着头说，“你这一天都没有在听讲。真该罚你留校……不过，我有个更好的主意。”

该死！她一提更好的主意就准没好事。

“我要你去学校报社帮忙一个月。”

“报社！”我满是抱怨。

要说讲笑话抖机灵我拿手，可其他我一样不会。放我在报社能干吗？

去报社还意味着要跟蒂莉·特纳共事。人家跟我这个学渣可不是一国的，除了是报社的编辑兼记者，其他也没什么是她不行的。

“马吉，你认为我们下周写什么故事好呢？”在往报社走的路上，蒂莉问我。

我无所谓地耸耸肩，因为那玩意儿我压根没看过。

“目前，我们的选材内容包括宠物、新进教师以及克兰布老师收藏的布谷钟。”她继续说着。

“是嘛！”我回答道。我会看才怪！

就在这时，我瞥到些什么。似乎是布拉德·比金斯溜进了老师办公室。

“你看见没？”我悄声问蒂莉。而她看起来一脸茫然。

“就这样，还说自己是个记者？”我边说边把她拽到大楼拐角处。

“看！”我低声道。布拉德从大楼内出来了，手里还抱着些东西。他迅速拢了拢用来遮掩的衬衣，奔向大门。还没等我俩看清楚，他便跳上自行车，骑走了。

爱上做个标题党

“这里头大有文章啊！”我对蒂莉说。“标题我都想好了：

布拉德巧取豪夺，办公室成犯罪现场！”

蒂莉瞪着我摇了摇头。“算了吧，马吉。我现在需要的是曲奇烘焙竞赛的文章，快帮我出出主意。”

“曲奇烘焙者蟾宫折桂！”我脱口而出。

蒂莉翻了翻白眼。

“蒂莉，拜托！”我说，“既然咱没有吸引眼球的故事，至少在标题上下功夫啊。”

到了周五下午，我竟对报社的活慢慢产生了兴趣。我思路大开，拟了一堆标题——尽管蒂莉不断强调我们得有配套的故事。

那天我正在琢磨个故事，蒂莉突然冲进来。“我又看见他了！”她大叫。

这回轮到我一脸茫然。“谁？”

“布拉德·比金斯啊！”她说。“你说得对，他肯定没干好事。快，拿上相机，我们走！”

看来蒂莉终于开始有点记者的样子了。

费尽心思跟故事

当我们冲出门外来到图书馆的拐角处时，就看到布拉德正朝后院的篱笆走去。他手里抓着校服外套，但里头似乎藏着东西，看起来很有分量，很奇怪。

蒂莉跟我同时停下了脚步。我俩都感觉有事要发生。

我俩心照不宣地退回到拐角处，悄悄地观察。

当布拉德将校服外套塞进学校场地后面的灌木丛时，我掏出相机咔咔拍了几张。

“看起来他是准备回头来取。”我轻声道。

“我们去看看他都藏了啥。”蒂莉看着布拉德消失在校门外，对我说。

我们走近篱笆，蒂莉俯下身推开一些树叶。结果，我们看到被包在校服外套里面的，是从办公室偷来的两台笔记本电脑。

守株待兔抓现行

夜色初暗，布拉德便回来取电脑了。就在他弯下身拿起校服外套的那一刻，他听到了身后的动静。待他转过身时，我已经摆好相机，一下就抓拍到了他的现场罪证。

这辈子我就没见过如此讶异的一张脸，尤其当克兰布老师带着两名警官从夜幕中出现时。

蒂莉一个箭步上前，举起手中的录音笔。

“布拉德·比金斯，你还有什么要说的？”

两名警官正要将他带走，他尖声喊叫道：“我是被陷害的！”

“我可不这么认为！”蒂莉凛然呵斥，“我们手上可有你下午藏匿电脑的照片！”

黑暗中，我透过闪光灯，看见布拉德认罪的表情。

周一当我走进教室时，克兰布老师正举着报纸。

“标题起得不错。”她边说边朝我狡黠一笑。我以为她说的是：

布拉德偷“机”不成反蚀米

结果发现她说的是另一篇：

布谷鸟钟收藏者——咕咕也是情

（英文选自《新理念英语阅读》，中文由Coocoo翻译）

考点详解

no wonder 难怪

Wonder在这里意为“惊奇；稀奇”。短语no wonder 解释为“难怪；怪不得”，相当于中文的“原来如此”。如：Irene： John is very nice to you. 约翰对你很好。/Carol： Because he still owes me some money. 因为他还欠我一点钱。/Irene： No wonder！ 难怪！

我来挑战

Reading comprehension 阅读全文，回答问题

1. How did Ms. Cramble punish （惩罚） Magee when she noticed that he didnt listened to her all day？

2. Who was Tilly Turner？

3. What was Brad Biggens plan？

赏 析

文章讲述了因上课开小差而被老师留校的男生马吉，在阴差阳错之下，与报社优等生蒂莉携手破获一起校园偷窃案的故事。

文章涉及不少趣味十足的英语新闻标题。若是你平时较少阅读英文报刊，不太熟悉英语国家文化背景以及英语的修辞手法——双关、比喻、押韵等，许多妙不可言的精彩之处，一疏忽就可能从眼皮底下滑过去。

比如，文中马吉拟定的几条标题就很有意思。BAD BRAD IN OFFICE GRAB！ 动词grab有“夺取”之意，与bad， Brad形成呼应，韵感十足、朗朗上口。

再如，BISCUIT BAKERS TAKE THE CAKE. To take the cake 意为“得第一；无人能及”，但通常指负面的第一，也就是负面的事情无人能及，如偷竊最厉害、打架最行或骂人第一。英式英语中通常用同义的to take the biscuit， 这也是马吉玩的一个文字游戏。

BRAD TAKES NOTES， POLICE TAKE BRAD. 布拉德偷了笔记本，警察逮了布拉德。这个标题妙就妙在同一个动词take上。于是我在翻译时化用了中文的“偷鸡不成蚀把米”，尽可能还原了标题的修辞特色。

CLOCK COLLECTOR NOT SO CUCKOO AFTER ALL. 布谷鸟cuckoo在作形容词时表示“缺乏理智的；疯狂的；愚蠢的”，这里一语双关。

包括故事的标题，也蕴含双关！你看出来了吗？

你也来试着翻译下面两个标题吧：

1. After The Boom（繁荣） Everything Is Gloom（萧条）

2. Looking Back To Look Ahead